The girl behind the counter: Any Tips, tactics and advice

[mateo_g]

Let me start off by saying that I'm not a club-type guy, so I've focused my energy into improving the street/store/que approach. It has been a tough road and I'm far from what you'd call a DJ - but I must admit I'm really having fun and getting some success.

So my latest goal is getting phone numbers and dates on the spot with girls working the counter or sales desk. I have found it rather easy to read them right off the bat and they really can't run away when you turn up the heat . Many times you may get a girl who is in a bad mood, but more often than not they are bored out of their minds.

Here is one such approach from Monday that worked, but I'd really like to get folks thoughts on what they find works and doesn't work for DJ'n a girl that is working.

I was at a local drug store to get some pictures developed when I noticed salesgirl HB 7.5 (easily an 8 if she was not in her work cloathes and did her hair I'd wager) standing at the main counter. I made eye contact and got a smile. It clicked in my mind "that is your signal, go in!" and I shrugged off the AFC voice in my mind saying "she isn't going to like you".

I walk right up to her with just the hint of a grin and say "HBSalesgirl, I have a question, perhaps you can help?" (name tags are useful as hell - it almost makes them feel they know you). Eye contact is still there - but to her I'm just another customer about to ask her what isle the toothpaste is on.

"Sure, how can I help you?" was her reply.

So I stood there, looking right into her eyes and just kinda grinned to guage her reaction. I would have crumbled under the pressure not a few months ago, unable to control the situation - but now I know better.

It wasn't an awkward silence but more like "I'm about to make your day at work fun" type of moment, but still acting the part of a normal customer. Then after a brief moment, she starts smiling -even amused, I asked her "Coffee or tea?".

She looked at me, puzzled for a few seconds, then suddenly it hit her, and she turned away and down slightly blushing and giggling. This threw her off because she was expecting one thing and I turned it around, but she reacted well. "Tea, I like gren tea actually" she said.

Bam, I was in a convo about why she liked green tea, and we talked about health foods and a few other things for a few minutes. "Well, I need to get these photos made. I really enjoyed talking with you HB salesgirl, let me get your number so we can get together for tea this Friday" and that was it! She handed me her home number and cell number written on the back of a reciept.

It happened so fast and so smoothly that by the time I got out to my car, it hit me. I'd felt like I just made a great transition in my quest towards DJ'dom. I've gotten other numbers recently, but this one truly made me appreciate the subtlety of just being in the DJ frame of mind - think and so you shall become.

I simply relaxed and let go, living the moment and enjoying it without the inner turmoil and 'AFC' trying to come out. So many times in the past I struggled to try not to mess up and be mindful of the advice here, "do this and this and this" - but now it is really 'clicking' and becomming second nature.

Anyone have additional advice on good ideas for nabbing girls working? So far I've had above normal success, most all are friendly even though they may have boyfriend or not interested - but is this a low ratio subset of women to work on?

 

[Craig Reeves]

Yeah, there's nothing I hate more than guys trying "techniques" and "tactics" in communication with women with the intention of IMPRESSING her. Women are turned off by guys trying to impress them, because they will feel like you are fake, and see right through you and get your real intentions.

Re-train your mindset and views on how this whole thing works....then all you have to do is just follow your instinct and be yourself. Great job!

 

[Skel]

way to go!!

 

[DarkCityNight]

Excellent job assuming the sale first of all. For your question on how to refine the store method pickup:

Don't always think that women appreciate a stranger using their names from their nametags. Nametags are mandatory and sometimes only contain their legal name like "Cristina" when all the people close to her call her by "Cristy". Calling her Cristina can have the opposite effect by making her aware that you are not someone close to her. Most retail is depersonalizing enough to the worker. Instead of calling her by her name, try commenting on how pretty it is. Then introduce yourself.

Make her feel special. If she handles herself professionally, comment on her being too smart for the job she's doing. Ask where her heart is/ what she's passionate about. Assume she's a college student. Ask what's she's studying.

Realize her job is depersonalizing. Then show interest in her as a person. It's that simple.

I think you're on the right track. Just be sure to make it clear what your intent is- not AFC let's be freinds, but interest as a man to a woman.

 

[Walden]

That tea of coffee sht is money , and I have totally stolen it. Dman! that's good.

 

[becker]

Yeah, that was a great move mateo_g, and if you thought that up yourself, I'm pretty impressed.

I'd say the main thing about this type of maneuver is that if you do it, you have to back it up with more. My cousin is pretty smooth when it comes to women because he is very outgoing and spontaneous. I used to hang out with him all the time and just observe him do his stuff; he was like an older brother I never had. Now he's married with a kid, so not so much opportunity for that.

Anyways, I remember I used to try to emulate him, and the problem was that our personalities were a little different, me being a little less of a goofball than him, so the problem was that it came off a little strange when I did what he did. Instead, I adapted parts of his personality that I would be able to pull off yet not seem like a total fake.

That's what this coffee or tea thing reminded me of. See, I view that approach as sort of witty, and usually that would come from a guy who could think of even more witty things and fire them off at will. If you can do that, then this approach will be gold.

 

[Ricky]

Assuming the sale is brilliant.

MOTU has a post on this I believe. I have used it to great effect to.

 

[becker]

I had to resurrect this post, because I want to know if anyone else has advice for this type of approach. This one girl at Abercrombie is pretty damn hot (seriously, folks, if you go after any girl in clothing stores, this is the store to go), and I'm getting good body language from her. I am not too into the cold approach thing, so I don't do it often. This sort of thing usually involves the cold approach too. All you cold approach masters, what are some tips for this?

 

[Mav]

I LOVE that tea or coffee line, I've also stolen it

I'd agree with DarkCityNight about the name tag thing, infact I can think of times when I've used a girls nametag in a non-pickup situation and they've corrected me.

I would though disagree with his comments about delving into her interests/background. Just my experience.

Becker;

Dude, girls in clothing stores are the easiest! Just ask her opinion on something you've tried on, and then ask her for other suggestions. Girls LOVE giving their opinions on this sort of thing.

Pick a quiet time, preferably early on when she's looking at a dreary day ahead.

Only negative thing would be you mention the good body language you were getting from the girl so don't be like visiting every day till you get the courage to approach. If she's truly hot (9/10) display complete indifference to her until you're about to speak to her. Walk past her and make it seem like an afterthought to ask what she thinks.

Mav

 

[becker]

Mav,

Thanks, I've been sort of showing the girl some indifference, and just talking with her only if there's something to say. She's at least an 8 though, probably a little higher. Why do you say to stay away from her?

I'm planning on next time I see her, I ask her an opinion on clothing, then ask her for some coffee. No sure if she has a BF though, that's what I hate about cold approaches and asking out girls you hardly know.

 

[Ricky]

Ask her for e-mail and then when she writes it down ask for her phone number.

I swear though, this girl last night said she didn't have e-mail or a phone and I honestly believe.

By the way you first read that and you think Ricky got rejected by this girl, but no I was there with my girlfriend and this waittress was all over my gf. I am sure she is interested in my girlfriend and would go out with her. She was asking where my girlfriend works and she wants to go visit her there.

So when we said we'd give directions by e-mail or call her she said she didn't have either, she is very poor right now but she wants us to come in to visit her next week.

I'll post this whole story later.

 

[becker]

Don't like the e-mail thing, I've never really asked anyone for e-mail before I asked for a phone number. I think the main thing is to try to get this girl to go out with me on the spot or after she's off work, that way I don't have to call her and set something up.

I'll try to see what I can do tomorrow when I'm there.

 

[Ricky]

Becker

I'm just using David D's method where you ask for e-mail and then get the phone number as well.

For me and alot of sometimes nervous guys, e-mailing is an easy way to start off and then call her later.

I will eventually be using this within the next few weeks with a waittress at my local neighborhood bar that I go to after work.

A couple of keys I think on the girl behind the counter

1) I go there once a week, tops, sometimes less, but she remembers my name and my drink of choice. I don't want to go more often and be a stalker. I swear my one friend did this one time with a girl he knew. He asked to be seated in her section and everything. Talk about anti-challenge.

2) I haven't had a great chance to isolate her, although last night she came over to my table and touched me. All good signs. I've had it before too. I try to watch her interactions with other guys as a guideline. She'll joke with a few, but rarely spends as much time with others as me. Some of the other girls she works with flirt with me alot too. She practically ran over one of them to take my drink order when I walked up to the bar last night.

This is all so much fun! If I could talk to her when she wasn't busy it'd be easier, but since I don't have that opportunity, I'll just have to get the e-mail and work it that way.

 

[becker]

I guess to me there's always something about asking for a phone number or e-mail in general that makes the whole IL thing too obvious. I like to just ask her to do something, and the way I've done it, and it hasn't failed yet, is to just ask her if she wants to head over for coffee (easy if she works in a mall or something), and if she can't do it right then and there, or if she doesn't have a break coming up, then ask her for her number. I'm also thinking that if I ask a girl out who works in a store that I go to often, and she refuses, it may be a little awkward next time I see her. That's why I'd try to keep it as a spontaneous, more friendly thing to start off with, and if she agrees to go, then she may be interested in more, but if not, then at least the whole idea was tame enough that there won't be any awkwardness.

It's tough, since I generally am much more successful with the in-person approach than the whole phone number + call you later approach.