"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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To or not to ask?

Undispu7ed

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So I'm in college. My chemistry lab TA is a grad student(only a year older than me though). She's real pretty, intelligent, and has a hint of nerdy-ness. I notice she looks at me a lot but I don't know to take it. The other day I stayed a little after our session to help her clean up a bit. I got to know her a little bit by asking questions such as how she got into teacher assisting and what she's studying for, etc. After that she thanked me for the help and I was on my way out, then she asked for my name. I told her my name and said 'Bye, see you in a week'

Here's the predicament. I'd like to ask her if she wants to hang out or grab lunch sometime. Problem is, how should I go about doing this? If she rejects me, I'd have to deal with the awkwardness until the end of the semester, which is around May, lol. Or should I not even bother?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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alwayslead8821

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I think deeling with the awkwardness would be better than kicking yourself for not making a move! Go for it man and if it doesn't work out oh well you'll stop caring as soon as you start working on the next girl
 

Captain

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Undispu7ed said:
SI got to know her a little bit by asking questions such as how she got into teacher assisting and what she's studying for, etc.
All very well, but asking that won't get her panties wet. Don't be conservative, put yourself out there, make jokes, make fun of her. Nice guys hold back because they are afraid of offending a woman.

If she rejects me, I'd have to deal with the awkwardness until the end of the semester, which is around May, lol.
It's only awkward if you think it is awkward, and therefore act awkward towards her.

Or should I not even bother?
If you don't try, then you automatically fail. It's the worst possible outcome.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Bible_Belt

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I'd like to ask her if she wants to hang out or grab lunch sometime. Problem is, how should I go about doing this?


Do it on a whim. Next time you have her alone, just blurt out, "Are you hungry? (no pause for her to reply) I am fvcking starving! Let's go eat right now!" If she says she's not hungry, tell her that's great, she can watch you eat. Say it with a little smile; joking but serious. She will follow you if you lead the way.
 

Undispu7ed

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Bible_Belt said:
I'd like to ask her if she wants to hang out or grab lunch sometime. Problem is, how should I go about doing this?


Do it on a whim. Next time you have her alone, just blurt out, "Are you hungry? (no pause for her to reply) I am fvcking starving! Let's go eat right now!" If she says she's not hungry, tell her that's great, she can watch you eat. Say it with a little smile; joking but serious. She will follow you if you lead the way.
Best reply of this thread. Haha, why didn't I think of this.
 
U

user43770

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Undispu7ed said:
Best reply of this thread. Haha, why didn't I think of this.

Bible knows his sh1t. On another note, it's only awkward if you make it that way; nonchalance is key.
 
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