I am the silent site crawler. Like so many of you I have faithfully crawled the forums in search of that magic pill that would turn me from the pathetic being that I was into a god. There is no magic pill, but there is a doorway to a new perception, a new life.
A year ago my life became so unbearable I took a knife to my wrists and crawled into my bed, and eventually passed out. My reasons for doing this were many, but the past is past and now is nothing but the scars of the present, it is irrelevant. The next morning I did wake, lying in bloody sheets and weak as a kitten. I was angry. Why was I still alive? I put it down to fate, it wasn't my time. Then I got angry, why was it I had to endure this life? That was the moment I was reborn. I decided to change everything, to become something else.
Part of my trouble was an obsession with a particular girl that I knew. I found this site and it opened my eyes. I called my obseesion and told her I couldn't see her anymore. The next week I moved cities. I got a job at a lawyers and worked my ass off and made lots of money, and I used it to improve myself. I was working out four times a week, bought good clothes and ate good food. I kept checking the word from you DJ's. I have talked to hundreds of women, dated probably fifty of them. It was tough BUT I DID it. Now, a year later almost to the day, I can go out and get dates with most girls I want to.
What I realized today is that I always was the person I am today, but it was hidden from me by fear. Do not be a afraid, if you don't do what you want for the threat of rejection of fear, you have already lost.
Thankyou to everyone at the DJ Discussion forum, you have been a great instrument in my transformation. To my silent brothers, summon all you have and deny your false selves, and become what you really are.
A year ago my life became so unbearable I took a knife to my wrists and crawled into my bed, and eventually passed out. My reasons for doing this were many, but the past is past and now is nothing but the scars of the present, it is irrelevant. The next morning I did wake, lying in bloody sheets and weak as a kitten. I was angry. Why was I still alive? I put it down to fate, it wasn't my time. Then I got angry, why was it I had to endure this life? That was the moment I was reborn. I decided to change everything, to become something else.
Part of my trouble was an obsession with a particular girl that I knew. I found this site and it opened my eyes. I called my obseesion and told her I couldn't see her anymore. The next week I moved cities. I got a job at a lawyers and worked my ass off and made lots of money, and I used it to improve myself. I was working out four times a week, bought good clothes and ate good food. I kept checking the word from you DJ's. I have talked to hundreds of women, dated probably fifty of them. It was tough BUT I DID it. Now, a year later almost to the day, I can go out and get dates with most girls I want to.
What I realized today is that I always was the person I am today, but it was hidden from me by fear. Do not be a afraid, if you don't do what you want for the threat of rejection of fear, you have already lost.
Thankyou to everyone at the DJ Discussion forum, you have been a great instrument in my transformation. To my silent brothers, summon all you have and deny your false selves, and become what you really are.
