The difference between "thinking DJ" and "being DJ" is apparent now.

[squirrels]

One of the first steps in the "right direction" that I made since being on this site is finally coming to the realization that other people could not tell me who I was. I used to look to other people to define who I am and looked to their approval to justify my thoughts and actions. Then, one day, when I was feeling particularly down, I told myself, "Look...they can't tell you who you are. Your friends can't tell you who you are. SHE (one-itis) can't tell you who you are. You don't need to look to them for approval. You don't need their blessing to justify your actions. Only YOU can tell yourself who you are. Only YOU can justify your existence by approving or disapproving."

Sounds like a good start, right? Almost...except I made a fatal mistake.

I told myself that *I* could tell myself who I was and that that was enough. I missed the point. I can't "tell" myself who I am any more than anyone else can. I can't justify my own actions by approving or disapproving of them. How arrogant of me to believe that *I* was any different than anyone else...LOL!

Thus the difference between "thinking I am" and "knowing I am" becomes all too apparent. Being willing to think of things as a Don Juan, as a self-secure, self-confident male is different from BEING one. My conscious mind is screaming at me, telling me how I should think, how I should act, but my underlying WILL is still stuck up on the old AFC patterns. It's not enough for anyone, not even YOU, to tell you that you are Don Juan. That doesn't make you one. You have to KNOW it...BE it.

I think back to the Matrix again, where Neo is on top of the building about to try the jump:

"OK...free my mind...free my mind....AAAAAAHHH"

*thud*

Telling yourself you are a DJ is a good starting step, but the only way you can BECOME a Don Juan is to first BE a Don Juan.

Olympic runners don't become fast by telling themselves how fast they are or how they should run or anything else. They become fast by exercising that potential and RUNNING.

Maybe the first time, he falls flat on his face. Maybe the second time, he runs a sorry time. But even that sorry time IS an improvement.

The difference between the Olympian and the average runner is that the average runner may look to the clock or to his own thoughts for consolation. He feels good when he does well, he feels bad when he does poorly. He tells himself that he did OK and he'll do better next time, he tells himself that he's a champion, but he doesn't truly believe it. Eventually, he settles for what he gets.

The Olympian KNOWS that he can run faster, that he WILL run faster, that he IS a champion. He doesn't need to tell himself anything. He already KNOWS.

Speaking to the classic Pook saying, "As you think, so shall you become", I almost think that believe may be a better choice of word than "think." I'm sure this is what Pook meant, since even he decries relying on philosophy and calculation.

As you believe, so shall you be.
As you are, so shall you become.

If this is true, I'm starting to realize how little of the surface I've scratched and how far I have to go. I'm not saying that the guidelines put forth here are no good for getting women. You have to think about something before you can choose to believe it, and these "tactics" can lead someone in the right direction. But once I AM a DJ, once I KNOW I am DJ, once I am ready, I should only need to tell myself one thing:

"..."

 

[Zoso]

I told myself that *I* could tell myself who I was and that that was enough. I missed the point. I can't "tell" myself who I am any more than anyone else can. I can't justify my own actions by approving or disapproving of them. How arrogant of me to believe that *I* was any different than anyone else...LOL!

Thus the difference between "thinking I am" and "knowing I am" becomes all too apparent. Being willing to think of things as a Don Juan, as a self-secure, self-confident male is different from BEING one.

I really like this part, I think it's a very important realization. Sounds like you're making progress

Good post.

 

[anakin]

I'm pleased with your progress squirrels...and I think that's because your a deep thinker and have a hunger to improve. Keep it up!

To use another quote from the Matrix that's relevant here:

There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path

Yes, only you can define yourself, who you are, what you want, what you have done and where you are going in life. Like I say, it's a process that requires some soul-searching, to look within yourself and what you want. It is that particular aspect that will enhance your self-discovery and help develop a mindset.

Being willing to think of things as a Don Juan, as a self-secure, self-confident male is different from BEING one.

Exactly, there are some people who say "fake it until you make it" but that requires many shots in the dark and until they 'discover' themselves and what they want they will come off as exactly what they are - fake. It is no wonder that they come back to the forum asking further questions about what to do next (e.g. "Does she like me? I called her...now what?!!", particularly because they are not being - they are impersonating someone who was and who gave tips about women.

You have to think about something before you can choose to believe it, and these "tactics" can lead someone in the right direction.

Yes, I call it establishing your mindset and your goals and your ambitions - from life in general. Once you are on that road - no matter what happens, you will be happier as you are leading your life how you want to and how you think best. The by-product of that - in time - is higher confidence, charm, charisma, respect and women!

In the meantime, we can ponder over your legendary post "..." for inspiration!

Good luck!

Anakin

 

[Starman]

SquirrelHopper ,

You are finally beginning to see the light..who you are and who you think you are, who you want to become are a confusing thought salad..

dont believe me?

Sit down with a pen and paper..and do this exercise

I AM

1)

2)

3)


(write down 20 of your personality characteristics)

I'll bet you , that you get stumped..and have to REAALLLLY THINK about the type of person you are..you will pause, think, rethink, erase, get baffled, confused, etc

You would think..if you truly KNEW yourself..you could come up with a list of 20 in no time

This would illustrate..who you are..who you think you are..and who your ideal self isnt as clear a concept as you think..

 

[-Zero_h0uR-]

Squirrels...

I have to say that from your last thread, this is a huge step forward. Good to see you're starting to "walk the path."

Keep up the good work, man...


-- Zero-

 

[Unregistered]

great post my furry friend