Those Who Follow In Our Footsteps

[Desdinova]

When I first joined this board way back in '01, there was no DJ Bootcamp, no Mystery Method, and the DJ bible was in its youth. There was also no active discussion about the negative effect of feminism on this board, nor was there a large amount of anti-marriage discussion.

Personally, I don't mind the anti-marriage discussion. It really opens up our eyes and lets us see what the REAL benefits (and drawbacks) of marriage is in today's society. However, there is one drawback with the whole thing...

Children.

There are a lot of great men here who would be great leaders and role-models for a young boy, or even a girl for that matter. They have the confidence to succeed in life, and to teach their children about the way the world REALLY operates.

I always believed the goal of raising children is to train them to be successful adults. I think that's a good goal, and one that should be had by EVERY parent. I think many of the men on this board would be great fathers.

Unfortunately, it seems that many here are stuck in a hole. Marriage is a bad idea, therefore having children with a wife is out of the question. Getting a woman pregnant whom you're not married to is also a bad idea, because of child support payments.

So now, the intelligent, confident, and suave men on here will have nobody to follow in their footsteps (unless they adopt a child.)

My personal thoughts are as follows: I like to try everything once. I'll try the marriage thing once. If it doesn't work out, then at least I can say that I gave it a shot. I also want to raise at least one child. If I find the job is quite tiresome and time-consuming, I won't have any more but I will take full responsibility for the one child I did have.

The main thing is I'd like someone to give the knowledge that I've learned here. I would like to help train them to become the successful adult that I've become. If he doesn't become successful and turns into a bum, at least I can say that I gave it a shot.

 

[Luthor Rex]

I've been thinking of this problem as well and I'm not sure there is a good solution for it.

There is something about the marriage / child thing that bothers me but that you didn't bring up: having a child and then having that child taken from you.

We all know that in custody battles the woman gets the child 9 times out of 10. I'm not a father, but I can imagine how you must lose a piece of your soul if your child is taken from you and you either don't get to see them or rarely get to see them. God forbid my child is taken from me and then they tell me that mommy or her new boyfriend is abusing that child: this would end in murder real fast.

Can part of the pre-nup be that the man gets the kids? lol

 

[guru1000]

Only those who have not been raised by both mother and father can truly comprehend the significance of a "healthy" household.

This early dynamic will ultimately have a substantial influence on a man's thought process moving forward in life.

Rather than avoiding the "game", just get better at it. This includes but is not limited to qualifying prospects and honing your convictions with the intent to NEVER compromise yourself in the process.

 

[squirrels]

A child needs a positive masculine AND a positive feminine role-model. (a good mother and father)

When and if I ever find a woman I want helping me raise a kid, who I can get along with and see eye-to-eye with, then yes, I might consider it.

To get married to a woman who is less-than-satisfactory for raising a child with you, then to breed with that woman, is selfish and only hurts the child.

I am really not keen on the idea of ANYONE "following in my footsteps". The journey is rather mundane and would require of any successor the same difficulties that are required of me...I must FIND things to make this life worthwhile, all the while grappling with the overall meaninglessness of it all.

Then there's the question of whether "your footsteps" aren't the ones your chiild chooses to follow. Suppose he/she shows a predisposition to follow a different path. Would you let him/her? Or would you subtly guide him/her to a path more like what YOU would want for them?

Anyone who wants to have children either 1) has not thought it through all the way (most of the parents in today's world...many just looking for "the next thing to do") or 2) has a very clear understanding of the stress that it causes and has decided to go for it anyway because it's something they REALLY want to do. I will not join group #1.

Nor will I join group #2 out of vanity, out of the idea that someone following after me provides me with some kind of "legacy" that will be worth a sh!t after I'm rotting in the ground. Is anything more arrogant?