Thought I would introduce myself.

[Nich]

My Name is Nic

I don't know why I didn't think about finding a forum before, but I have been struggling for the past while when it comes to girls, my number is 950:1, I met a amazing girl and kept her for 7 years. When I started to become someone in the relationship who I did not like, it became time to end it, It's been 6 months now and with the exception of the odd date I have been girl less and completely lay less.

I'm 24, and I am still trying to get my head wrapped around dating in 2010's it almost seems like everyone has someone on the side. I have been approached by girls in relationships, married women, and men as well, I have been turning them down (usually unknowingly) all on account of my lack of game, do one night stands not count or something when only dating someone?

I don't mean to sound like I have a big ego or something, but I got looks, height, smarts, career, a house, and style, what I don't have is social IQ

when a guy goes from a 16 year old boy, to a full grown 24 year old adult, and hasn't made a friend or talked to another girl in 7 years, he can be very rusty and where I work, there is not even the chance at talking to girls, separating from a relationship like that, one almost loses half their identity. I have been doing lots of reading and studying in to how to improve myself, but I have never actually sought people out for advice, all my close friends are not good when it comes to women and all are in long term committed relationships, there is no point in asking advice from them. on the bright side, the knowledge i have been learning has been life altering. But theories count for nothing with no results.

I had never really experienced or known of approach anxiety until 6 months ago, would anyone agree that it just gets worse and worse the longer you have been with out girl?

 

[sexysuave]

No, your 'approach anxiety" will go away if you keep approaching. You say that you've done a lot of reading and came acorss "life altering" stuff, well why are you not going out and putting it to practice? YOu should read for a half an hour, and then head out, and try anything. Some of the things you'll remember from reading, but other things will naturaly start coming out.

I'm also a little confused on you getting offers from all these girls, girls who are dating, in relationships, married, or wahtever... how are you getting offers from them? ANd how are you turning them down exactly? and where is this happening, since you say they are no oportunities at work and you're social awkward and have approach anxiety.. where exactly are these women giving you offers? are they all approachign you first? Something just sounds a little off about that..

Do you live in a bigger city?

 

[TheJazz]

Welcome, aspiring Don Juan! For your first steps, go to the DJ Bible at http://www.jbspencer.com/djb and from there, read first the Book of Pook, Anti-Dump's machine, and then the rest. You'd obviously want to put everything into practice as well. Do it right and you'll watch your very life transform before your eyes.

 

[Nich]

lol I am more Alpha Male that I even know, 6 ft, 200lbs, built, and I kinda look like Robert Pattinson from twilight and I have a damn good style. one thing my ex taught me was how to groom myself. I can't leave the house with out getting hit on.

the thing is I am very socially and dating Ignorant, like figuring out the whole touch barrier is something new to me, never had to go thru that before. don't even get me started on eye contact! and when to ask for a number is something I still haven't gotten down same with setting up a date (which is a bad word, it is a meet up) with out looking needy or desperate.

I work in construction, so there are no girls around, on top of that I am working and living in the country, but I have a house in a moderately sized city.

see I never knew about these things called status and approval, and have never played the game before. Until I turned 24, I would go to a bar twice a year, maybe and have never thought like a single guy and I always had one of the hottest girls when I went there. Now I am learning that when I walk in I get noticed, I have a commanding presence and a voice that carries, (that is when I am not feeling anxious) most of the time all it takes is one appearance, and I am remembered by the staff at least, especially since I have been going in alone, sitting at the bar with out saying many words to people, and leaving alone, asking for your beer with a Please makes you stand out a lot, dunno if I should stop doing that or not.

Call a girl to set up a date, tell her we should get together and hookup she didn't call back
(now I know what hook up means)

Girl takes me to her house, I'm so clueless that I don't even know when to kiss her, she has a break down and goes on about all of her success and why she would be good for me, I slept in her guest room and when I left in the morning she was drinking at 7 AM..... now I know when to kiss.... kinda....

at a bar, in my Motorcycle gear, I have a waitress shoving free food and drinks at me, I blew a one night stand by asking her for her number! (I saw something in her eyes that got to me)

at a club, I go to the dance floor a girl grabs me, first time grinding with a girl at 24 (serious grinding too) I wonder what time it is so I pull out my cell phone to check, she dismisses herself immediately, later asks how I am doing, I say perfectly fine later I see her dancing with 2 guys. now I wear a watch...

at a bar with a dance floor, went there with friends, mixed group, one of the girls I came with she and I start to dance, things got a little physical, I kiss her on the neck, she breaks down crying.... I got the nick name Georgy Porgy....
(that one was awesome by the way, she was a playette)

Girl sits beside me, I look at her, I look away, she gets up and leaves. (that one happened a lot) I have a really pissed off looking face when I'm not smiling.

seating hostess, wants to take me back to her place where she has 3 other girl roommates, her shift ends, I say it was nice meeting you, and she bolts, I wonder what the hell just happened.

I have already missed out on 2 threesomes..... both on account of I just couldn't find my voice to speak, due to the anxiety,

and I got more....

I am also looking at places other then bars, like malls, book stores, internet, grocery store.

These life altering things have been more so personal rather than than just dating, if you have been with someone for 1/3rd of your life and they are not there anymore, it can really shock you to the core, and I needed to find out where things exactly went wrong, and how to avoid it. My parents raise me to date in more of a traditional sense, but doesn't get a guy too far in modern times, that's another thing I had to change, but the biggest thing is, is maturing myself into a true adult man, rather than being man child.

 

[TheJazz]

^ Not to be discouraging, but that's going to get tl;dr'd for the most part. Here's some advice based on my immediate assessment of you. Shut up. I'm not being rude, don't get me wrong. But seriously, men revolve around ACTION. Not WORDS. Stop talking, start doing. You're socially ignorant? Quit talking about it and go improve. A quick way to get from socially ignorant to socially awesome is to go out and be bold. Do something you'd squirm at doing. Sing in public, talk to the hot chick you're nervous to talk to, tell a fat chick she's fat... something along those lines. It may seem stupid now, but you'll end up feeling (and being) a whole lot better for it socially. Onward, aspiring Don Juan!

 

[Nich]

Dude, how is that in anyway discouraging? I usually need to be kicked to get to do something, I have come a far way, and I am getting better, a DJ need to start somewhere!!

I'll take note of don't worry about offending people or actually try to.

the way I see it, is I am just going to eventually become what everyone already thinks I am.

by the way, those books are awesome so far. great stuff