Tips on staying emotionally detached

[mister.ritenow]

hey folks,

I know this is easier said than done, but every few years there is a perfect storm in my life that puts me in an uncomfortable position where I am obsessing over a girl, usually where there is a low chance of success.

That isn't to say that these periods aren't interspersed among healthy rational dating, but when they come, it is very distracting and takes a while to get out of my system, albeit easier to deal with as I get older and understand what's going on.

It's one thing to be bummed and missing someone after a LTR has ended, but I was wondering if you guys had any tips on severing feelings at the onset of infatuation, or where you feel stuck wanting someone when you should clearly be moving on and stop wasting your time.

Like I said, easier said than done, but I'd love some pointers because this is one of the main things that has held me back in the past.

Thanks in advance!

 

[mister.ritenow]

Well there was this girl I really liked who i banged, and then we stopped because of her not wanting to end it with her boyfriend. I was bummed but went NC and went out meeting new women. Realized she wasnt special and after something happened in my life that she witnessed she got in contact to make sure I was ok. Since then i have been working on her and i have a date with her planned now. About 95% positive I will bang her again. I've flaked on her twice now and she's eager to see me. But I've stayed emotionally detached by:

-Keeping my options open. Planning other dates
-Realizing she's not important like I used to think
-Staying busy and not thinking about her all the time

Those are my three tips to not developing oneitis. Yes there are women that will try to get you under their spell, and you just have to force yourself not to fall for it.

Thanks man, much appreciated. I thought this kind of behavior was behind me after several years of lack of oneitis, but I guess we all fall sometimes.