Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

The Conversational Art of Conversation.

Grey Fox

Master Don Juan
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Much like the way a painter uses brush strokes on a canvas or a Martial Artist preforms the set movements in a kata. Conversation is an art within itself. Naturally to excel in any art one must hone their skills, once this skills are honed the artist may experiment and develop their own unquie style. This is what I want to teach you, ability to understand the art of conversation in the hopes it allows you to develop it to your own unquie DJ style. Having done years, and years of public speaking I understand the power of the spoken word, from the most emptiest phrase loaded with B.S. to the simpliest utterance of a single word. But your voice and your words are like a wild horse, you cannot trust to ride it safely until you have broken it in and imposed your will upon it.

Simple Training Steps:

1. Pronunication is huge: You you slur your words like drunk, no one will understand you, and it is also seen as a lack of confidence. There is an easy way to make your words sound clearer. Socrates used to put stones in his mouth and say his speeches will walking along the beach forcing him to say his words slowly and loudly so he could hear them. For me I just put a pen in my mouth like it was a bit and picked up a book and started reading it a loud. This is far more easier and doesn't involve the unsanitary bussiness of shoving rocks in your mouth and finding a beach to go yelling around.

2. Speed Kills: What happens when you collide into something at over 200 miles an hour? Well its certainly not pretty, and its probably going to be one hell of a mess. Well thats the same way a woman or anyone is going to react when they hear your words smash into their eardrum at that speed. Make an effort to watch the speed in which you say things. Once you have the pronunciation thing down, take a book or whatever and select a passage to read from, at the top of the page and bottom of the page write in big letters: SLOW DOWN STUPID. Keep glancing at it from time to time and you'll eventually start to slow down.

3. Eye contact: Not making eye contact is weak. You look like a coward and chances are your words will be going right where you are looking, which is probably not at the intended listener. Practice on strangers, when you pass them by just look them in the eye and smile. When you talk to someone that you already know make good eye contact too. You want to be in the habit of looking people in the eyes when you talk to them.

Okay you've completed the basics and understand that these things are key. Now here comes some of the more important and likewise subtle points.

Vocabulary Usage A.K.A Diction: Yeah word choice is crucial, if you rely on primal grunts and simple sentences people will think you're an escaped cave man or washed up Slyvester Stalone impersonator. Be too loquacious and garilious around your company of listeners or tell some girl she has excellent callopygean, and people will go looking for that Slyvester Stalone impersonator to stick your head up your butt. The point is sounded like a mongoloid retard or Eggheaded Poindexter will be lethal to your conversational skills. Whenever you are going to say something never use more words than you have too.

Example:

Word Choice In Conversation: Be sure to never say to much or to little, use words everyone will understand and ones that do not take three breaths to say.

See how much simplier and effective the example was then the orginial paragraph I made you slug through.

The tone: The way you say something or emphasize something can me the difference between sarcasism and sincerity, the difference between a regular statement and a double entendre.
Also along with speaking slow your tone will be very effective as a slow steady voice coupled with the proper tone put behind words lends itself to a seductive quality.

Empathy: The ability to appear like you are able to understand where a person is coming from, wheither you really care or not is clutch. When ever a woman is saying something that is heart felt and important to her, and is just one of those things that you need to be able to at least identify with here's a little trick for you. Image she is talking about something you really care about, that way you can use that to establish an emotional connection. Just don't let her turn you into an emotional tampoon.

The next step and it is arguable that it is one of the hardest areas for a budding DJ to contend with: THE INTRODUCTION.

Sputtering out umms...uhhs...hmms and fumbling around for words like 16 year-old guy taking the bra off his first girlfriend is just sad. So I'm going to give you two ways to introduce yourself.

The Slim Shady: Just say "Hi, my name is..." But if you sing it someone should punch you.

Simple yes but your just getting your feet wet.

The second is better and my personal favorite when at parties, bars, or any where that will allow. And its based on a simple principle. Conversations in these places are light and airy and are easy to interject into with a little humor or ancedote. Also I pick someone out in the group to talk to then move my way into the group conversation and eventually put the attention on me.
It takes work but use of humor, intersting stories and good listening skills will help know exactly what people will and won't want to hear.

Just follow the topics and when a tangent comes up, instead of leaping back to the old convo and beating into ground move on.

Basic no no's and convo advice.

Never fake a laugh.
Never laugh at your own jokes.
Never repeat something.
Don't be overly familiar until you have established some familiarity.
If you screw up and kill a conversation, look on the bright side you'll know what not to next time. There always is a next time.
Develop a rythmn of give and take, make your subject give up a lot of info to you and let them take only a little from you.(Read: Be a mystery.)

-Grey Fox
 

becker

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Good tips, Grey Fox! One thing I've noticed that I hate is leaving voice mail messages. That's probably where I feel the most awkward. If I get through to the girl, that's fine, but I feel so stupid leaving messages. What suggestions would you have there?
 

Grey Fox

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I think you will like this:

DON'T LEAVE PHONE MESSAGES.

They take the ball out of your court by allowing to be the one who is in control of making contact.
If you try calling back and she finds a bunch of messages she will think you are a stalker.
I prefer the personal touch of talking with a live human being.

BUT IF YOU HAVE TO LEAVE A MESSAGE:

Get to the point tell her what you want to do, when, and to call you back. If she don't then move on.

-Grey Fox
 

Epicenter

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I think after your basic needs communication is 80% of life.

I think specially many guys have problems with that, because it is hard to cultivate the "magic" of communication.

I was quite average with communication. I developed a fun routine to advance it. The side effect was it filled big parts of the inner emptiness.

I start with some litte warm up sport. Then I do some singing along karaoke vith video in a standing position. Then I do read loud in a standing position. Some positive stuff like "zen habits" from leo babauta/

Then I do read parts of a novel loud and silent. Then I do some self talk loud and silent. Sometimes I do some wrting. Forum writing is part of it.

With this I am often times much better than native speakers. Many people are awful with language. It hurts.

Anyway after doing that routine one is really good prepared and primed for communication. The next step would be creating the next level of magic: using art.

That could be movies, video clips from youtube, analysis of movies on youtube, novels, philosophy. This brings you in to the world of the human mind. That I guess makes it much easier to connect to people and understand their patterns.

Lately I got indirectly reminded of the older mini series "shogun". I like it when I was young. Probably I missed 60% of what was going on but it was interesting. If I would have the vids I would probably rewatch it. My teacher wrote about me that I like swimming and reading of adventure books. Well "shogun" is quite an adventure for the guy. It feels somewhat even like science fiction because the japanese culture is so alien but sophisticated.

That is an example how to get into the conversation.
 

Epicenter

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Another story:


Some points regarding Islam. I like this story:

Muhammed thought, man, we need some religion. As a businessman I feel like getting a minority complex as the Jews and Christians have a mighty God and I (we) don't have it.

Anyway I am going to do something about it. I just copy the original (jewish religion) and add some Christianity to it that is opening it up for anybody. So the Abraham Religion 3.0 is done. Man I am so good and that makes me and my friends rockstars and the others better join us becuse we are the upgrade and if you don't join us you are an idiot. This thing is the best thing after conquering fire.
 

SW15

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DON'T LEAVE PHONE MESSAGES.

They take the ball out of your court by allowing to be the one who is in control of making contact.
If you try calling back and she finds a bunch of messages she will think you are a stalker.
I prefer the personal touch of talking with a live human being.

BUT IF YOU HAVE TO LEAVE A MESSAGE:

Get to the point tell her what you want to do, when, and to call you back. If she don't then move on.
The innovation of the iPhone took care of the phone message issue. Voicemail isn't used much anymore in personal calls. In business calls, it is still used.

The advice for actually leaving a voicemail message is good. Giving specific instructions on a callback time would make sense so that there is not phone tag.

I miss the mid-2000s cell phones. It was a perfect balance. You didn't have to be tethered to your home phone to receive a call. Additionally, these phones were not sophisticated enough to get lost in them with internet browsers, apps, and texting.
 

andreihaha

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Another story:


Some points regarding Islam. I like this story:

Muhammed thought, man, we need some religion. As a businessman I feel like getting a minority complex as the Jews and Christians have a mighty God and I (we) don't have it.

Anyway I am going to do something about it. I just copy the original (jewish religion) and add some Christianity to it that is opening it up for anybody. So the Abraham Religion 3.0 is done. Man I am so good and that makes me and my friends rockstars and the others better join us becuse we are the upgrade and if you don't join us you are an idiot. This thing is the best thing after conquering fire.
What the fvck did I just read?
 
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