"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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TimN's bootcamp. Enjoy :- )

tim_n

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OK, I've posted my experience in a couple of threads. Whilst some of your have even tried to discredit my adventures (I don't care btw) I can still confess to being a complete newbie!

Today is day two of my boot camp.

Yesterday (thursday) I began to read the bible. I am not by nature a very timid person, but I felt the need to really get to grips with why I was doing this.

Here is my sob story:

Just over 3.5 years ago (well, perhaps 4 years ago) I met a girl who I labelled my stalker. She was quite persistant, and I did nothing to discourage her - she was a movie addict and my collection of DivX was quite substantial (let us not compare this to p e n i s size, please...).

She would come over pretty much every other day and watch movies. This didn't particularly bother me. To cut a long story short, after about two - four months, we began dating (I was sleeping around at the time with psycho girls off the net, and friends of friends). This was mainly to do with my own shortcommings and I couldn't come to terms with my confidence - university sorted that out quite well.

My relationship with my 'stalker' unfortunately fell into several traps, and recently, after 3.5 years, I ended it.
This was not a light decision - she does pretty much everything I ask, but I don't feel the relationship is two ways, or even challenging. (don't force comments on this - I did a hell of a lot for her too)

So it's come to an end. We've slept together since, but I know and she knows it is at an end.

Anyway, now you've got the long version let me progress onto my boot camp!

Thursday: Reading Bible.
Friday: Begining exercises 1&2.

Where to begin? I am a pub person by nature. I hate trendy music and felt that my obvious approach to the ladies would be felt as my misconception was that 'trendy' girls are easier.

This is, in fact, a complete lie! All women are basically the same. They enjoy attention, fun and talk. Remember this!

So, I entered an alternative club - excessively early - 9:05pm because it was free. Two friends of mine turned up much later on, but I had already begun the exercises. Before they arrived, I had already spoken to 3 people.

This continued into the night, until around midnight when a drunken girl who was trying to get my attention stabbed my lip with the hot end of a cigarette!

This didn't stop the evening fun (I was really enjoying it btw) and even danced with the girl who stabbed me with the cigarette - I didn't get much of a response from her except 'wee' when she decided to leave the dancefloor. Kinky? lol

I bought only one drink for a girl that evening - she did have a boyfriend but I confirmed with her that I had no intention of dating her (that was a complete lie - she's gorgeous (HB8), loved the music I was into and was very, very receptive. I later met the boyfriend, congratulated him and told him he'd better watch her more closely next week ;- )

All in all I spoke to around 6 blokes and 21 women. Not bad for an evening. But I decided to tip the iceburg. I did ask several women for their phone numbers - and was declined (can I count that as next weeks exercise?) but I then moved into the usually unatainable.

I approached the bar girl!

And scored :- ) I've got her number right here. She's a lovely girl, taller than most and pretty + intelligent. Who could ask for more? She's also off to Canada in October - but that's ok :- )

The conversation started as:

Are you enjoying breathing everyones smoke?

No, it's pretty throat drying around here. I wish they wouldn't do it at the bar.

<laughs> well, I suppose it's all part of the night out. Is this your full time job?

No, I only work here on the friday and saturday nights!

Really? What do you do the rest of the time?

I work in law - mainly admin stuff

Really? Does that fufil your life?

No, I'm off to Canada at the end of this year!

Nice! Canada is lovely - very polite over there. I've been all around America. I started up in Stowe (that's true dontcha know) and moved up vermont. Watch out for the maple syrip, that's lovely on pancakes. Are you looking forward to it?

Yeah

Would you mind if I took your number? You're really nice and I'd love to meet up with you over a coffee sometime, that is unless your boyfriend wouldn't mind.

A coffee?

Well, unless you fancy something stronger - I just thought working in a bar you'd be sick of alcohol!

Is this romantically or as friends? I'm happy as I am.

Either - you're really easy to talk to, I admire that.

Sure, here's my number...

---

Afterwards several people at the bar were gawping at me, and one guy shook me by the hand. They didn't even seem pissed off I monopolised her time for about ten minutes!

The moral of this story is:

- Boot camp works wonders - get off your ass, women don't fall down your chimney often

- Women are easy to talk to. Just chat! If they 'bite' just laugh, kiss them on the cheek and move on. Come back later, smile and chat some more, then leave them so they don't feel you're a freak. This meant later I was introduced to all their friends!

- Even bar girls need boyfriends. The end of the conversation isn't the most encouraging, but I wasn't looking to pull and neither should you at stage one.

- HAVE FUN :- )

~ tommorow the ex is coming over - possibly to stay the night. I won't look back on this, it was a fabulous night, and next week I'll be able to go back, meet up with all my new friends and start the pulling all over again. Remember, next week it's ten rejections! (I had well over my ten conversations and some were over ten minutes!)

I will keep you updated with the rest of my week one. Never skimp on your homework! It's great fun :- )

btw, my lip really hurts. If you get stabbed by a cigarette, stick an icecube on it straight away. This way, you won't get an unsightly boil and can continue your night without worrying about exploding on someone!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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tim_n

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Day Three:

Today I decided to focus on women around the age and looks I would be looking to date. I managed to find 10 such women, though one was a security guard who had a little too much of the lesbian shotputter about her. She was quite good looking though.

Three of them progressed into 5-10 minute chats.

[edit]I approached another 10 this evening. Only one turned into a 4-5minute chat.
 
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tim_n

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Cr*p,

I got flu :- ( 's knocked me out for about 3 days so far.

I managed to stumble into town (had to!) and said hi to about 5 people. Not sure of their gender...

Anyway, the conversations go more like this:

[me] "hi"
[them] "jesus, you look terrible, are you ok?"

lol

Anyway, I'm going to give it a break for a few days, then report back, but I do have a small problem I'm going to announce in another thread.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=73922
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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