The IDEAL Boyfriend.

[Rogerman]

I think, i've been with alot of relationships to understant one basic thing. If you have a stability of your character, nothing can go wrong. That character must have several factors that will make the most of your relationship.

This is my list.

How he sees any relationship he creates.

- Enjoy it while it lasts, enjoy each moment.

- Doesnt owe her anything.

- Power of Detachment.

- His girlfriend is not his centre of the world. He has other things to do.

What is the principles of this relationship.

- Zero tolerance of Cheating. Zero. He makes sure she knows it from day one.

- Suspection of cheating is not cheating until proven that it is, with absolute facts and not self imagination.

- If she's a wh0re, she will prove it sooner or later, he knows that for a fact.

- Give her a certain percentage of trust , which will grow as time passes. Never 100%. Only gives that to himself.

- Does not have alot of tolerance of bullshyt, bad behavior, and immaturity.

- Jealousy for him has damageable effects in any of his relationships. For him , Jealousy is a female charactiristic not his.

How he sees himself in this relationship.

- His girlfriend level is never above him.

- He is the dominant male. He is the MAN in the relationship. He is the first to lead. He has the power to take decisions.

- Independent

- Protects his heart , from getting too emotional attached. Which will certainly lead to disaster.

- Can always walk away.

His reactions towards his girl.

- Does not *need* her.

- Affectionate when she's affectionate.

- Loving when she's loving.

- Give attention when she needs it.

- Not giving attention when she wants it.

- Not over-analytical.

- Never becomes too confortable with his relationship. There is a reason why she fell for him, and does not stop making the things that made her fall for him.

- Ability to give her space. Allow her to go out/be herself.

- Her emotions and needs are not changing his senses and logic.

 

[diablo]

Good. Now that you've made the list, go be/do all of the things you've just said.

 

[Kaine]

Excellent list, you verbalise everything I am at the moment

Kudos

Kaine

 

[DrSoSuave]

I agree with most of what you just stated in this post except for the following:

- His girlfriend level is never above him.

Vague statement.

- He is the dominant male. He is the MAN in the relationship. He is the first to lead. He is who takes the decisions.

There are people who have independent minds such as me who would not prefer the company of a person that is restrictive or not open to alternative choices.

- Affectionate when she's affectionate.

How about being affectionate whenever you feel like it?

- Not giving attention when she wants it.

Vague statement.

- Not over-analytical.

If you're an analytical kinda person, then let it be so. There's a difference between being obsessive about something and knowing there's a limit.

 

[Rogerman]

DrSoSuave, thats why i said "This is my list: "

The above list is made by me. The statements that you may find vague are those that i feel i need to have in a relationship. You may think somebody will do it to the extremes, which is bad, but it is nevertheless -good to think about them.

"- His girlfriend level is never above him." Vague statement

Oh...im sorry, i meant any women is never above him

 

[Kaine]

Let me clarify these general points from my point of view for the benefit of others::


>.His girlfriend level is never above him.
You are always number one, do not sell your house to buy her a Mercedes on valentines day, you do not sacrifice your boys night because she needs a hug from you tonight. Your needs are not to be neglected over her wants.


>. He is the dominant male. He is the MAN in the relationship. He is the first to lead. He is who takes the decisions
A normal women with high il will expect you to lead and be decisive the majority of the time. Even if the girl by day is a president of some organisation don't be surprised if she often asks you "what are we going to do?" on dates and say"I don't mind, what do you want" when you ask for suggestions. This can be done in non controlling way, it is ok to ask for suggestions but you make the decision without stuffing around.


>. Affectionate when she's affectionate.
Only give affection when it is deserved and reciprocal


>.Not giving attention when she wants it.
Be selective of your attention. That is her reward. You are not an attention dispensing machine.


>.Not over-analytical.
Don't put her every behaviour under the microscope. What did she mean in that txt? Why didn't she call me when said she would? etc.


Kaine

 

[Rogerman]

Kaine, excellent remarks.

Good clarification