First, a little background info:
For those of you who don't know, "choking" is a term that is used in sports. Some athletes start taking so much pressure before a big competition that their performance suffers. They get so anxious that they partially lose the control of their body and mind; this is known as "choking". I'm sure all athletes have at least in some point of their life noticed how they often perform better during practice than during the competition itself.
What made me originally think about the connection between sports-choking and DJ'ing (and other personal growth) was philosophist and psychologist Tommy Hellsten, who has written books about how we create protection walls within our mind, and within our character. We build these "walls" in our minds to protect us, but sooner or later they start suffocating us. They destroy our capability to be who we are, and who we are supposed to be.
"Holy shyte", I told myself when first reading about this. I realized that "choking" that happens in sports happens in real life as well: we suffocate our abilities to just be ourselves! We get anxious and nervous in places we don't want to get nervous.
Notice at this point that when I speak of "choking", I don't mean just slight nervousness. I mean the anxiety that follows when you're unable to be yourself; when you're so anxious that both your mind and your body recognize it and won't let you perform with your "normal" standart. When you are so anxious that you actually suffer from it.
How to get over choking?
Reading Hellsten's philosophies was inspiring, but the TRUE enlightenment came to me a few days ago. I was surfing in the net and from Selfhelp Magazine I found an article written by Kaori Araki. I realized something that I now want to share with you.
You see, Kaori Araki wrote six short and simple tips of how to get over choking in sports. And... well, every single one of these advices work not only in sports, but also in real life - and I think that they also fit the DJ scene incredibly well. Take a look:
It doesn't matter what you do, if you have no idea why you are doing it, or to who you are doing it. Some people might think that Sosuave.com is God's gift to mankind, or that it is an endless source of understanding and happiness. But I disagree. Reading all these texts will not make a man any more happier if he doesn't read them for the right reasons. Self-improvement will not make a man happier if he does that to please other people! Many of the older DJ's might remember people like Bashful, Sixpak GQ and John. Perfect examples of how you will not become happy in life only by being in this site. And if you don't feel happy right now despite all the self-improvement you might have had because of your new DJ'ing abilities - perhaps you should take a good look at your motives. "Success" is equal to "happiness" only if you know what you're doing and why you're doing - that's when you know wether or not you're doing the thing that is good for you.
Same applies in sports. Anyone knows John Kordic? A professional hockey player who made it to the NHL. He was a tough-face who was fighting in the ice - and who made a lot of money from it. A succesful athlete indeed! But people who knew him considered him to be a person who didn't quite know what he wanted. And his end was tragic. He went berserk on drugs, police came to arrest him - and after being knocked down, John Kordic started to bleed badly. He was taken to a hospital where the doctors diagnosed him to be dead. That happened back in 1992, if I remember correctly.
Don't let this happen to you. If there are DJ's among us (and I'm pretty sure that there are) who don't really feel that happy about their lives, I strongly suggest you think about your motives very carefully.
Well, that's the point! The protection walls that enchain our minds are broken one part by one - by doing the thing that you are a bit afraid to do. Then it will be easier to transfer into more frightening stuff. You've been here for a month? Take it easy, you aren't a slow loser only because you are not approaching the best-looking women just yet. You see, when you don't take pressure from performing, you won't be trying stuff that scares you too much. This is basically the reason why I don't like "just do it" -type of posts: sometimes your mind just won't let you do it! If you take pressure from it, you will actually end up doing worse. You will end up choking your own performance!
Think about a newbie who never really speaks to women (like I was
). You except him to go and ask the phone number of the hottest babe around? Sure, that would be great - but the problem is that he won't do it, no matter how much he would want to. Why? Because it goes against his personality and character! He gets nervous, and thus, he fails.
The option for the chump is to start off by doing something easier; like having small-talk, maybe even neg-hits. He might not #-close at the first time, but at least the newbie will feel VERY good after truly starting to improve himself!
As I've said many, many times before, improving your character is a slow process. I believe that becoming a DJ in six months is better than becoming a DJ in six weeks - altough still you won't be the best possible kind of DJ there is. Why? Because from the beginning to the end, we are setting goals to ourselves that are "attainable yet challenging", wether we are good DJ's or newbs.
For example: when I was an AFC and did things that really scared me (like approaching women), I would repeat Pook's words in my mind: "I am the great catch. I am the prize to be won." It didn't completely remove my nervousness, but it helped me enough to do the things that would maybe have otherweise scared me too much at the time.
Anyway, this is the thing what I do: I go out and just walk around, thinking about the environment around me. I don't think it would work for everybody, but for some reason I feel extremely relaxed and happy when I do this.
The reason why listening to music is good is because it doesn't really require any skill. All you have to do is to concentrate on the music that makes you feel good and relaxed. But of course, anything that will help you control your negative thoughts will do.
The epilogue: there's still something to say
With these six tips you can prevent choking on sports, like Kaori Araki said. And I believe that these tips also apply to DJ'ing, because the reasons for choking are the same; taking pressure from your performance.
But I also believe that there's more to it than that!
Because we also create sufficating protection walls in other areas of life as well, now don't we?! We take pressure from different things; I, for example, am sometimes nervous before a big exam - even so much that it might lower my performance. Someone else might choke himself in his working place: psychologists say that it is even more common than expected to have this strange need to perform your job better and thus creating yourself a lot of stress - and in the end, you'll end up doing worse job than you originally would have done!
Whatever it is that sufficates you, whatever it is that makes you take pressures, try to keep in mind these 6 tips (a little modified, as you can see):
1. Perform for yourself rather than attempting to please others
2. Set your own realistic goals that are attainable yet challenging
3. Use imagery to review strategy and technique
4. Use positive self-talk
5. Practice deep muscle relaxation exercises or meditation
6. Maintain focus by controlling negative thoughts
Or is that too many things to remember? Fine, then at least try to remember this one thing that sums it all up pretty nicely (for some reason my tips always come down to this): Don't take it as a competition!
For those of you who don't know, "choking" is a term that is used in sports. Some athletes start taking so much pressure before a big competition that their performance suffers. They get so anxious that they partially lose the control of their body and mind; this is known as "choking". I'm sure all athletes have at least in some point of their life noticed how they often perform better during practice than during the competition itself.
What made me originally think about the connection between sports-choking and DJ'ing (and other personal growth) was philosophist and psychologist Tommy Hellsten, who has written books about how we create protection walls within our mind, and within our character. We build these "walls" in our minds to protect us, but sooner or later they start suffocating us. They destroy our capability to be who we are, and who we are supposed to be.
"Holy shyte", I told myself when first reading about this. I realized that "choking" that happens in sports happens in real life as well: we suffocate our abilities to just be ourselves! We get anxious and nervous in places we don't want to get nervous.
Notice at this point that when I speak of "choking", I don't mean just slight nervousness. I mean the anxiety that follows when you're unable to be yourself; when you're so anxious that both your mind and your body recognize it and won't let you perform with your "normal" standart. When you are so anxious that you actually suffer from it.
How to get over choking?
Reading Hellsten's philosophies was inspiring, but the TRUE enlightenment came to me a few days ago. I was surfing in the net and from Selfhelp Magazine I found an article written by Kaori Araki. I realized something that I now want to share with you.
You see, Kaori Araki wrote six short and simple tips of how to get over choking in sports. And... well, every single one of these advices work not only in sports, but also in real life - and I think that they also fit the DJ scene incredibly well. Take a look:
Many professional athletes have said that this must be understood in order to reach the top. And I'm quite confident that the same applies in DJ'ing as well.
It doesn't matter what you do, if you have no idea why you are doing it, or to who you are doing it. Some people might think that Sosuave.com is God's gift to mankind, or that it is an endless source of understanding and happiness. But I disagree. Reading all these texts will not make a man any more happier if he doesn't read them for the right reasons. Self-improvement will not make a man happier if he does that to please other people! Many of the older DJ's might remember people like Bashful, Sixpak GQ and John. Perfect examples of how you will not become happy in life only by being in this site. And if you don't feel happy right now despite all the self-improvement you might have had because of your new DJ'ing abilities - perhaps you should take a good look at your motives. "Success" is equal to "happiness" only if you know what you're doing and why you're doing - that's when you know wether or not you're doing the thing that is good for you.
Same applies in sports. Anyone knows John Kordic? A professional hockey player who made it to the NHL. He was a tough-face who was fighting in the ice - and who made a lot of money from it. A succesful athlete indeed! But people who knew him considered him to be a person who didn't quite know what he wanted. And his end was tragic. He went berserk on drugs, police came to arrest him - and after being knocked down, John Kordic started to bleed badly. He was taken to a hospital where the doctors diagnosed him to be dead. That happened back in 1992, if I remember correctly.
Don't let this happen to you. If there are DJ's among us (and I'm pretty sure that there are) who don't really feel that happy about their lives, I strongly suggest you think about your motives very carefully.
I've seen many newbies who've been around maybe for a month or two, wondering why approaching good-looking women still intimidates them.
Well, that's the point! The protection walls that enchain our minds are broken one part by one - by doing the thing that you are a bit afraid to do. Then it will be easier to transfer into more frightening stuff. You've been here for a month? Take it easy, you aren't a slow loser only because you are not approaching the best-looking women just yet. You see, when you don't take pressure from performing, you won't be trying stuff that scares you too much. This is basically the reason why I don't like "just do it" -type of posts: sometimes your mind just won't let you do it! If you take pressure from it, you will actually end up doing worse. You will end up choking your own performance!
Think about a newbie who never really speaks to women (like I was
). You except him to go and ask the phone number of the hottest babe around? Sure, that would be great - but the problem is that he won't do it, no matter how much he would want to. Why? Because it goes against his personality and character! He gets nervous, and thus, he fails.The option for the chump is to start off by doing something easier; like having small-talk, maybe even neg-hits. He might not #-close at the first time, but at least the newbie will feel VERY good after truly starting to improve himself!
As I've said many, many times before, improving your character is a slow process. I believe that becoming a DJ in six months is better than becoming a DJ in six weeks - altough still you won't be the best possible kind of DJ there is. Why? Because from the beginning to the end, we are setting goals to ourselves that are "attainable yet challenging", wether we are good DJ's or newbs.
Well, as someone said: the difference between an AFC and a DJ is that a DJ has a plan. A DJ follows the basic techniques that are taught here because he wants to get the woman's interrest level high. He doesn't want that because he's manipulative, he simply wants to have the best possible chance with this woman. And the more success he gets with his techniques, the less awkward he will feel. I'm telling you, practicing the DJ techniques is propably the best way to prevent choking!
I can tell you that this is a good trick wether you want to go through the big sporting event that scares you or keep a presentation. The way to get over the anxiousness is to find the right mantra that you keep on telling to yourself.
For example: when I was an AFC and did things that really scared me (like approaching women), I would repeat Pook's words in my mind: "I am the great catch. I am the prize to be won." It didn't completely remove my nervousness, but it helped me enough to do the things that would maybe have otherweise scared me too much at the time.
What can I say? When you relax your body and mind, the level of anxiety will naturally decrease! Unfortunately I'm really not an expert on this - perhaps someone else might post their experiences and good advices on this?
Anyway, this is the thing what I do: I go out and just walk around, thinking about the environment around me. I don't think it would work for everybody, but for some reason I feel extremely relaxed and happy when I do this.
It doesn't have to be music. You can do anything that makes you feel good when you concentrate on doing it. Like painting, for example.
The reason why listening to music is good is because it doesn't really require any skill. All you have to do is to concentrate on the music that makes you feel good and relaxed. But of course, anything that will help you control your negative thoughts will do.
The epilogue: there's still something to say
With these six tips you can prevent choking on sports, like Kaori Araki said. And I believe that these tips also apply to DJ'ing, because the reasons for choking are the same; taking pressure from your performance.
But I also believe that there's more to it than that!
Because we also create sufficating protection walls in other areas of life as well, now don't we?! We take pressure from different things; I, for example, am sometimes nervous before a big exam - even so much that it might lower my performance. Someone else might choke himself in his working place: psychologists say that it is even more common than expected to have this strange need to perform your job better and thus creating yourself a lot of stress - and in the end, you'll end up doing worse job than you originally would have done!
Whatever it is that sufficates you, whatever it is that makes you take pressures, try to keep in mind these 6 tips (a little modified, as you can see):
1. Perform for yourself rather than attempting to please others
2. Set your own realistic goals that are attainable yet challenging
3. Use imagery to review strategy and technique
4. Use positive self-talk
5. Practice deep muscle relaxation exercises or meditation
6. Maintain focus by controlling negative thoughts
Or is that too many things to remember? Fine, then at least try to remember this one thing that sums it all up pretty nicely (for some reason my tips always come down to this
): Don't take it as a competition!
