The idea of being over-optimistic

[tactic]

Recently, i have learned that the more you are optimistic, the more luck you will have with women. When i mean optimistic, i mean having fun and laughing with others and then thinking/believing to yourself.. "man they like me" when they really don't. Is this true?

 

[JonJack]

Picture yourself meeting someone (girl or guy) for the very first time. They are overly optimistic (in your words). How would you respond to them? How comfortable will you be with them? And how much will you enjoy the time you spent with them?

If you respond positively to it, other people will generally respond positively to it too.

However, when you talk about being optimistic when a person doesn't feel that way, it's kind of a sad situation to be talking about. People like this will probably be derpressed. And when other people actually find out how shytty the person's life is, they'll get more pity instead of care. Better to fix the pessimistic state of mind first instead of put up an act.

 

[arutha]

If you're trying to think I'll pretend they like me when they don't, it simply won't work because the doubt is still there in your mind.

You need to fully have the opinion that they like whatever you are doing, don't try to force it on yourself. I think it is a bit about making genuine confidnce in your words and actions, so yes it does work.

 

[tactic]

The thing is, the person being optimistic does not know what the other person feels.

 

[JonJack]

Originally posted by tactic
The thing is, the person being optimistic does not know what the other person feels.

That's why I asked you to picture yourself as being the person who encounters an optimistic person. Imagine how you feel and that is what people would feel in general, unless of course you're some weirdo with screwed up social skills.

Empathy is a really good method of understanding human behaviour. Try it.