The Persistant Guy Advocate

[Anargyros]

WARNING:

If you are a recovering AFC, don't pay attention to this post. There are way more experienced guys out there that WON'T AGREE with this. It's the logical thing to do to pay attention to them and not to me.
This post is for guys that are more interested in getting a girlfriend than getting laid.​

This is a fact: some guys get emotionally involved with chicks that they don't even get to know well - and they get rejected.

Others entered into a relationship in alpha mode, then ended up being dumped and with a severe heartache/oneitis.

The community advice is always the same: delete her number, move on, she is lost, NEXT.

There is no doubt that this is a bad scenario - showing high interest to an already uninterested girl will most likely push her away, so you are trapped. You just can't win. However, some guys keep trying. They enter into a beta behavior, maybe buying her flowers, or giving her compliments... maybe being her emotional tampon. Now here is an interesting fact that requires further analysis: some guys, a minority, actually GET the girl. If we were talking science, this simple fact would be a major flaw in PUA's theory.

The community explanation is that after taking many avenues, they decide to "settle down" with their beta orbiter. Her first choice, probably some bada$$ Brad Pitt alike alpha male, is out of her league. Her second choice is another alpha male she fuc'd that didn't want any commitment. So she settles with her 8th choice, the persistant-almost-stalker guy that's always there for her like a beta chump.................. this is bad, bad, terrible.

SO WHAT?.

I'd take Olivia Wilde over any girl. I might enter into a LTR with some girl, but that's because I can't get Olivia Wilde FIRST. So my LTR would be my second choice.
Actually maybe there are dozens of chicks I'd pick first. Models, singers. Maybe this chick is not as good as an ex of mine.

Still, the opposite would hurt the alpha men egos. "Oh no, I have to be THE ONE". Well, you can't. She'd marry George Clooney if she could.

So, let's go back to this persistant beta chump the girl settled with. Let's say he was her 8th choice. Was he her ONLY choice? No, she probably had a 9th, 10th and 30th choice, but this guy had one thing better: PERSISTENCE.

Persistence should be categorized as an alpha trait. It's not as good as game, looks, and money. But I believe it's still a good asset. And if you like this one girl you can't get, your only chance is not to "disappear" or "go NC" (she will forget about you in a blink) but to keep trying. Do not stalk her though, but keep trying.

Is it rational?. ABSOLUTELY NOT, it's not worth to live in pain when your chances of getting what you want are unclear. However, those of us that suffered oneitis, know that once you went through it a couple of times, it's manageable enough so you can live with it, move forward with your life and keep spinning plates.

This post is going to be bashed but I don't care.

 

[Evan]

One thing all women want is to be desired. Even by beta males. They just don't want some creep who is going to chop her head off if she doesn't feel mutual attraction. So unfortunately they have to reject guys harshly.

But men who show persistence can be attractive if they do it the right way.A man who can respect her, let her walk away but still desires her and isn't afraid to show it, is attractive because he shows that he wants her but doesn't need her. Men who beg and crumble at the sign of her not being attractive to him is the most unattractive thing. Men who smile at her rejection, meet another women who is more attracted to him and still shows that first girl who walked away that he still desires her still has a chance. Because she knows that he is an attractive man who desires her but doesn't need her. That is alpha.

 

[pyros]

I think this is stupid.

Just because you are persistent for a couple of months or years does not make her see you as high value. She did not want to date you because she did not feel attracted to you, in other words, she saw you as a low value guy.

SO after a couple of relationships that went nowhere with some alpha guys she desired now she's all alone, and after your persistence and the fact that she could not get any of the guys she fuc-ked, now she prefers to settle with you. Great!
Now you're in a relationship where the dynamic is this:
- she sees you as a low value guy, and you see her as a golden queen.

Who do you think will control the frame here...? who do you think is more likely to cheat here? who do you think is not gonna treat the other very well? who do you think is gonna make stupid demands, give attitude etc?

Yes, we've all heard a story in which a guy persisted for years and finally married the girl he really wanted, but...9 out of 10 times this guy is gonna be powerless in that relationship, ie, a wuss. And he would be way happier with a girl that was actually attracted to him from the begining and saw him as a high value guy.

 

[Anargyros]

But men who show persistence can be attractive if they do it the right way.A man who can respect her, let her walk away but still desires her and isn't afraid to show it, is attractive because he shows that he wants her but doesn't need her. Men who beg and crumble at the sign of her not being attractive to him is the most unattractive thing. Men who smile at her rejection, meet another women who is more attracted to him and still shows that first girl who walked away that he still desires her still has a chance. Because she knows that he is an attractive man who desires her but doesn't need her. That is alpha.

Who do you think will control the frame here...? who do you think is more likely to cheat here? who do you think is not gonna treat the other very well? who do you think is gonna make stupid demands, give attitude etc?

I think Evan's post pictures it neatly - there's an alpha way of being persistent. If you become a pathetic supplicant beggar, then she won't respect you. However, if you keep showing little amounts of interest over time without being invasive, and showing her all the time that you ACKNOWLEDGE (not in an explicit way, obviously) the fact that she doesn't seem to be interested but still are confident that you are somehow worthy for her, well I think you're scoring points not losing them.

 

[Huffman]

It's easy. Being Persistent is the opposite of going NC.

You can only go NC if you've already hooked her. Then she will follow after you.

If not, then she's not hooked. Then you have two options:
a) go NC: she will forget you
b) be persistent: you might get a second chance.

My rule of thumb is: if I haven't really hooked her already I won't play NC games. Girls have really crazy behaviour sometimes. You never know what trying again might get you. Don't let your pride get in the way of calling her a 2nd time.

 

[El Payaso]

Like all things in life, persistence is situational.

Personally, I would never be persistent. There are way too many women out in the world for me to get hung up over one woman. Maybe back in my AFC days but not anymore.

 

[GS750]

Nope I no longer chase. Done it in the past but I think my time is better spent finding a new interested chick. I'll walk away if I feel interest isn't mutual. To each their own I guess.