Things go well then break up

[becker]

How many of you guys have been in a good relationship (not necessarily a "relationship" in the sense that you're boy-girlfriend, but just even an exclusive dating situation) and then suddenly the gal doesn't want to do it anymore?

I've found that this happens from seeing each other too much. I hate to have to always face this because it's so difficult to gauge. It's probably the one thing I have the worst judgment and it's what usually keeps the relationships I have from lasting.

What experiences have you guys had in terms of this behavior?

 

[ScrewIt]

How many of you guys have been in a good relationship (not necessarily a "relationship" in the sense that you're boy-girlfriend, but just even an exclusive dating situation) and then suddenly the gal doesn't want to do it anymore?

I've found that this happens from seeing each other too much. I hate to have to always face this because it's so difficult to gauge. It's probably the one thing I have the worst judgment and it's what usually keeps the relationships I have from lasting.

What experiences have you guys had in terms of this behavior?

Personally i have been in a similar dilemna myself, where it was that type of rleationship. But the reasons it didnt work out for us was very different.

In the end, maintaining long term attraction in any kind of relationship will always be a challenge.
I too did not notice it was crumbling before it was too late. but i think we all need time to ourselves to just think and learn from the past mistakes. From the beginning till end of the relationship, the good and bad....it's all life's hard learned lessons everyone faces when they stumble into a relationship.

And often times there are also external forces in the environment, which influences someone's behavior/choices (ex: another/better guy, drunk, stress...etc.). All we can do is control our own actions that elicit and reinforce the best responses ffrom a girl.

 

[becker]

Thanks for the feedback, I think the main problem seems to stem from your whole statement about external forces.

My last girl told me she wasn't ready to get into anything, being that she just got out of a LTR a few months or so ago, maybe less, before she met me. That's an external factor and the worst one I've faced since it seems to be the toughest one to overcome.

What were your circumstances as far as why yours didn't last and how was it so different from mine?

 

[becker]

Another thought, is the "breakup" thing a sh*t test? Perhaps she's seeing if you're willling to pursue? But then again, now that I think of it, I doubt it, just a thought. What do you all think?

 

[MetalFortress]

How many of you guys have been in a good relationship (not necessarily a "relationship" in the sense that you're boy-girlfriend, but just even an exclusive dating situation) and then suddenly the gal doesn't want to do it anymore?

I've found that this happens from seeing each other too much. I hate to have to always face this because it's so difficult to gauge. It's probably the one thing I have the worst judgment and it's what usually keeps the relationships I have from lasting.

What experiences have you guys had in terms of this behavior?

This happened once to me. The real cause was that she had a "oneitis" elsewhere, and I wasn't her top guy in her own heart. In the relationship I am now, I am that guy - the "oneitis" who she wished she was with, even when we both had other relationships going. I've been her crush for years, and now I'm her boyfriend.

 

[MetalFortress]

Another thought, is the "breakup" thing a sh*t test? Perhaps she's seeing if you're willling to pursue? But then again, now that I think of it, I doubt it, just a thought. What do you all think?

No, it's not. Any chick who is truly interested in you - in a sense that you are her oneitis - would be scared to death of breaking up with you. If she is with you "just to be with someone" or her IL isn't high enough, she might try it.

 

[becker]

No, it's not. Any chick who is truly interested in you - in a sense that you are her oneitis - would be scared to death of breaking up with you. If she is with you "just to be with someone" or her IL isn't high enough, she might try it.

Good insight, I agree with that in most part. This girl that I'm with right now I saw the other day. She said she didn't want to have sex anymore, but she was ok with hugging and kissing. Just yesterday she gets me in a room and totally made out with me, and she was all over me. But then, today, we had chances to do stuff together but she stopped me (probably because I'm sick with pneumonia) but I think we will probably hook up again.

I'm not sure if I should do that, or if I should just leave things mellow. I feel that she's uncertain as to what she wants, which to me is a red flag. However, I do know that she isn't totally closed off to the idea of being sort of touchy and intimate with me. Just a confusing situation, and I'm not sure how to approach it.