This girl wouldnt give the #, but asked for mine.. i gave it.. AFC move?

[D4H]

When I was at the movies i met this girl named Alycia who worked there at the register, pretty damn hot, id say HB8... so i started the convo asking about the prices of popcorn and soda.
The convo went sort of like:

Me: Do you guys have any deals on popcorn with a soda?
Her: Yeah, the #1, for 7.50
Me: lol, you gotta be kidding me... 7.50 for that small thing of popcorn and some soda? (Had her laughing some)
Her: Yeah, i definitely wouldnt buy any either for that price
Me: Did I meet you the last time I came here, you look like someone familiar (I had met 2 girls when I was there a while back, but they had BFs)
Her: Im not sure....
Me: Are you the one that goes to [ insert my college ] and is engaged?
Her: lol i go to that college but im not engaged
Me: Are you the one with the boyfriend?
Her: Nope
Me: Oh ok, so u go to [ my college ] then, are u a freshman, sophmore what?
Her: Freshman
Me: Do you party alot?
Her: Yeah im normally at [ insert names of streets where parties are]
Me: Oh really? I party at those places too, ive never seen u at any though
Her: Oh cool.. i dunno, i havent recognized u either
Me: So whats your name? (I had never gotten it)
Her: *Points to name tag*
Me: lol!! ok yeah, that makes sense... im not paying attention, my names D4H since u asked. (She didnt ask)
Her: OH im so sorry! So rude of me lol!
Me: Its all good, just puttin ya through a lil guilt trip
Me: Well im bout to go catch up with my friends to watch the movie, write your number down so we can hang out sometime
Her: I dont give out my number im sorry.. but here give me yours
Me: lol thats alright, i know how it works.. girls dont call the guy, they just ask for the number so they dont have to give theirs. Do i have CHUMP written across my forehead? lol (I read pimpsicle say this one in a thread about this specifically)
Her: No no no! I actually dont give mine out for personal reasons, ill definitely call you, here let me get a piece of paper and pencil
Me: Alright *gives it to her* [ I figured, what the hell.. if she doesnt call, wutever her loss, if she does.. then its all good ]
Her: So when is your last exam, how long are u going to be here before leaving for winter break (Seemed as if she had mid high IL from asking this)
Me: Well my last exam is on friday so ill be here throughout the week
Her: Ok then, nice meeting you, enjoy the movie


I know that I did a few AFC mistakes like actually not getting her # and giving her mine, also a dumb mistake of asking her name... but other than that, everthing seem to have went alright? Do some girls actually call or this girl most likely is flaking, ill keep it updated, but just wanting some input. Im kinda hooked on this forum.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

AFC move? Not really, more of a rookie mistake. Once you called her on her asking for your number, you needed to stick to your guns. Comes across to her as "He knows what I'm up to, yet he will still have to comply, or loose out."

The reason she gave you that excuse is because it has worked for her many times while she gets approached at her job.

 

[Big Pappy]

For personal reasons....

I've heard that one before...if you see her at the aforementioned party spots, try it again.

Top 10 reasons why she won't give her number:

10. She has no phone
9. She thinks there's something wrong with it because it makes all that noise.
8. She can't remember it.
7. Her control freak boyfriend gets the cell bill.
6. You haven't jumped through the figurative flaming hoop
5. You haven't jumped through the proverbial flaming hoop
4. She only has a precious few minutes per month. You met her when they were all used up.
3. She's a control freak; you wait around for HER to call.
2. She is afraid you won't call
1. She is afraid you WILL call.

 

[Eileen]

Pappy ... you need to add to your list:

She's afraid that whilst you seem perfectly normal now you'll turn into a crazy wanker at midnight.

Girls have to be careful you know. We aren't as big and strong as boys are.

 

[Big Pappy]

A crazy wanker, huh? Pretty funny. But are you girls really worried about that? I can understand the girl working at the movies, (or somewhere else) but what about a pub?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Consider this; would you give a woman the keys because she said that she would come to your house if you gave them to her? So why would you give a woman your telephone number just because she says that she will call?

Any type of relationship (short or long) between two people work best with 'give and take.' However, that doesn't mean that you give away your control so that she can take you for a ride.

 

[Eileen]

Originally posted by Big Pappy
A crazy wanker, huh? Pretty funny. But are you girls really worried about that? I can understand the girl working at the movies, (or somewhere else) but what about a pub?

Yes, we really worry about that kind of thing. We must. More so at a pub than the theatre. (Though, I am assuming that since the girl works at the theatre she's quite young. That also would play part. Wouldn't you agree?)

 

[Eileen]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
However, that doesn't mean that you give away your control so that she can take you for a ride.

Blimey, that silly. Especially when girls are more vulnerable than blokes. Unless said bloke is particularly whimpish.

The reality, gentlemen, is that women will either tele or they won't. Just like you, they sometimes get a number and decide that interest isn't there. If you take it as a personal shot every time a girl isn't interested in you, you're bound to wind up with a bruised ego. If you decide that since she didn't call, she's probably not worth it you'll fair much better.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

D4H: At least give me credit for taking my "Do I have the words CHUMP tattoed across my forehead" line!!! LOL

Bro after you use that line STICK TO IT!!! Two thoughts though. You shouldn't really pick up on girls at work because you'll never know if they REALLY are interested in you because 1) they get paid to be nice 2) they're WORKING!!! I'd say 90% of the time they're just being nice to be nice. The only exceptions to this is if they are OBIVIOUSLY hitting on you and you know your in.

And why did you ask for her name?? I never ask the girl her name. Why? Because if she asks you for your name first you know she's interested, then she'll naturally introduce herself to you. And you shouldn't have asked her ESPECIALLY since she was wearing her fukin' name tag..


Anyways, you got burned on that one, but chalk it up to experience and don't make that mistake twice.



PIMP

 

[D4H]

LOL sorry man, I would have credited you but I did not remember the name of the person who I saw post it. MY BAD, ill edit the post

 

[D4H]

But just so I know for future reference.. my mistake here was not sticking to my guns and not giving her my number? Isnt it better to at least give her the number with the chance she's being honest than just leave knowing for sure you wont get a call?

 

[Walden]

AFC move I printed off yr inital convo tho , a lotta that **** was money.

 

[white_hype]

good job on the approach man

her not giving you her number could have been for a billion of reasons all not about you, who knows? dont even think about it, think of it as a learning expereince

as for her not giving you her number people say you really shouldnt give your number out... and i tend to agree, theres a lot of ways to handle this, but you have to BE CONFIDENT and make heavy EC throughout all of this or you will hurt your chances

examples:

point to paper "just write it down, everything will be OK... its not like im going to call you 8 times a day"

"i dont give out my number... youd probably stalk me or something"

or variations of that

 

[white_hype]

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=44159

this is what you want

 

[squirrels]

There's nothing WRONG with it, but don't expect a phonecall.

When a girl says "I don't give out my number..." you may as well tack the words "...to you." on it. If she was truly interested she would've given you the number. If she was intent on talking to you again, what would be the difference whether you called her or she called you?

You should've turned it right back around in her face...said something like, "No way...the last time I gave a girl my phone number, she was calling like 3 times a day. It got to the point where I had to switch numbers." Then SHE'S the stalker for asking for YOUR number.

Or next time she says, "I don't give out my number, give me yours." Just say, "I don't think so" with a smile. And then END the conversation.

What happened is you made an assertion that you weren't chump enough to give out your number to a girl because you couldn't get hers...and then your ACTIONS went MARKEDLY AGAINST that. You caved. Don't worry, I've made the same mistake, thinking there are exceptions to the rule. There aren't. If she calls, she's damned into you and you need to strike that azz.

EVERYONE has a phone number, and if someone who a person WANTS to talk to again asks for that number, she will GIVE it to him.

 

[D4H]

Yeah good advice man... its really hard to turn down a pretty face when they are smiling at you and sounding so convincing. Next time it happens ill switch it up on her and at least lleave the conversation feeling as though I played her, instead of the other way around. I guess that feeling of hope that she would actually call was just AFC creeping up on me... oh well, im getting better.. just need more practice.

 

[drixsa]

D4H-

the most AFC thing you can do is worry about being AFC

Let me give you all a history lesson:

back in the day, when Anti-Dump posted he felt that if the girl did not give you her number then she was to be NEXT'ed.

He felt this way b/c:

1. Time was too important for him to be wasted letting the woman make the decision

2. becuase he was not just looking for another girl, he was looking for a wife; thus if a girl isn't going to give her number out than she has qualities about her that he did not want a part of and had no interest in even trying to deal with.

If you look at most of the 10 reason stated above the girl would seem to have some issues.

ok, now lets get back on this whole topic of a girl being scared of the guy.

its one thing for a woman to be intimidated by a guy but if she is scared of the guy that is trying to get her number, then your approach is all wrong.

Now D4H i don't know how you are going about your business but you may want to take a look at how you are approaching the conversation if you feel that this is something that is commonly happening to you.

if a girl says to me "i don't give out my number" then my IL tends to drop b/c it starts to get me thinking about possible Red-flags.

though it has never happened to me personally i have seen it happen to friends whom the girl is not interested in and feels that this is the best way without saying "no."

And, i cannot blame them for look at what the female poster said above, their are some stupid guys that go to extreme AFC measures to try and prove a point of "love" which in all logical reality is "obsesssion" and one-sided

 

[D4H]

Im not worried about being AFC, i just make sure to note the AFC things that I did in the past and am still doing, so that i dont make the same mistakes in the future.

 

[uniassign]

I know that I did a few AFC mistakes like actually not getting her # and giving her mine, also a dumb mistake of asking her name... but other than that, everthing seem to have went alright?

Dude, you didn't get the number because you didn't ATTRACT her. You were lumped in the "hit on me whilst I am at work" category.

You had a longer conversation than the average customer. BIG DEAL. It wasn't even a memorable conversation. It wasn't funny, didn't find out any commonality, no rapport or flirting.

You have not demonstrated PERSONALITY. All she has to judge whether she is interested in you is from your LOOKS.

You didn't display any value to her. She has NO REASON to get with you. You didn't intrigue her. She was just being POLITE.