Testing the possibility of an 180

[European-DJ]

I am trying something new, this might not be in everyone's taste, but I am hoping to learn a valid lesson by doing this.

Recently, I approached a new girl, within 2 dates we had sex, and to be honest, I kind of lost interest. But instead of just moving on, I decided to try something new.

For the last month, I have spend more time with this girl than I usually would, I have been taking her out for dinner & ice, inviting her to my place, been to hers, texting her, validating her, ensuring her and generally trying to be the obvious nice guy that we are told to avoid.

What has happened? She is starting to loose interest, not initiating contact as often, delaying her answers and so forth - what we all would expect from a behavior like the one I have presented towards this girl.


What am I going to do now? Well my goal is obviously to do a 180, make her interest spark ones again; instead of me chasing her, she must become the one to chase me.

How am I going to do this? I have been lurking a bit in the no contact forum, and trying to search the forum for advice on the issue of 'how to get your girl back?'. The NC is not an option, since the purpose isn't to forget the girl, but to respark her interest. The approach I am currently thinking about initiating, is the one of minimal contact, and replying to her messages in a way, which indicates a lack of interest; not answering all her texts, nor being to available, and the common advice given to us on this board.

I will update this post once in a while, for the ones interested in the results.


Please let me know of any advice you may have, on how to do the 180, and what could possibly work - and I will update with the results,

Regards,
/European

 

[TheSlasher]

Now, this is what you call an experiment. Keep us posted.

 

[JohnChops]

dont ya love science! lets see if you can truly regain interest level in females by pulling that 180. In retrospect, I believe if you havent gone 100% AFC on her, there is a chance. following this fo sho

 

[Willard]

Sounds like a great experiment, I did the same thing years ago, except it wasn't an experiment I just found my balls that I lost for a while. It worked like a charm until I went AFC again. It will be interesting to see your results.

 

[European-DJ]

I am pleased to see that there is interest in this experiment; I have decided to update this case in details once every day/every second day.

I wouldn’t say I went complete AFC, I believe extreme Nice-Guy is the term, due to the fact that I have not lost my self-respect, but my stickiness, sweetness and affection is at its highest.

Day 1:
I ended yesterday with a call, giving her advice on some issue she was annoyed with; she wasn’t particularly excited about the help I wanted to provide her, nor was she very interested in keeping the conversation; actually she cut the conversation short, barely replying to my goodnight. I sent a message stating that her grumpy mood didn’t suit her, which she did not respond to.

I have truly managed to push her IL to something near Zero, since her behavior is common to the one presented, for the last week and a half.

I received the following messages this morning: (Regular = Her; Italic = European)

6.30: rather formal message
8.00: Another formal factual boring message
12.00: A much nicer message, asking if I was up
12.30: Asking if something was wrong

14.30: Casual message from me

14.31 (Within a minute): Much nicer message, initiated with “European <3 ”, mentioning she was going to take a nap

14.45: To which I replied: “Sleep tight!” (far from my previous nice-guy-texting-mode)

15.05: She asks me what I was doing on location X (I did a check in).

19.05: “Were you not supposed to sleep ;-)?”

She sent me a couple more boring formal texts – which I am going to ignore.

I need your opinion though, I was supposed to take her out for ice-cream tomorrow, and I am in a bit of a dilemma – should I cancel it? Or should I go with it?

Regards,
European.

 

[TheSlasher]

Cancel it.

 

[European-DJ]

Final update

I have been away from this board for about a month, focusing on my finals and going on vacation, why I did not find the time to update this post.
As I stated, initially I pursued this girl like any other – for the thrill of the chase. When I got what I wanted, I lost interest, and I decided to go “ALL-in”.

So I did, with “All of my heart”, I did whatever I was told NOT to do, told her I wanted to be nice to her, was nice to her, invited her to dinners, gave her all the love, affection and attention she could possibly get (never bought her gifts though). After all of this, I could sense she was losing interest, being cold, acting distant – just as preached on this board – she even texted me that it was nice “…for once, knowing exactly where I have the guy, so I do not have to worry about it…”.

Now that I knew I had kissed enough Azz, I decided to do a complete 180, and see what happened.

For the first two weeks, I almost completely ignored all of her messages, only reacting with interest every second time she hinted a sleepover (sex). Within the first couple of days, I could see the warmth in her messages increase; I could hear her voice becoming softer whenever dealing with me and her attitude becoming more aware of my actions, wants and needs.

She had started asking what was wrong, if anything had changed, if I had lost interest and so forth – my reply was usually just a plain simple answer, stating I had been busy lately.

By the start of the third week, she had transformed completely, writing me goodnight and good morning every day, sending me half-nudes on SnapChat in the late evenings and answering my messages within the minute.

I decided to give in a bit – but just a bit - acting less of a douche, and giving her a bit more attention and a bit more time – she loved this, didn’t lose her interest as she had done initially, and was still head over heels for me.

By the fifth week, my exams was over, I haven’t been giving her much more attention than earlier, not invited her a single time for dinner (she had invited me three times), only inviting her over late at night for a booty call.

Guess what happened last week, this girl, that had initially lost interest in me due to my “overwhelming” care/interest for her, had fallen in love, and stated that she “Love Me”, something she claimed only to have said to her previous boyfriend (she is 20)… the nice guy she had stepped on, but the douchebag she wanted;

This just comes to show that the nice guy approach seldomly work, and that girls appreciate the challenge – and apparently what they cannot have.
I feel like my 180 has been successful, BUT.. I doubt it could have been pulled out if I were in reality into this girl; it would simply have been too hard acting as if I was not interested, because the offers kept coming in. The more I kept pulling out, the more this girl seemed to be reaching toward me.

 

[European-DJ]

Final update

(Double post)

 

[thunder_god]

Thx for updating this thread. It has been quite the eye opener and a lesson I will take to heart forever.

 

[TheSlasher]

Thx for updating this thread. It has been quite the eye opener and a lesson I will take to heart forever.

Agree with this guy.

 

[VladPatton]

Excellent experiment. Repped.