Text first after 'date', or what?

[kraytkiller]

So I was talking to this girl I'd just met, and I'd been texting her a lot. She'd text me all day every day and she was way fun to talk to so I couldn't resist texting her back all the time, either. She eventually got to the point where she was sending me 'Good morning' texts and displaying super high interest.

Then we hung out, which was about 2 days ago and we made out/held hands/had physical contact pretty much the entire time. I kind of felt I want too far though because I kept grabbing her ass, though she didn't seem pissed about it or anything. At the end she seemed happy and gave me a couple kisses goodbye, and I said you going to hang out with me this weekend? to which she replied 'I will if I'm not doing anything else' which I don't think is as bad as it sounds, since she's pretty busy with a job and school, also she does a lot of **** with dance.

Anyways, she didn't text me the rest of that day (yesterday) and hasn't all of today either. This is kind of weird because before she would text me non-stop.

I'm just kind of wondering what to do about this. I haven't contacted her at all, I figure letting her make the first contact would be the best idea?? Or is she waiting for me to text her, like men are 'supposed' to do after the first 'date', which I guess she could think it was.

My current plan is to let her contact me, and if she doesn't, I'll call her and ask her to come hangout again next time I have a day off from work (maybe this weekend or sometime next week)

 

[nismo-4]

All women always have options.

Based on personal experience, if a woman wants you, she'll stay in contact. Not the case here. Seems like she got another man.

Spin more plates. That's all you can do.

Case closed.

 

[drellum]

if you see my post further down, I had the same question.


I left it and she texted.
My plan B was to send a text at the weekend.

I guess you win some you lose some

D

 

[alxrose04]

From the sounds of it, things moved really fast and the fire may starting to lose its burn. I'm not talking about in the sense that she doesn't like you anymore because I'm sure she still does, but I'm talking about the intensity. You want to hang her with her so you get in contact with her but this time, tone down the intensity and let the fire slowly grow again.

Girls like to feel a sense of comfort with guys before they rush in to the crazy physical stuff. That's how relationships last instead of last for 2 days. Next time you guys hang out, just tone down the physical stuff and try to get some comfort with her. Figure out what she loves to do in life, her passions, share your's etc.

 

[Skalioppe]

A few woman friends have said to me that after a date, women like a text or something as a display of reassurance that it went OK, especially if they are insecure or have other suitors. It sounds like she was putting up an anti-slut barrier at the end of your date by not being too keen, and is now playing women mind games, waiting for you to text. I will warn you though, if she's half decent (7 or above) she will have other options and you might be put on the back burner, losing your tempo if someone else is stoking the fires of interest. Women are fickle as fvck and many focus on one immediate man with Plan B, Cs and Ds in the wings.

Difficult one, but if she's worth it, I'd wait another day or two to see if she bites and sends you a text, otherwise chuck her a text. Incidentally I've developed a pretty effective texting approach if there's a period lacking in contact.... see here with high success rates.

 

[gspshields2]

So I was talking to this girl I'd just met, and I'd been texting her a lot. She'd text me all day every day and she was way fun to talk to so I couldn't resist texting her back all the time, either. She eventually got to the point where she was sending me 'Good morning' texts and displaying super high interest.

Then we hung out, which was about 2 days ago and we made out/held hands/had physical contact pretty much the entire time. I kind of felt I want too far though because I kept grabbing her ass, though she didn't seem pissed about it or anything. At the end she seemed happy and gave me a couple kisses goodbye, and I said you going to hang out with me this weekend? to which she replied 'I will if I'm not doing anything else' which I don't think is as bad as it sounds, since she's pretty busy with a job and school, also she does a lot of **** with dance.

Anyways, she didn't text me the rest of that day (yesterday) and hasn't all of today either. This is kind of weird because before she would text me non-stop.

I'm just kind of wondering what to do about this. I haven't contacted her at all, I figure letting her make the first contact would be the best idea?? Or is she waiting for me to text her, like men are 'supposed' to do after the first 'date', which I guess she could think it was.

My current plan is to let her contact me, and if she doesn't, I'll call her and ask her to come hangout again next time I have a day off from work (maybe this weekend or sometime next week)

I guarantee you shes done with you, think about it this way, if you were Brad Pitt, would she say "if i have nothing else going on this weekend we can hangout". No way.

Don't text her again. You will only look desperate.

If a girl likes you and wants to see you again, she will make it clear to you that she does ok.

Why don't have other options when she has plenty?

Don't be an AFC and develop one-itis.

 

[cremasta7]

Ok, so you've left the ball in her court. How's that working for you?

I couldn't tell your or her age from your post, but if she's under 25 then texting is just what they do, often more than actually talking on the phone.

Text her already (maybe twice at most if you have to) and if she doesn't respond within a couple day's time, delete her.

 

[bigneil]

I've found that as of the past few years, women will ALWAYS text you after a date if they want to see you again.

Now, around the 3 month mark there is a friction point where they start to play games, and you must hold out sometimes. If you handle it right she will start to chase you and you keep her in that mode as long as possible.

Then if she suddenly doesn't text back after a date, you were effectively dumped. The preemptive dump will get you another date or two but you're on death row at that point.

 

[kraytkiller]

It sucks that I always over-do texting. I just find it so hard to resist when I find a girl I really can have a good conversation with, which is pretty rare. I just need to work on my self control.

This might be over for me but I'm going to text her tomorrow or saturday and ask her to come chill with me on sunday. If she doesn't i'll just forget about her, if she does well, good for me I guess. I just have a history of being very passive with girls and letting a lot of things I should've pursued further, go. So this is something I feel I should pursue until it's dead for sure.

 

[Iceberg]

It sucks that I always over-do texting. I just find it so hard to resist when I find a girl I really can have a good conversation with, which is pretty rare. I just need to work on my self control.

Yeah, but it's text. So how "good" can the conversation be? If it were that good, you'd be having it in person.

I refuse to call anything happening via text a "conversation."

 

[bigneil]

By "A girl he can really have a really good conversation with" he means someone who writes back at all.

 

[kraytkiller]

Well, I have a feeling this was all a shyt test. she later texted back asking how a concert I went to last night was, with a smiley face.. not that that means anything. I have a feeling she was just testing me to see how clingy I was, since I was so forward and physical the last time we hung out.Maybe?

I haven't texted back yet and will probably wait for a while to do so... I'm planning on keeping it short and then cutting it off, later calling her sometime in the future to set up another hang out. Should I start with something like 'Hey stranger' or not even acknowledge the fact we haven't texted?

Also, when a girl is trying to text you constantly, whats the best way to stop it? Instead of responding just say 'so and so is going on, gotta go' or something?

 

[gspshields2]

Well, I have a feeling this was all a shyt test. she later texted back asking how a concert I went to last night was, with a smiley face.. not that that means anything. I have a feeling she was just testing me to see how clingy I was, since I was so forward and physical the last time we hung out.Maybe?

I haven't texted back yet and will probably wait for a while to do so... I'm planning on keeping it short and then cutting it off, later calling her sometime in the future to set up another hang out. Should I start with something like 'Hey stranger' or not even acknowledge the fact we haven't texted?

Also, when a girl is trying to text you constantly, whats the best way to stop it? Instead of responding just say 'so and so is going on, gotta go' or something?

She doesn't like you dude, just accept it. If she did, she wouldnt be saying stuff like that. She wants you to text her to validate her big ego. Delete her number and move on. And tell her something rude "not interested in you bye"

 

[Iceberg]

I haven't texted back yet and will probably wait for a while to do so... I'm planning on keeping it short and then cutting it off, later calling her sometime in the future to set up another hang out. Should I start with something like 'Hey stranger' or not even acknowledge the fact we haven't texted?

Start thinking this way - is there any conceivable benefit to saying that? No, right? Because you don't want to seem as if you've been sitting around for days waiting for a text.

Also, when a girl is trying to text you constantly, whats the best way to stop it? Instead of responding just say 'so and so is going on, gotta go' or something?

If someone is texting me too much, I just stop responding. They usually get the hint. It's not a phone call....you're not obligated to say goodbye.

She doesn't like you dude, just accept it. If she did, she wouldnt be saying stuff like that. She wants you to text her to validate her big ego. Delete her number and move on. And tell her something rude "not interested in you bye"

I thought your routine was to start your own threads and troll those. At least that's better than f**king up someone else's question.

 

[Who Dares Win]

If that wasnt for that last line I would have suggested you to send a text, but that line was an open sign of low intention to see you again.

No matter how busy a girl is, if she wants to see a guy she will find a way, even lie to her parents or boss if necessary.

At this point I suggest you to go no contact and with some luck she will wonder why you disappeared and her low interest in an uncool guy will become curiosity and approval seeking for a smooth one.

In my experience all girls who let me know they "could have been busy" disappeared or flaked, while those who were interested in me always contacted me after a date even for complaining in case, something like "you dont wanna know if I reached home safely?"

 

[kraytkiller]

At this point I suggest you to go no contact and with some luck she will wonder why you disappeared and her low interest in an uncool guy will become curiosity and approval seeking for a smooth one.

In my experience all girls who let me know they "could have been busy" disappeared or flaked, while those who were interested in me always contacted me after a date even for complaining in case, something like "you dont wanna know if I reached home safely?"

I don't know if you read my last post, but just to clarify with your advice, should I continue NC even now, after she has texted me back with a question? I can see how that would raise her interest and maybe make her want to chase me.. but I can also see her taking it as I'm done with her / pissed off about her not texting me.

 

[pdx1138]

Now, around the 3 month mark there is a friction point where they start to play games, and you must hold out sometimes. If you handle it right she will start to chase you and you keep her in that mode as long as possible.

I too have found that "3 month mark" has the accuracy of an atomic clock by golly.

my last girlfriend (few months back) on the 3rd month:

"where's this relationship going?"

By that point though the fire/passion was out for me. I hung out with her less often and within a few weeks she wanted to see other people.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I don't know if you read my last post, but just to clarify with your advice, should I continue NC even now, after she has texted me back with a question? I can see how that would raise her interest and maybe make her want to chase me.. but I can also see her taking it as I'm done with her / pissed off about her not texting me.

Sorry mate somehow I skipped that post, well twe cannot give you a precise "do and dont" list but we can give you some general rule that you apply according to your gut (I mean GUT not feelings or hope).

When a girl sh1t test you to gauge your feelings or provoke a reaction, you always keep yourself calm, you even take 3 hours to reply if you think that your feelings wont allow to do the right thing in that moment.

What you have to avoid is look clingy or affected from her mind games otherwise she will lose respect for you and get an ego boost due to the satisfaction of manipulating you as a toy.

So whatever happens is never a big deal to you, provide the same interest you receive from her, if she is short and sharp then you are shorter and sharper.

If she does something that really piss you off, you dont throw tantrums or complain, you simply ignore her and even cut contacts if you think is necessary.
Dont be afraid to throw away a boiling potato or a smelling apple.

There is not a sure recipe to win a girl, but there are some intelligent things to do to maximise your potential gain and minimize your potential headache.

In your particular case, be polite and calm, reply to her without giving more than you received or showing that she hurt you, a short bored text get as a reply a short plain text.
Regarding your intention to cease text conversations, limit yourself to acknowledge what told, dont do questions and minimize the chance for a following text, she will get the hint, if not just reply a smile.

I cant tell you that I know when a conversation ends when a girl replies with a " "

 

[Cassify]

the same situation just happened to me buddy...
were you too "needy" at some point!? well in my experience i was, just one single time but it seems that it was enough for her to loose interest on me
i tried to text her but she didn't respond, and after that i gave up...