"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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The whole story. Maybe put it to rest?

Giantsfan88

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My old way was to chase girls until I became a beta orbiter and I might have become one of this girl's beta orbiters.

I met her at a music studio that I rehearse at, recognized her buying signals, and number closed.

I shot her a text when I got home that night so she had my number. I texted her a little unnecessary rapport which I wouldn't have done. My last text I answered a question of hers and she ended the conversation there.

Fast forward a week and a half and she texts me "hiya." I managed to set up a date several texts later. We went on the date. She was nervous and so was I but I think I did a good job of masking it. There were some awkward moments but they were overshadowed by intense connection and a first kiss with that spark.

A couple of days later she texts me referencing something I told her about on the date. I set up another one. On this date my style changed and I think I stopped giving her space to qualify herself and put moves on me. I put moves on her but thinking back on it now, I would have let tension linger and let her chase on the date.

A few days pass and no text like after the first date. The euphoria from our make out session wears off and my gut starts talking. I hope it's just my old AFC needy insecurity talking but I don't know.

I text her five days later with some beta a$$ texts. Texts that showed too much interest in her. I didn't send texts like texts about her looks or "I had so much fun let's meet again right now" type of texts but ones that I sense gave too much. The overall text game was mediocre as well.

I told her to come check out my home music studio this Thursday (for no specific time) on Monday and she responds "Oof I wish I could but I'm working at another music studio this Thursday "

I know this means something and it's no good. Her interest level has dropped. My neediness erupted in me and called her a day later to set up the same date. She agrees.

She texts the night before the date with a picture that referenced the thing that reminded me of her that I told her about in my last text opener. That seemed nice. She also mentioned a really bad storm that was supposed to hit the day of the date and that she hopes we can still chill.

The storm hits and I call her and reschedule. I'm thinking that was bad idea and made me a chaser. I rescheduled for a week later at five.

The night before the date I don't get a text like last week. For all I know she forgot about it. But I don't know. I called her the day of the date not to confirm but because I had to change the location anyway. I called like we were on the whole time and she agreed.

She texts a few minutes later asking if we could delay the time and I okayed it with a time I picked. The weather actually does get bad again and she texts asking if we could do it another day. She suggests "Friday or Saturday or if we have to wait, that's fine too."

I texted back ****y funny leaving it at talk to you later. She replies "okay ya boob"

It's been almost a week since then. I'm debating whether I should just wait for her to initiate again or I was planning on setting up another date on Sunday for Wednesday.

I'm trying to get a girlfriend. I'd like it to be her. I think I might I have messed it up by not taking in her interest level enough. Should I let her go or give it another one?

I want help making a decision with this so I can think about it less.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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RangerMIke

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You have the wrong mindset. You are trying to lock her down as a GF. And even if you don't come out and say this she will pick up on this a run.

Call once... make a date set the time of pick up/meet up and then you are done. No need to call or text her anymore. If she flakes... well you know where you stand. Wait a week or two and try again... if she says no without a counter or flakes you should just move on.
 

MillionBillionaire

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Yea she already testing you and borderline disrespecting you. Would she call Tom Cruise a boob? ... she already won the frame battle.

withdraw from her and see what happens.. remember you are the one screening HER... right?

Men.. man the F up and STOP with the beta Azz texts it KILLS attraction.

Sending beta azz texts and then trying to send ****y funny texts will get you weeded out by natural selection.

Hence... ya boob..
 

Giantsfan88

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Especially since when she asked can we do another day, my first response was "My house is warm. It's your call" in reference to the weather. That was probably very beta right?
 

Giantsfan88

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MillionBillionaire said:
Yea she already testing you and borderline disrespecting you. Would she call Tom Cruise a boob? ... she already won the frame battle.

withdraw from her and see what happens.. remember you are the one screening HER... right?

Men.. man the F up and STOP with the beta Azz texts it KILLS attraction.

Sending beta azz texts and then trying to send ****y funny texts will get you weeded out by natural selection.

Hence... ya boob..
I can't believe I got her to disrespect me. She thinks I'm an incongruent, fake loser. What you said is spot on. I failed the test and now it's done. I'll do what you said. She wouldn't call Tom Cruise a boob. She thinks I got no sex appeal...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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