Time to cut my losses and move on?

[DrStranglove]

Two year relationship ended a month ago, as things weren't progressing fast enough for her. Admittingly she did give me plenty of warnings and chances. She still called several times per day like nothing had changed, always wanted to know my whereabouts and if I was talking to other girls, like she didn't want me to move on, so I figured it was just a mini-breakup.

Sunday she announces that she joined POF. I said, wait a minute, I wanted to fix things, we don't have to throw 2 years away. She agreed she didn't want it throw it away either, that she loves me, wants things to work, but doesn't know if she can give me another chance, but would let me know.

I told her I wasn't going to be put on the back burner while she checks out other options. Her attitude was basically "I'm not going to go on dates until I give you an answer, but I'm not deleting my profile, and if you don't like it, then feel free to move on". She says she's just talking to people and doesn't really have any intentions to meet anyone.. but we ALL know the low down on POF.

Part of me says to DROP HER HARD and make my own profile before she abruptly moves on, another small part says maybe she's hoping to scare me into making a move. Even if the latter is the case, I can tell she's becoming addicted to the POF attention wave.

Either way it's tough to sit around knowing she's on POF being inundated by men. For my own sanity.. I feel like I need to give her a "Me or POF but not both" ultimatum so I can move on one way or another.

 

[abe0]

Sounds like you and she are on diverging paths and she is acting like an alpha. If the roles were reversed...we would be telling you to do the same thing she is doing to you.....soooo, is it worth it to you to salvage a 2 year relationship while still maintaining your manhood? Or if you have to loose your manhood to maintain this relationship...then she will own you forever. I would hope that the matter could be solved ...while she still knows you are the king. That said, I do not blame her for doing what she is doing....your plan and hers are different and she feels she is wasting her time with you since you are not committing after two years.
BTW, I am new...so pay more attention to others. On the other hand...I do know how to maintain a relationship for 31 years and a happy marriage for 24 years.....not many can say that here. abe

 

[soulforge]

if you give into this, would you be able to trust her again?

for example further down the line, something else crops up, that she is not happy about... is she going to pull a stunt like this again?

i do understand her point of view, but going on pof is not the right way to deal with it

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Soooo, let me get this straight: the problem here is, you were dating for 2 years and she wanted more but you didn't... then, SHE begged and pleaded with you to take this thing to the next level, but you didn't... and now that she's decided to move on, you're mad at her for signing up for a dating site to meet other guys who will eventually be ready to take a relationship to the next level, and you're MAD about it??

:crackup:

DUDE, YOU WERE WITH HER FOR 2 YEARS, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?? The fact that she was even asking you in the first place for a stronger commitment meant she had HIGH INTEREST in you... but a girl can only keep hearing "no" for so long before they realize they're not getting any younger. Dude, you're 29 years old, so I'm assuming she's got to be somewhere near that age... what did you expect?? Most of her girlfriends are probably getting married, and - more importantly - if she LIKES you enough, she's going to want to get married to you!

Far as I'm concerned, the girl's got a good head on her shoulders. If you're not feeling like you're ready for commitment that's fine, but you can't realistically expect her to wait around to see if you MIGHT eventually possibly be ready for it. It's not fair to her. So, even if you like her a whole lot, you have to put her needs first, and if her needs include wanting a deep commitment and you're still not ready, or not thinking it should be with her, or still want to play around or whatever, then you have to let her go.

 

[MikeOck]

Ring > You

 

[nismo-4]

Judge nismo on the case.

Two year relationship ended a month ago, as things weren't progressing fast enough for her. Admittingly she did give me plenty of warnings and chances. She still called several times per day like nothing had changed, always wanted to know my whereabouts and if I was talking to other girls, like she didn't want me to move on, so I figured it was just a mini-breakup.

She wanted things to go further. You didn't do it. Her actions will commence!

Sunday she announces that she joined POF. I said, wait a minute, I wanted to fix things, we don't have to throw 2 years away. She agreed she didn't want it throw it away either, that she loves me, wants things to work, but doesn't know if she can give me another chance, but would let me know.

My ass! She's grabbing the power now! Watch her actions. Words don't mean sh*t!

I told her I wasn't going to be put on the back burner while she checks out other options. Her attitude was basically "I'm not going to go on dates until I give you an answer, but I'm not deleting my profile, and if you don't like it, then feel free to move on". She says she's just talking to people and doesn't really have any intentions to meet anyone.. but we ALL know the low down on POF.

She's looking for your replacement!

Part of me says to DROP HER HARD and make my own profile before she abruptly moves on, another small part says maybe she's hoping to scare me into making a move. Even if the latter is the case, I can tell she's becoming addicted to the POF attention wave.

She probably already did move on.

Either way it's tough to sit around knowing she's on POF being inundated by men. For my own sanity.. I feel like I need to give her a "Me or POF but not both" ultimatum so I can move on one way or another.

You are so f**kin' powerless and you care too much if you have to dish out an ultimatum. Stop looking for closure. Your princess is in another castle.

Read betwe- Case closed.

 

[Greasy Pig]

She was online before she announced she was by the way.

This.
I recommend just walking away. She's acting like a total bytch. Be done with her.