The deadly LJBF zone.

[ntdawg]

OK I was an AFC until I found this site. I hope the guy who made this site is rich. He deserves to be!

Basically I was with a girl and she was way into me and she is very hot and a really easy chick to hang with. She is also one of those rare ones that you connect with without having to put in a great deal of effort.

Being the AFC that I was I thought that I would try to close the deal, mentioned a relationship, gave her too much attention, started feeling insecure and put her on a pedestal.. You know the drill we have all done it before otherwise you wouldn't be on this site. Basically she lost romantic interest because the challenge was gone. I became one of her many puppy dog admirers wanting to jump into a deep relationship and the sex and fooling around dissapeared.

Now looking back it is no suprise that I got the LJBF line. To make it worse I lost my cool and basically asked her to explain why she doesn't find me attractive any more trying to find some logic in the situation. I went along with the LJBF stuff for a while cause I felt that there was still some sexual tension and that she would change her mind. I brought up taking it further a couple more times and she mostly cut me down except we made out a couple of times since the LJBF incident.

I then found this site. I've stopped acting like an AFC and more like a DJ but I can't get her to see me in this new light. She still sees me as an extended brother. I am at the point of confronting her to end the friendship.. It sucks being the boy friend who doesn't get any. I think that she thinks that I still want a LTR when now I just want to hang out and give it to her every now and again.

Do you think that there is anything that I can do to "clean the slate" so that I can start fresh and not fvck things up this time?

Has anyone out there got out of the deadly LJBF zone? If I end the friendship should I just disappear of the face of the earth or tell her up front that I don't want a LTR but am not interested in being friends unless it is friends with benefits?

I should also mention that allthough it's a LJBF relationship now. She still really likes me as a person and basically wants me as one of her closest friends. The interest and love is there just not the romantic love that gets us action. I need to be a challenge to her again to get her romantic interest back. I've cut down the amount of attention which I give her, have got her off the pedestal and act as though I'm the prize around her. I am dating other women allthough she doesn't know that. I always feel as though I'm close but I never quite get there.

 

[Macgyver]

(Cue Macgyver Theme Song)

Basically I was with a girl and she was way into me and she is very hot and a really easy chick to hang with. She is also one of those rare ones that you connect with without having to put in a great deal of effort.

Yeah, I get that all the time from so many girls that work at the strip club.

I then found this site. I've stopped acting like an AFC and more like a DJ but I can't get her to see me in this new light. She still sees me as an extended brother. I am at the point of confronting her to end the friendship.. It sucks being the boy friend who doesn't get any. I think that she thinks that I still want a LTR when now I just want to hang out and give it to her every now and again.

You're still acting like an AFC. Girls want almost the same things we want when we dudes look for relationships with girls: Sex and Companionship. We get sex if we are mutually attracted to each other. We get Companionship if our personalities are compatible. Sometimes you see two people that are mismatched, well those are the cases of two beta female and males trying to make something happen.

Do you think that there is anything that I can do to "clean the slate" so that I can start fresh and not fvck things up this time?

Has anyone out there got out of the deadly LJBF zone? If I end the friendship should I just disappear of the face of the earth or tell her up front that I don't want a LTR but am not interested in being friends unless it is friends with benefits?

You can try the "Gunwitch" method (do a search) with a 50/50 chance of dating her. Or if I were in your shoes, I'd just pack up and delete her existence. It's kinda hard to be friends with someone you are attracted to especially if they know it.

 

[ntdawg]

good advice

Thats some good advice. But if she wasn't attracted to me she wouldn't have gone as far as sex to begin with and wouldn't continue to complement me on my appearance, looks and phyisique.

I think the way I was acting helped her loose attraction not the way I look. Which I think I've got on top of now.

If I end it. Do you think I should tell her to not contact me or just fvck off. IE not respond to her calls and emails. She is going to chase me to hang out.

 

[SeldomSeen]

Re:

I havent read the thread but LJBF...lol, okay. Ive slept with alot of LJBF women!
You just have to know how to manuver while you're in the dreaded 'friend zone'

 

[ntdawg]

Seldom Seen can you elaborate?

I'm sure I'm not the only here who wants to learn about your manuvuring techniques.

I'm think that if you have been there before and that there is an emotional bond then it should definately be possibe.

I just need to how so I can get back into those pants.

 

[ScrewIt]

Has anyone out there got out of the deadly LJBF zone? If I end the friendship should I just disappear of the face of the earth or tell her up front that I don't want a LTR but am not interested in being friends unless it is friends with benefits?

There is a way to get a clean slate of LJBF, no contact for a few or several months. then down the line get together and start fresh like a first date.

nah...ultimatums rarely work. Especially when someone's IL is already low. Just disappear without a word will do you justice. Down the line after so months, if she's interested she'll contact you.

honestly i see nothing dreaded about LJBF. unless you seriously cant do without the LTR/ or at least sex in the picture.

Thats some good advice. But if she wasn't attracted to me she wouldn't have gone as far as sex to begin with and wouldn't continue to complement me on my appearance, looks and phyisique.

i've had that happen too. i dont understand women...perhaps it's just a moment of lust. and once they get over it the attraction is gone...thats why personality is so important.

 

[Marlimus]

am at the point of confronting her to end the friendship.

Issuing ultimatums and forcing confrontation is a sign of helplessness and desperation. Do no such thing. Do not tell her anything directly. Just move on. When she calls talk to her. If she messages you, respond. Say hi. Be polite. But move on.

 

[ntdawg]

Thanks Guys that makes sense. I think I should be seen to "lose interest" in her eyes. She will hopefully wonder what went wrong.

My plan is to drop off the radar, be polite if she calls, reply in brief to her mails but decline any offer to hang out. When everything has cooled down and I have completly gotten over her I'll touch base and ask if she wants to go out and start fresh. If she does all good otherwise who cares.

It's Friday I'm going to go out and get my self a new woman tonight!around after a few cooling things off?

Anyone kept up a LJBF relationship so that you can bang her hot friends and have had success?

 

[Badmannaz]

i got Ljbf'd by a girl i liked...she had way too many guy friends...im not totally ljbf'd..i think the thing about keeping from being ljbf'd is not letting a women know you..one day you make act funny and the next day serious...don't always talk to her every chance you will get and don't always try to make her laugh or you'll be another friend that's GREAT to be around

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

OK I was an AFC until I found this site. I hope the guy who made this site is rich. He deserves to be!

Basically I was with a girl and she was way into me and she is very hot and a really easy chick to hang with. She is also one of those rare ones that you connect with without having to put in a great deal of effort.

Being the AFC that I was I thought that I would try to close the deal, mentioned a relationship, gave her too much attention, started feeling insecure and put her on a pedestal.. You know the drill we have all done it before otherwise you wouldn't be on this site. Basically she lost romantic interest because the challenge was gone. I became one of her many puppy dog admirers wanting to jump into a deep relationship and the sex and fooling around dissapeared.

Now looking back it is no suprise that I got the LJBF line. To make it worse I lost my cool and basically asked her to explain why she doesn't find me attractive any more trying to find some logic in the situation. I went along with the LJBF stuff for a while cause I felt that there was still some sexual tension and that she would change her mind. I brought up taking it further a couple more times and she mostly cut me down except we made out a couple of times since the LJBF incident.

I then found this site. I've stopped acting like an AFC and more like a DJ but I can't get her to see me in this new light. She still sees me as an extended brother. I am at the point of confronting her to end the friendship.. It sucks being the boy friend who doesn't get any. I think that she thinks that I still want a LTR when now I just want to hang out and give it to her every now and again.

Do you think that there is anything that I can do to "clean the slate" so that I can start fresh and not fvck things up this time?

Has anyone out there got out of the deadly LJBF zone? If I end the friendship should I just disappear of the face of the earth or tell her up front that I don't want a LTR but am not interested in being friends unless it is friends with benefits?

I should also mention that allthough it's a LJBF relationship now. She still really likes me as a person and basically wants me as one of her closest friends. The interest and love is there just not the romantic love that gets us action. I need to be a challenge to her again to get her romantic interest back. I've cut down the amount of attention which I give her, have got her off the pedestal and act as though I'm the prize around her. I am dating other women allthough she doesn't know that. I always feel as though I'm close but I never quite get there.

Say you are growing facial hair and watch it every morning and every night in the mirror. It grows slowly day by day. After a week you think "man it is hardly growing at all". But then you meet a friend you haven't seen in a week and he is like "whoa! What's with the beard you look so different!"

Time distorts perception. Avoid her for a while. Then get back to her when you feel ready. It is the closest thing you can do to getting a clean slate. She will have had some time to see that "old image" of you fade away and she will be ready to actually see the change (think back to my analogy).