Tips on nailing a 33 year old business woman as a younger man

[drift king]

ok i got a last minute date with a successful career woman who's 33. She's about 8 year's older than me but i told her i was close to 30.

anyway she knows im younger than her and that isn't an issue but she's interested in seeing what the date is like..

when i was 22 i went out on a date with a 28 year old and that did not go well.

how do you game an older women?

she clearly isn't just in it for the sex (as i would hope) and i can imagine how tonight will go that she ends up saying 'oh my flattered but you're too young for me' and walks away with satisfaction that she can still attract young guys.

i don't want it going down that route so how should i be or act, i clearly have to be evasive with my questions but is it key to act not that interested to force her to try to win me over?

i can see how that once she thinks im attracted.. i've lost.

 

[DJDamage]

how do you game an older women?

You forgot to mentioned the best parts, how did you end up gaming this older woman to begin with? Where was the location that this happened? who made the approach? how did you ask for her number? Details, details details.

 

[COD]

SHEESH READ THE POSTS DUDE...........


http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=148190

 

[drift king]

thanks cod. i did.

what i mean is that my particular seems like she's just seeing me to flatter herself that she's still got 'it' but is probably planning to reject me at the end of the night.. just to tell her friends she did.

it's my perogative to get around this and actually succeed.. but how do i do this?

she isn't old enough to be a cougar (33) just a single successful career woman.

 

[drift king]

You forgot to mentioned the best parts, how did you end up gaming this older woman to begin with? Where was the location that this happened? who made the approach? how did you ask for her number? Details, details details.

sorry, nothing exciting, typical facebook style pick up. she's intrigued never dated someone from my race before curious to find out what we're like.

any suggestions how to approach it?

 

[drift king]

ok as expected tonight did not go well and it was due to the fact she is one of those annoying women who's business is run on teaching other women how to keep their husbands happy and relationship counselling etc.. it also involves anti ageing cream and crap like that.

i had to spend a whole evening listening to presentation crap about how men and women don't get on and when a man is looking to stray it's important to go on this course for an education to teach women how to avoid such situations.

i found all of it really pretentious and patronising. she was fine when we first met all bubbly and fun and the age thing didn't seem to be an issue. i made a few C+F jokes got good response.

at one point her buckle from her heel came off and she had to reattach it and asked me to bend down and do it for her.. my first reaction was like f*ck that.. i'm not your slave.

then when we went in to the bar and sat down she started interrogating me why i chose this bar specifically blah blah.. i found this really annoying and intrusive cos i could tell she was tryna psycho analyze me then the waitress kept coming back and forth again and again asking what we wanted when we were looking at the menu's (very annoying when we told her wait a sec) esp when i was in full flow with the charm offensive.

eventually the drinks came and the waitress asked me if i wanted to pay now or put it on the tab.. (usually they just bring the bill at the end) i felt on the spot so i paid for it there and there cos knowing her she'll probably run up the drink order and i'd be out of pocket loads.

then she proceeds to tell me why she's here cos 'i'm not her type at all' but it's cos of my messages.. then she starts to berate me telling me how im not this and not that and then says 'i'll teach you some things' in reference to her business teaching women how to keep their man and for what men should do.. i felt like i was being lectured at and patronised.

i felt like i had to establish my boundaries and tell her not to talk to me in that way or about something i'm not interested in.. i didn't say it in the most tactful manner and i sounded quite annoyed and i was. i then said something along the lines of 'so do u have anything else to talk about besides your work?' not in a joke way but anyway she told me i was rude and that she would have not said it in the way i did.. i proceeded to apologise (maybe i shouldn't have) and say that i had to establish my boundaries and it wasn't cool that she's lecturing me in this way when i never asked for one.

anyway i could tell it wasn't going that well after that.. surprise surprise.. and she was rejecting my kino.. i felt like it was one of those crappy situations where u get LJBF'd.. she told me that she's so in tune with herself that she knows within few seconds of meeting someone or not whether it is going to work or not and there's no point trying thereafter (i felt that well if that's the case u shoulda told me there and then rather than me wasting my night)

but knowing these b1tches they think 'ok lets be friends instead then or whatever' and they keep taking this high and mighty tone of 'oh i'll give YOU a chance to impress me' anyway that bar was closing up early and we thought of going to a different one.. i started talking about customs in different countries about who should pay etc.. and proceeded to explain that it's customary for the man to pay for one drink then you buy the next.. to which she refuted..

when we sat down in the next bar i muted the idea again and she cussed me out for it saying that 'i wasn't man enough or manly enough' cos i expected the girl to buy the next round and she'd walk out if i suggested it.. this really f'd me off cos she continued to criticise me about how i wasn't the right man for her cos i couldn't provide for her.. basically trying to manipulate me into proving that i could afford to buy her these drinks and if i didn't i wasn't man enough..

i had enough and was ready to walk out so i said 'let's leave' i pretended i had to go see a friend. some BS excuse. i really should have said 'look if you're going to carry on talking to me like this then im going' then i should have just walked out on her.. cos it's full on rejection.

but pvssy hole as i am i walked her to the station but it was closed so she had to take the bus so i offered her a lift to the next station where she proceeded to talk about 'maybe it's a good thing to leave cos u can clearly see it's not working'

should i have just upped and left when she was cussing me out for not being 'man' enough for her etc?

she's russian bear in mind and in their country all men have to pay for everything as it's expected.. i think they're getting taken advantage of but it's a nightmare.. i only wanna bang these b1tches but getting around this paying issue is impossible.

 

[truthistruth]

No and a good bye

NO is powerfull ,use it when its needed.

 

[AKA FLEX]

What did the barber say? "NEXT!"

And yes, if a woman starts cussing me out on a first date, the date is over. You should have cut your losses right there, or probably earlier.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

ok as expected tonight did not go well and it was due to the fact she is one of those annoying women who's business is run on teaching other women how to keep their husbands happy and relationship counselling etc.. it also involves anti ageing cream and crap like that.

i had to spend a whole evening listening to presentation crap about how men and women don't get on and when a man is looking to stray it's important to go on this course for an education to teach women how to avoid such situations.

i found all of it really pretentious and patronising. she was fine when we first met all bubbly and fun and the age thing didn't seem to be an issue. i made a few C+F jokes got good response.

at one point her buckle from her heel came off and she had to reattach it and asked me to bend down and do it for her.. my first reaction was like f*ck that.. i'm not your slave.

then when we went in to the bar and sat down she started interrogating me why i chose this bar specifically blah blah.. i found this really annoying and intrusive cos i could tell she was tryna psycho analyze me then the waitress kept coming back and forth again and again asking what we wanted when we were looking at the menu's (very annoying when we told her wait a sec) esp when i was in full flow with the charm offensive.

eventually the drinks came and the waitress asked me if i wanted to pay now or put it on the tab.. (usually they just bring the bill at the end) i felt on the spot so i paid for it there and there cos knowing her she'll probably run up the drink order and i'd be out of pocket loads.

then she proceeds to tell me why she's here cos 'i'm not her type at all' but it's cos of my messages.. then she starts to berate me telling me how im not this and not that and then says 'i'll teach you some things' in reference to her business teaching women how to keep their man and for what men should do.. i felt like i was being lectured at and patronised.

i felt like i had to establish my boundaries and tell her not to talk to me in that way or about something i'm not interested in.. i didn't say it in the most tactful manner and i sounded quite annoyed and i was. i then said something along the lines of 'so do u have anything else to talk about besides your work?' not in a joke way but anyway she told me i was rude and that she would have not said it in the way i did.. i proceeded to apologise (maybe i shouldn't have) and say that i had to establish my boundaries and it wasn't cool that she's lecturing me in this way when i never asked for one.

anyway i could tell it wasn't going that well after that.. surprise surprise.. and she was rejecting my kino.. i felt like it was one of those crappy situations where u get LJBF'd.. she told me that she's so in tune with herself that she knows within few seconds of meeting someone or not whether it is going to work or not and there's no point trying thereafter (i felt that well if that's the case u shoulda told me there and then rather than me wasting my night)

but knowing these b1tches they think 'ok lets be friends instead then or whatever' and they keep taking this high and mighty tone of 'oh i'll give YOU a chance to impress me' anyway that bar was closing up early and we thought of going to a different one.. i started talking about customs in different countries about who should pay etc.. and proceeded to explain that it's customary for the man to pay for one drink then you buy the next.. to which she refuted..

when we sat down in the next bar i muted the idea again and she cussed me out for it saying that 'i wasn't man enough or manly enough' cos i expected the girl to buy the next round and she'd walk out if i suggested it.. this really f'd me off cos she continued to criticise me about how i wasn't the right man for her cos i couldn't provide for her.. basically trying to manipulate me into proving that i could afford to buy her these drinks and if i didn't i wasn't man enough..

i had enough and was ready to walk out so i said 'let's leave' i pretended i had to go see a friend. some BS excuse. i really should have said 'look if you're going to carry on talking to me like this then im going' then i should have just walked out on her.. cos it's full on rejection.

but pvssy hole as i am i walked her to the station but it was closed so she had to take the bus so i offered her a lift to the next station where she proceeded to talk about 'maybe it's a good thing to leave cos u can clearly see it's not working'

should i have just upped and left when she was cussing me out for not being 'man' enough for her etc?

she's russian bear in mind and in their country all men have to pay for everything as it's expected.. i think they're getting taken advantage of but it's a nightmare.. i only wanna bang these b1tches but getting around this paying issue is impossible.

Perfect example of the self-fullfilling prophecy at work. Your posts before were already full of negative expectations, and too much you pre-qualifiying yourself to a woman you considered out of your league.

By the time I scrolled down to read the rest of the posts, I read your report and was not surprised by the outcome, and couldn't offer you my advice to turn up your positivity and adjust your attitude a little bit, and have fun. You were expecting the night to go bad and took every chance you got to turn an average situation into a disaster. You acted way too uptight for somebody so young. She went thinking how you might be fun and open minded, since you are younger.

When she started talking about her work, it was a perfect opportunity to get her to elaborate, and answer some of the questions you have about relationships/dynamics, and offer your own opinions (a subtle way of communicating you get it). No bid deal man. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

You did what most men do, of any age, specially her age. You buckled at the first opportunity of her doing her thing by reacting and falling into her frame and reacting, instead of doing what most men she dates don't do, which is to stay cool, calm, friendly, having a good time, and teasing her and challenging her.

The men her age don't do that. Instead, they start comparing resumes/carreer with the broad and come across as approval seeking tools. You sarge a 33 year old the same way you do any woman of any age. The key is being prepared for anything she dishes out, and if you don't, stay cool and don't take every interaction too serioulsy. Be adaptable and flexible without giving away your power.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Oh my lord...what a horrifying field report...but then--a 25 year old man dating a 33 year old woman he met on facebook? It was probably doomed from the onset, don't worry about it.

This is an over 30 AW, not a career woman. There's not much of a chance of her connecting with a 25 year old, but she'll do it just to boost her ego and make herself feel like she's single by choice. Career women that aren't really secure with themselves often DO seek out younger men for hookups, but it's rare for them to get involved with them on a deeper level. They're also likely to be highly critical of their younger partners' apparent lack of discipline and will climb aboard the soapbox every chance they get. However, if a career woman was dating a man in his mid-thirties/forties, there'd be no problem. You were a victim of ageism!

I'd say this one was a bad apple and you should've cut the date WAYY short as soon as she started that "not a man" bs. Even better, for the sake of humor I would've excused myself to the restroom and then just left without telling her. The good thing about a bad date is that you will likely never see the other person again, so don't hesitate for a second when it comes to not taking s#it from them.

However, when gaming more mentally balanced older women, the best thing you can do is treat HER like the younger one. It's an unconscious desire of women of ALL ages to have a partner that takes charge and speaks from a position of authority, even when the age difference would suggest the opposite. Tease her like she's a 22 year old, and she'll eventually come to believe she is one. No matter what age we are, they are times when we feel much older than we are and times when we feel much younger. You have to give them the exact same feelings they got when they were 22 and had a crush on the cool, mature 25 year old. Difficult? Yes. Impossible? No.

Better yet, forgot about older women and stick to those 22 year olds.

 

[mpimpin]

hence why she's single...and what makes her so damn qualified to give relationship advice for a living?

 

[drift king]

Perfect example of the self-fullfilling prophecy at work. Your posts before were already full of negative expectations, and too much you pre-qualifiying yourself to a woman you considered out of your league.

By the time I scrolled down to read the rest of the posts, I read your report and was not surprised by the outcome, and couldn't offer you my advice to turn up your positivity and adjust your attitude a little bit, and have fun. You were expecting the night to go bad and took every chance you got to turn an average situation into a disaster. You acted way too uptight for somebody so young. She went thinking how you might be fun and open minded, since you are younger.

When she started talking about her work, it was a perfect opportunity to get her to elaborate, and answer some of the questions you have about relationships/dynamics, and offer your own opinions (a subtle way of communicating you get it). No bid deal man. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

You did what most men do, of any age, specially her age. You buckled at the first opportunity of her doing her thing by reacting and falling into her frame and reacting, instead of doing what most men she dates don't do, which is to stay cool, calm, friendly, having a good time, and teasing her and challenging her.

The men her age don't do that. Instead, they start comparing resumes/carreer with the broad and come across as approval seeking tools. You sarge a 33 year old the same way you do any woman of any age. The key is being prepared for anything she dishes out, and if you don't, stay cool and don't take every interaction too serioulsy. Be adaptable and flexible without giving away your power.

i was acting fun at the beginning then she starts to psycho analyze me and tell me she's psycho analyzing me.. very offputting.. my question is what the hell was she expecting from a 25 year old??

it's like she was expecting it to work in the long term even though she established she was in between phases of just sleeping around and looking for something serious.

she tells me off the bat that i'm 'not her type at all' but i was very charming in my messages (in other words im not remotely physically attracted you but i'll see what you're like) i thought 'well why am i wasting my time here u should have told me that at the beginning' and by the end of the date i started to expel this annoyance when she started cussing me out for being rude i started telling her how she was rude too..

fair enough a guy her age would be comparing resumes and stuff but why would she be doing that with me.. i tried to be fun but she kept turning it into some experiment to see if i could provide for her in the long term.. when i talked about paying customs i wanted to find out if she was taking advantage of me or something else.. because right before that she started talking about being friends.. i thought 'so u want to be friends now and you are still expecting me to pay for you??' fvck off'

i pretended i had to go see someone when i suggested to leave.. then she goes onto say straightafter 'it's probably for the best.. you can see it's not going to work' do you reckon she just said that to save face cos she was surprised how rude i was and that i just was prepared to up and leave?

 

[Jeffst1980]

Oops, I could've saved myself a post if I had checked this article on Yahoo!'s front page: http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/s...fdG9kYXkEc2xrA2RhdGluZy1vbGRlci13b21lbgR6egNh

Read this article for some good ol' fashioned bland, inoffensive advice. Then go out and score those grannys...

 

[Gangster Of Love]

hence why she's single...and what makes her so damn qualified to give relationship advice for a living?

That is exactly what I would have focused on. Making her jump through my hoops, and teasing her, in a charming way though. Perfect opportunity to bust her balls.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

i was acting fun at the beginning then she starts to psycho analyze me and tell me she's psycho analyzing me.. very offputting.. my question is what the hell was she expecting from a 25 year old??

it's like she was expecting it to work in the long term even though she established she was in between phases of just sleeping around and looking for something serious.

she tells me off the bat that i'm 'not her type at all' but i was very charming in my messages (in other words im not remotely physically attracted you but i'll see what you're like) i thought 'well why am i wasting my time here u should have told me that at the beginning' and by the end of the date i started to expel this annoyance when she started cussing me out for being rude i started telling her how she was rude too..

fair enough a guy her age would be comparing resumes and stuff but why would she be doing that with me.. i tried to be fun but she kept turning it into some experiment to see if i could provide for her in the long term.. when i talked about paying customs i wanted to find out if she was taking advantage of me or something else.. because right before that she started talking about being friends.. i thought 'so u want to be friends now and you are still expecting me to pay for you??' fvck off'

i pretended i had to go see someone when i suggested to leave.. then she goes onto say straightafter 'it's probably for the best.. you can see it's not going to work' do you reckon she just said that to save face cos she was surprised how rude i was and that i just was prepared to up and leave?

Sounds to me like you are very sensitive to criticism, perhaps even paranoid about certain th ings. You might want to work on that first. Number one, who cares what her agenda is. You need to get to the point where it doesn't really matter what game she brings to the table. Either you start adapting her frame and play her game, you direct her to a different game, or you stay and do your thing. You tried reacting to what she had planned, without adapting and taking the perfect opportunity to bust her balls.

If you "date" enough, you will get enough "no", enough "yes", enough "maybes", enough "I'll call you/get back at you", enough "you're not my type", but most important, you will learn to NOT put too much emphazis on what SHE thinks about you. Remember, you don't know these women. The frame needs to be, "I am going to TEST HER, in a fun, relaxed way, and see if she is the type I want to see again. Then I WILL DECIDE if and what type of relationship I want her for, if she should make the cut."

You can't take the whole thing too seriously to the point where everything is so calculated and has a meaning to you. Yes, she was saving face, and giving BOTH OF YOU a way out, in a natural, and polite way, but seems like you took offense at that too. My brother, just be more flexible. Go back and read and pick apart your date in a few days, when you are feeling very positive, and you'll realize just how much you learned from this one. Remember, the key is controlling your emotions, not letting your emotions control you.

 

[COD]

AH YOU NEGLECTED TO MENTION SHE WAS A FOREIGN WOMAN.........U gotta use COMPLETLY DIFFERENT APPROACH WITH THESE TYPES.