The word "Sweet"

[Rubato]

Does the word "sweet" equilibrate with the word "nice"?

One of my biggest problems in the realm of women has been that prospective girls tend to think of me as "boyfriend material". My wing doesn't think this is a problem, and it hasn't been in the long run - it is in the short run though when you want to have a sex with a girl and she's got this BS idea that if she withholds sex it's somehow going to increase the quality of relationship you have. In the long run, it's not such a big deal because I am usually good at genuinely attracting the girls.

Anyways.

No one ever calls me a "nice guy" but a lot of girls say I am very sweet. And it's always concerned me that the word sweet is just a synonym for the word nice (nice as we would mean it on this forum).

What's the word on the word sweet? Is it a big deal? Or is it something that should indicate you're doing something wrong (like coming on too strong, showing too much interest too soon, ect) or is it something you should take as a legitimate compliment?

 

[perseverance]

Being called nice and sweet isn't a problem in my eyes. You can be a nice person and still score with women. You just have to be a man of respect and value, you have to show that although you are a decent person, you aren't a pushover.

 

[Warrior74]

yah it means nice. no girl i ever slept with used that term towards me. Only girls I never boned.

 

[Racecar]

First of all, I would like to state that your wing is a BRILLIANT, SUAVE and HANDSOME individual!

*Er-hem*

There isn't anything wrong with giving off boyfriend material vibe. It's just a part of who you are. There is an African proverb that says "All five fingers are not created equally." As boyfriend material, you have great long game and poor short game. That may suck for SNLs and ONSs, but once women start looking to settle (25-27), you're at the top of the pecking order.

Now for sweet. Consider the following scale:


1. Douche bag:trouble:
2. Jerk:kick:
3. Edgy :rockon:
4. Balanced :rock:
5. Sweet
6. Nice guy:wave:
7. AFC:flowers:

For the sake of argument, let's assume that we strive for a balanced state. If an action you make is qualified as sweet (5), you need to do something edgy (3) to balance it out. If you show her your nice guy side (6), you must also show her a bit of your jerkiness (2)!

This system allows for recovery should you make a mistake in either direction.

Finally, (and here's the practical application) if she characterizes you as a sweet guy, you might want to come off a little more edgy. Work the jealousy plot lines a bit or negg more.

Sweet actions are OK but a sweet characterization of state presents more of a problem.

 

[Rubato]

First of all, I would like to state that your wing is a BRILLIANT, SUAVE and HANDSOME individual!

*Er-hem*

There isn't anything wrong with giving off boyfriend material vibe. It's just a part of who you are. There is an African proverb that says "All five fingers are not created equally." As boyfriend material, you have great long game and poor short game. That may suck for SNLs and ONSs, but once women start looking to settle (25-27), you're at the top of the pecking order.

Now for sweet. Consider the following scale:


1. Douche bag:trouble:
2. Jerk:kick:
3. Edgy :rockon:
4. Balanced :rock:
5. Sweet
6. Nice guy:wave:
7. AFC:flowers:

For the sake of argument, let's assume that we strive for a balanced state. If an action you make is qualified as sweet (5), you need to do something edgy (3) to balance it out. If you show her your nice guy side (6), you must also show her a bit of your jerkiness (2)!

This system allows for recovery should you make a mistake in either direction.

Finally, (and here's the practical application) if she characterizes you as a sweet guy, you might want to come off a little more edgy. Work the jealousy plot lines a bit or negg more.

Sweet actions are OK but a sweet characterization of state presents more of a problem.

I really like that continuum idea Racecars... now, just like you don't have to teach a child have to be a mean person, I don't think you need to teach a recovery AFC how to be sweet, nice, AFC, or even jerkish or d-bagish. The difficulty for the recovering AFC is how to be "edgy", IMO.

What sorts of suggestions do you have as examples of "edgy" behavior to counterbalance something sweet. You mentioned jealously plotlines and negs, but with the exception of negs, jealously plotlines aren't always something you can just do, unless you have a very dedicated pivot you can call up to be available to you at a whim. And unfortunately I don't have one of those.

Likewise, negs work great when used sparingly and appropriately, but I don't think I need to further develop my ability to neg a girl... if anything, I need to tone it down.

Surely there have to be other "edgy" things a guy can do. My first inclinations on this subject involve sexual escalation. Things like maintaining eye contact longer than is appropriate, being more sexually aggressive with your kisses and touch, ramping up the sexuality of the language you use (rather than saying "i really like that color, it makes you look beautiful" say instead "i really love how sexy you look in that outfit"). Things like that.

 

[fibonacci]

I really like that continuum idea Racecars... now, just like you don't have to teach a child have to be a mean person, I don't think you need to teach a recovery AFC how to be sweet, nice, AFC, or even jerkish or d-bagish. The difficulty for the recovering AFC is how to be "edgy", IMO.

What sorts of suggestions do you have as examples of "edgy" behavior to counterbalance something sweet. You mentioned jealously plotlines and negs, but with the exception of negs, jealously plotlines aren't always something you can just do, unless you have a very dedicated pivot you can call up to be available to you at a whim. And unfortunately I don't have one of those.

Likewise, negs work great when used sparingly and appropriately, but I don't think I need to further develop my ability to neg a girl... if anything, I need to tone it down.

Surely there have to be other "edgy" things a guy can do. My first inclinations on this subject involve sexual escalation. Things like maintaining eye contact longer than is appropriate, being more sexually aggressive with your kisses and touch, ramping up the sexuality of the language you use (rather than saying "i really like that color, it makes you look beautiful" say instead "i really love how sexy you look in that outfit"). Things like that.

...essentially you have to KICK the pedestal you've made from under her...not continue fortifying it. It must be known that she's not exempt from normal human behavior. - "Counterbalance"

- Ease off the compliments. (She's just as much human as you are - her shi& is probly smellier)
- Give wrong where wrong
- Get a life
- GET A LIFE
- If she brings nothing to the table, do not sit.

 

[floydb25]

Depends on the context, and how they act afterwards. If its complimentive in a flirtatious, sexual advansive way, its a good thing. For instance, saying you're cute and sweet, attractive and sweet, and so on - while them showing sexual interest in one form or another. Be it touching, flirting, talking sexually...

Being called nice or sweet isn't the kiss of death at all - UNLESS you're not viewed in a romantic light. Then, they'll just say you're nice. This isn't a non-compliment, or a compliment. Just an easy way of saying they don't care. And it shows by their lack of interest and enthusiasm.

Usually, being sweet and nice isn't nearly as bad as people think it is. It's when that's the ONLY thing you are that causes problems. Women aren't necessarily lying when they say, "you're nice, but...". It's just not enough. You have to also be attractive, exciting, confident, and so forth.

I never had a girl reject me for being too nice. It was always the other things I was lacking, and they even cited them. They all said they loved the kindness. Even being shy didn't turn them off. But, being weak, insecure, asexual, and things like that did.

I think this generalization of being too nice is a cop-out to throw the blame on the other person, and make them look shallow. It's an easy way to justify to yourself without looking inward at all the problems that actually caused the rejection or break up.

 

[perseverance]

Being called nice and sweet isn't a problem in my eyes. You can be a nice person and still score with women. You just have to be a man of respect and value, you have to show that although you are a decent person, you aren't a pushover.

I'd like to retract this statement on the count that I was drunken and clearly typing out of my rectum.