Think I got burnt - Learned my lesson..

[DonutMan]

Went on two great dates with an awesome girl. Got attached way to quickly, I don't think I acted overly needy though. The only negative sign I got from her on the date last Sunday was that she said that she might be to busy to hang out this weekend. At this point I hadn't even asked her to though. So I txt'd twice the next day. Called tonight and left message, no response from call or text. Didn't even call to ask her on a date. Just to see what she was up to. I'm done trying to go after her at least for a couple weeks, unless I hear from her.

The puzzling thing is that on the first date she seemed very happy to be with me and said that she wanted to hang out again soon. She had all these ideas for things to do with me. So, I thought I was golden. Second date we had a real good time, or so I thought. She seemed happy other then saying that she might be to busy this weekend..which is fine, cause I've got **** to do to. We are both in grad school. I think it is possible that I might of offended her cause she told me she wanted to go see the "Benjamin Button" movie and I said I didn't want to cause I had already seen it and it was to long. But after that we were still fine and hung out for a couple more hours. Anyways, next her? or just chill and wait to see if she gets back to me, and call back in a couple weeks?

If I've been burnt...Ive learned my f-in lesson. I would like thoughts, advice, and or motivation to help get me out of a ****ty state of mind.

 

[moto]

wait until she contacts you.

 

[DonutMan]

Yea, youre probably right... Just kind of sucks cause I highly doubt our paths will cross again. We both live in NYC and go to different schools, work different places so not gonna see her again unless she contacts me. Pissed me off that the dates went so well, then this happened.

 

[Jitterbug]

What's your definition of a date that goes well?

There've been countless threads here where guys like you post about how their first couple of dates went SOOOO well then all of a sudden the girls wouldn't want anything to do with them again.

 

[DonutMan]

Although, I think txting after a date is not such a huge sign of weakness. Then after that I figured, well maybe she didnt get the msgs. so I called cause I figured I couldn't know for sure unless i spoke with her. Besides, if I dont call her how am I supposed to get another date?

 

[DonutMan]

What's your definition of a date that goes well?

There've been countless threads here where guys like you post about how their first couple of dates went SOOOO well then all of a sudden the girls wouldn't want anything to do with them again.

Make a good connection, have good conversations, see signs of interest from her, have fun...didn't get physical if thats what your wondering.

 

[Jitterbug]

You went on two dates without getting physical? Didn't go for a kiss even? Did the conversations get flirty, sexual? Was there any sexual tension? If it's a no to all, then that explains why.

This weekend is prime for dating. If she didn't even bother getting back to you during the week and hinted that she's not available this weekend, then sorry mate, she's not that keen.

 

[Ollie]

Make a good connection, have good conversations, see signs of interest from her, have fun...didn't get physical if thats what your wondering.

Making a good connection isn't really what you should be striving for. Yeah, if you're looking for a long term relationships, you need to build rapport and trust and ultimately have a good connection, but when you first start dating a girl you want to create more mystery and excitement than connection. Also, make sure you escalate the conversation to sexual as soon as possible, and don't be afraid to take things to a physical level. If she's into you she'll be all for it, and if she's not, you won't be sitting here hoping she'll call you back, you'll know where you stand. Girls like guys who are unpredictable and aren't afraid to take risks. Assert yourself. Create an air of mystery, build sexual tension, and keep her guessing about how you feel and they'll call you before you get a chance to call them.