Craig Reeves
Master Don Juan
Hello everybody.
Well I must say that it has been a really long time since I've posted anything here. I've thought about it, but eventually just passed. This time, however, I've decided to contribute my knowledge to this site once again for the tips section.
Approaching women is something that guys have been doing for a very long time. It can be quite difficult to approach women sometimes, but it still has to be done if you expect to have success with dating them.
Where to Meet Women
Before I start, however, most guys tell me that they do not know WHERE to approach women. I don't believe this to be true. Most guys know WHERE to approach women, it's just that they aren't sure if it's a good spot to do it. The deal is.....if you see women that you would like to approach....it's a very good spot. So find you a place where there are a lot of women that you would find interesting around, and you'll know that it is a great spot to meet women. This isn't hard, but it does require a little effort.
Not All Attractive Women Are The Same, So Stop Placing Them On A Pedistal
Now there are many reasons as to why approaching a woman may be difficult. It could be a fear of the unknown - you're not sure if a woman like her would be interested in a guy like you. This, or you do not really believe that a woman like her would be interested in a guy like you. It could be the fact that you feel as if she might feel akward or get offended by your approach, so you feel very apprehensive. All of these problems are related somehow, and it's that most guys see THEMSELVES as the only factor in whether they get the woman or not. The average man would think that if he does not get her, then he MUST not be attractive enough to get her, or he must not be interesting enough, or he must have done something wrong or stupid.
The point is this....if you approach a woman like a sensible and mature man, and she does not respond positively to you, more than likely, it is something BEYOND your control. Basically, it's not YOU, it's HER. Just because one woman doesn't dig you does not at all mean that an even MORE attractive woman wouldn't.
The problem that a lot of guys have is that they base their own opinions of themselves on women's opinions of them. If you were to approach an attractive woman, and she were to say, "You know, you're not cute enough for me. Sorry." more than likely, you would truly BELIEVE that you are not handsome enough to get an attractive woman. You will NOT feel attractive, and you will no longer think of yourself as attractive (usually, until another woman tells you that you are). We tend to follow the belief that an attractive woman's opinion of us is the most accurate.
Because of the fact that they're attractive, and supposedly "know their men", they have the right to draw us up an identity, hand it to us, and we are to carry it around with us for the rest of our lives. This is inadvertanly placing the attractive woman on a pedistal, feeling as if she knows more about you than you know about yourself, that her opinion of you is much more valid than your own, or that of a woman who may not be as attractive.
Women can form opinions of you for many different reasons. NOT ALL ATTRACTIVE WOMEN ARE ALIKE. Not all attractive women like the same things. Not all attractive women look for the same things in a guy. Not all attractive women have the same opinions! Just because one attractive woman doesn't find interest in you doesn't mean that another one will not. Remember that. If you are good with women, you have been rejected before, but don't let that affect your view of yourself.
Just because a woman is attractive does NOT mean that her opinion of you will always be CORRECT. Just because a woman is attractive does NOT mean that she won't find YOU attractive, nor does it mean that she will. That being said, the ONLY way....and I mean the ONLY way that you will be able to tell is if you go right up there and talk to her.
Your Mind Is Much More Important Than Your Mouth
Now let's say that you finally get up the nerve to approach this woman. The first question that comes to your mind, usually, is "what do I say?". For some reason, we tend to focus a lot of attention on what it is we SAY, instead of HOW we say it. Think about it....what's really the most important aspect? Remember back when you were young, and you might have done something wrong to your parents? If you were a good kid, you would say something like, "I'm sorry, mom" or something along those lines. If, however, you said that exact same sentence in a tone that showed a little too much attitude, they'd say something like "Watch your tone, boy!" or something like that. Do you get what I'm saying? It doesn't matter what you say nearly as much as HOW you say it. If you walk up to a woman and you say, "Hey, what's up?" with 3 different attitudes, you are going to get 3 different responses. Just like when you were young, and you said "I'm sorry mom." in 3 different ways, you would have gotten 3 different responses.
So now you ask - "Well what tone should I use with a woman that I'm first approaching, and how do I pull this off if I'm so nervous?"
That's a very good question. We all know that confidence is very important when approaching a female. If you are not confident, the woman will notice it, and will naturally be turned off by it. I mentioned earlier that WHAT you say isn't nearly as important as HOW you say it. If you walk up to an attractive woman and said,
"Hey there, how's it going?" in a manner that displayed a LACK of confidence, this alone would turn her off. Scary, huh? So what can you do if you really ARE nervous and unsure of yourself?
The answer to this goes deeper than what you say or do.....it's how you look at the situation. It's your mindset. It's your belief.
The only surefire way that you are going to be able to correctly approach a woman is if you adopt the correct mindset and attitude of doing it. The trick is to adopt the mindset and belief that not only are YOU interested HER, but SHE's interested in YOU, as well. Most guys treat the woman as if HE's the only one with the interest, and is trying to win HERS. If, however, you start believing that the interest is ALREADY THERE, you will not fall into a trap of needlessly trying to win her approval/interest.
What YOU need to do is to speak and act toward her as if SHE's interested in YOU as well. Now when I say this, I'm not talking at ALL about what you say, I'm only talking about HOW you say it. In fact, you could have the exact same conversation as you normally would with her, but your results will STILL vary
greatly on your attitude, mindset, and belief.
So how do you adopt this mindset and belief? The answer is to practice. The next time you see a woman that you'd like to approach, mentally tell yourself over and over again that she'd probably love to get to know you just as much as you would like to get to know HER. It is proven that the mind can truly only focus on one thing at a time....so if your mind is focusing on the fact that she's just as interested in you as you are her, then you will not be focusing on yourself and whether she would approve of you or not.
If you walked up to a woman and you said, "Hey there, how are you?", with the mindset and belief that SHE's interested in YOU, you're going to come off a LOT differently than if you were to say those same exact words with the mindset and belief that YOU'RE trying to win HER approval, yet SHE isn't trying to win YOURS.
Your comfort level when talking to a woman will increase greatly if you start thinking this way, because you will no longer feel as if all of the pressure is on you, nor will you be trying to fight so hard for something (her interest) that you already have.
Her Interest Level Is Always Uncertain Unless Proven Otherwise
Now there's one more thing that I want to touch on....
A woman's interest level is invisible unless she proves otherwise with LOGICAL, TANGIBLE, PROOF. And when I say, LOGICAL, TANGIBLE, PROOF, I'm talking about something that proves beyond shadow of a doubt that you do not have a chance with her (boyfriend, married, gay, or she says she's not interested in you).
A woman can flirt with you, touch on you, and laugh at every one of your jokes and NOT be interested in you. Sure, you could come up with a good ASSUMPTION that she MIGHT be interested in you, but you can never really ever tell if she actually IS interested in you, unless she proves this by either asking you out, or telling you herself.
HOWEVER, a woman can do NONE of these things, and STILL be interested in you. She could be head over heels for you and never even show it. She could be dreaming about you, and never even mention it, flirt with you, touch you, or smile at you.
So what do you do? DON'T WORRY ABOUT. If you find yourself interested in a woman, you need to do something about it. I don't care how interested she may SEEM to be in you. Women show interest in all sorts of different ways. Some women flirt and touch on every guy they meet....yet some women.....no matter how interested they may be (or not be) treat every guy they meet the exact same way.
In a nutshell, go after what you want and think positively.
God Bless,
Craig Reeves
Well I must say that it has been a really long time since I've posted anything here. I've thought about it, but eventually just passed. This time, however, I've decided to contribute my knowledge to this site once again for the tips section.
Approaching women is something that guys have been doing for a very long time. It can be quite difficult to approach women sometimes, but it still has to be done if you expect to have success with dating them.
Where to Meet Women
Before I start, however, most guys tell me that they do not know WHERE to approach women. I don't believe this to be true. Most guys know WHERE to approach women, it's just that they aren't sure if it's a good spot to do it. The deal is.....if you see women that you would like to approach....it's a very good spot. So find you a place where there are a lot of women that you would find interesting around, and you'll know that it is a great spot to meet women. This isn't hard, but it does require a little effort.
Not All Attractive Women Are The Same, So Stop Placing Them On A Pedistal
Now there are many reasons as to why approaching a woman may be difficult. It could be a fear of the unknown - you're not sure if a woman like her would be interested in a guy like you. This, or you do not really believe that a woman like her would be interested in a guy like you. It could be the fact that you feel as if she might feel akward or get offended by your approach, so you feel very apprehensive. All of these problems are related somehow, and it's that most guys see THEMSELVES as the only factor in whether they get the woman or not. The average man would think that if he does not get her, then he MUST not be attractive enough to get her, or he must not be interesting enough, or he must have done something wrong or stupid.
The point is this....if you approach a woman like a sensible and mature man, and she does not respond positively to you, more than likely, it is something BEYOND your control. Basically, it's not YOU, it's HER. Just because one woman doesn't dig you does not at all mean that an even MORE attractive woman wouldn't.
The problem that a lot of guys have is that they base their own opinions of themselves on women's opinions of them. If you were to approach an attractive woman, and she were to say, "You know, you're not cute enough for me. Sorry." more than likely, you would truly BELIEVE that you are not handsome enough to get an attractive woman. You will NOT feel attractive, and you will no longer think of yourself as attractive (usually, until another woman tells you that you are). We tend to follow the belief that an attractive woman's opinion of us is the most accurate.
Because of the fact that they're attractive, and supposedly "know their men", they have the right to draw us up an identity, hand it to us, and we are to carry it around with us for the rest of our lives. This is inadvertanly placing the attractive woman on a pedistal, feeling as if she knows more about you than you know about yourself, that her opinion of you is much more valid than your own, or that of a woman who may not be as attractive.
Women can form opinions of you for many different reasons. NOT ALL ATTRACTIVE WOMEN ARE ALIKE. Not all attractive women like the same things. Not all attractive women look for the same things in a guy. Not all attractive women have the same opinions! Just because one attractive woman doesn't find interest in you doesn't mean that another one will not. Remember that. If you are good with women, you have been rejected before, but don't let that affect your view of yourself.
Just because a woman is attractive does NOT mean that her opinion of you will always be CORRECT. Just because a woman is attractive does NOT mean that she won't find YOU attractive, nor does it mean that she will. That being said, the ONLY way....and I mean the ONLY way that you will be able to tell is if you go right up there and talk to her.
Your Mind Is Much More Important Than Your Mouth
Now let's say that you finally get up the nerve to approach this woman. The first question that comes to your mind, usually, is "what do I say?". For some reason, we tend to focus a lot of attention on what it is we SAY, instead of HOW we say it. Think about it....what's really the most important aspect? Remember back when you were young, and you might have done something wrong to your parents? If you were a good kid, you would say something like, "I'm sorry, mom" or something along those lines. If, however, you said that exact same sentence in a tone that showed a little too much attitude, they'd say something like "Watch your tone, boy!" or something like that. Do you get what I'm saying? It doesn't matter what you say nearly as much as HOW you say it. If you walk up to a woman and you say, "Hey, what's up?" with 3 different attitudes, you are going to get 3 different responses. Just like when you were young, and you said "I'm sorry mom." in 3 different ways, you would have gotten 3 different responses.
So now you ask - "Well what tone should I use with a woman that I'm first approaching, and how do I pull this off if I'm so nervous?"
That's a very good question. We all know that confidence is very important when approaching a female. If you are not confident, the woman will notice it, and will naturally be turned off by it. I mentioned earlier that WHAT you say isn't nearly as important as HOW you say it. If you walk up to an attractive woman and said,
"Hey there, how's it going?" in a manner that displayed a LACK of confidence, this alone would turn her off. Scary, huh? So what can you do if you really ARE nervous and unsure of yourself?
The answer to this goes deeper than what you say or do.....it's how you look at the situation. It's your mindset. It's your belief.
The only surefire way that you are going to be able to correctly approach a woman is if you adopt the correct mindset and attitude of doing it. The trick is to adopt the mindset and belief that not only are YOU interested HER, but SHE's interested in YOU, as well. Most guys treat the woman as if HE's the only one with the interest, and is trying to win HERS. If, however, you start believing that the interest is ALREADY THERE, you will not fall into a trap of needlessly trying to win her approval/interest.
What YOU need to do is to speak and act toward her as if SHE's interested in YOU as well. Now when I say this, I'm not talking at ALL about what you say, I'm only talking about HOW you say it. In fact, you could have the exact same conversation as you normally would with her, but your results will STILL vary
greatly on your attitude, mindset, and belief.
So how do you adopt this mindset and belief? The answer is to practice. The next time you see a woman that you'd like to approach, mentally tell yourself over and over again that she'd probably love to get to know you just as much as you would like to get to know HER. It is proven that the mind can truly only focus on one thing at a time....so if your mind is focusing on the fact that she's just as interested in you as you are her, then you will not be focusing on yourself and whether she would approve of you or not.
If you walked up to a woman and you said, "Hey there, how are you?", with the mindset and belief that SHE's interested in YOU, you're going to come off a LOT differently than if you were to say those same exact words with the mindset and belief that YOU'RE trying to win HER approval, yet SHE isn't trying to win YOURS.
Your comfort level when talking to a woman will increase greatly if you start thinking this way, because you will no longer feel as if all of the pressure is on you, nor will you be trying to fight so hard for something (her interest) that you already have.
Her Interest Level Is Always Uncertain Unless Proven Otherwise
Now there's one more thing that I want to touch on....
A woman's interest level is invisible unless she proves otherwise with LOGICAL, TANGIBLE, PROOF. And when I say, LOGICAL, TANGIBLE, PROOF, I'm talking about something that proves beyond shadow of a doubt that you do not have a chance with her (boyfriend, married, gay, or she says she's not interested in you).
A woman can flirt with you, touch on you, and laugh at every one of your jokes and NOT be interested in you. Sure, you could come up with a good ASSUMPTION that she MIGHT be interested in you, but you can never really ever tell if she actually IS interested in you, unless she proves this by either asking you out, or telling you herself.
HOWEVER, a woman can do NONE of these things, and STILL be interested in you. She could be head over heels for you and never even show it. She could be dreaming about you, and never even mention it, flirt with you, touch you, or smile at you.
So what do you do? DON'T WORRY ABOUT. If you find yourself interested in a woman, you need to do something about it. I don't care how interested she may SEEM to be in you. Women show interest in all sorts of different ways. Some women flirt and touch on every guy they meet....yet some women.....no matter how interested they may be (or not be) treat every guy they meet the exact same way.
In a nutshell, go after what you want and think positively.
God Bless,
Craig Reeves
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