"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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This seemed worthy of reflection

loveshogun

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So, this weekend, I had three different girls, hb7+, throwing themselves at me on the same night. I was just bein' myself, singing songs and havin' drinks with my friends.

Granted, they were college girls, so it's not all that difficult to be impressive when you're employed and you don't look like a frat boy.

I managed to surprise myself and not take any of them up on their offers. Immediately I thought to myself, "It's free, you jackass! Take it!"

But, I thought about the sound of the voice in my head, and it sounded like high-school-me.

I was already having a good time either way. I was out with my friends, some of whom I haven't seen in a while, and I was just content with where I was at that time - catching up about great things, making plans for the weeks to come, and just enjoying the new sh*t that's been happening to all of us.

So content, that I gave up an easy Saturday lay.

Even my friends were telling me that it was almost like I wasn't myself, and that I should go for these girls.

Initially I was inclined to agree with them, because of my, for lack of a better word, training.

But I stuck to my own guns and decided I wanted to stick around my friends - the ones I'd known for more than 10 minutes.

The following morning, which saw me narrowly avoid a hangover, I asked myself whether I was just being a p*ssy, or making excuses.

Maybe I was.

Regardless, I realized that when I asked myself whether I was being a p*ssy, that banging these girls, though it surely would have been enjoyable, wouldn't prove anything about myself that I didn't already know - that I like sex.

So, for possibly the first time in my life since I became aware of my d*ck, I was not swayed by my sex drive to bang for the sake of banging.

I've mentioned before on this board that my sex drive has always been my biggest weakness in terms of prioritizing my life. My id is a horny little grade schooler - he doesn't look out for my best interests because by definition, he can't. He wants tang without regard, and if he sees it in front of him he screams for it. When it's not around, he cries for it. And, like a nagging backseat driver, he's ALWAYS talking to me.

I don't know if I've mentally castrated myself, but I feel genuinely focused on my personal goals for the first time ever. It was a peaceful feeling. One where I feel that I always have the option of pursuing women, rather than the need.

I've started some new pursuits in the last month, and I'm also starting a new book project. That might have something to do with it.

I hope it lasts, because it feels like freedom.

Thoughts?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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loveshogun

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I guess no one here is a philosopher?
 

5string

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Finally! Someone has put himself before the almighty, highly desired and coveted cooch. You just made my day brother. Good for you.
 

randalll

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This has to be a good thing. Start leading your d*ck rather than being dragged along behind it.

loveshogun said:
So, this weekend, I had three different girls, hb7+, throwing themselves at me on the same night. I was just bein' myself, singing songs and havin' drinks with my friends
They picked up on this and that's why they approached. Keep it up!
 

snowdog

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If they were 8's or 9's, would you had went with them? If so, you just have high standards, and that's only a good thing in my book.

Sounds to me that you're living through your core, and that's one of the best things there is. That's why all those monks are meditating all the time. You didn't feel like it, so you didn't do it. Props to you, man.

I sorta feel the same way now, peaceful and I never felt this good in my life. Every time I walk up to a girl now is because I want to do it, not because "I must get laid!11!". I think you and me both are on to something and it's good. Since I have reached this state, I can tell girls, and people altogether, react totally different to me. More open, more positive. I can make people smile just by looking at them.

I can only relate to myself, but I think we're sort of talking about the same thing.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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