Taking their emotional outburst too seriously

[Pandora]

The young women in my life will act out emotionally, I will react, and then they will get annoyed that I took them seriously. They can not control their emotions. They can't help it. This slutty girl gets rude with me in my car. I tell her off. Months later she brings it up how I was so angry. It was almost like she was saying " why did you take me serious enough to get that angry".

Girls I am involved with have told me versions of " just let me vent and then I will be back to normal". Or they will say " don't get too mad when I am emotional".

They even do it in arguments. They will present some illogical argument and if you take their illogical argument too seriously they start to look at you like an idiot.

They know that they are chaotic. What they feel in any given moment changes. They can feel totally differently 5 minutes from now. Men will never understand the emotional storm that goes on inside a female. So many opposing feelings, anger, rage, happiness, cognitive dissonance all happening at once.

The catch 22 is that if you don't check bad behavior then they lose respect for you. If you check them too much then you are taking them too seriously and then they also lose respect for you. Its almost a lose lose situation lol.

For example the world took this feminism thing too seriously. It was just a giant **** test. They don't even believe all that wage gap crap etc. They look at us crazy when we get on panels and argue against their retarded arguments.

 

[Redwood]

I would take a break from dating right now brother

 

[Gamisch]

Each woman is different so there's never a one size fits all formula that works.

As we know, sometimes the reasons for her irrationality have nothing to do with you. Or with you alone. A woman can act like this when she's on her period, wants to leave you, cheats on you, stress at work ect. Sometimes its difficult to tell what is what and why.

Still, I like the advice to be a rock. To be unfazed by her behavior. Because even though you are right about checking her at times, you actually don't want that dynamic happening too much. Once you are constantly calling her bs out, it's a toxic situation. Probably fed by the more negative things I just described like cheating, double agendas, or even worst; plain craziness.

Tbh you probably (like me and a lotta men) have more experience with toxic women than with.."normal" women.

 

[bmp2cpm]

Pandora, what you are describing here sure sound like sh*t tests in order to assess your level of commitment.

Be careful here…fail too many sh*t tests and the girl will either leave or worse cheat.

Calling a woman out on her sh*t test is a legitimate response, but should she be reserved for when she is over the top.

I bet if you reflect on previous interactions, you will see a pattern and understand better what triggers these sh*t tests.

 

[Stoic]

You already know this, but it's worth remembering. Women are very emotional creatures. I always think of it as it is her job to recognize she's an emotional creature, but then to also keep her emotions under control to a large degree.

The man's job is to be like a rock, logical, stoic, largely unaffected by her ever changing moods. You act like you've seen it a million times. Like you are dealing with a child that hasn't had enough sleep. Something to the effect of, "listen, I think the world of you, but you are way over the top right now, when you are ready to interact civilly with me, I'll be here."

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

NAWALT. However, they are ALL like this to a degree.

Once that honeymoon phase is over, her true self comes out.

The damaged ones who have not dealt with their inner demons can put on a phenomenal persona to the outside world, then behind closed doors...watch out.

The catch 22 is that if you don't check bad behavior then they lose respect for you. If you check them too much then you are taking them too seriously and then they also lose respect for you. Its almost a lose lose situation lol.

Exactly. Sean Connery had the answer to this one . He could have explained it a little better though IMO.

Sean Connery on slapping women uncut - YouTube

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

You already know this, but it's worth remembering. Women are very emotional creatures. I always think of it as it is her job to recognize she's an emotional creature, but then to also keep her emotions under control to a large degree.

The man's job is to be like a rock, logical, stoic, largely unaffected by her ever changing moods. You act like you've seen it a million times. Like you are dealing with a child that hasn't had enough sleep. Something to the effect of, "listen, I think the world of you, but you are way over the top right now, when you are ready to interact civilly with me, I'll be here."

Sure, understand. True. However, there's always a point, a line...

What if you're stuck under the same roof as her and she's busting down the door to the spare bedroom you're currently sleeping in?

What if you have kids with her?

 

[Pandora]

Still, I like the advice to be a rock. To be unfazed by her behavior. Because even though you are right about checking her at times, you actually don't want that dynamic happening too much.

Yes you are right but this is incredibly difficult. It is difficult because in order to be indifferent to their emotions you have to not take them seriously at all. If you don't take them seriously it is difficult to really want to invest in them.

This is the catch 22. Either you dont take them seriously at all and totally objectify them or you take them seriously.

It can be done but it is a delicate balance that takes a lot of skill.

 

[Pandora]

NAWALT. However, they are ALL like this to a degree.

Once that honeymoon phase is over, her true self comes out.

The damaged ones who have not dealt with their inner demons can put on a phenomenal persona to the outside world, then behind closed doors...watch out.


Exactly. Sean Connery had the answer to this one . He could have explained it a little better though IMO.

Sean Connery on slapping women uncut - YouTube

Exactly. Sean Connery was on to something. I dont endorse beating the crap out of a woman because that is pure evil. Women however tell you that they want a man that can " check them". They are begging us to keep their emotions regulated for them.

 

[Pandora]

You already know this, but it's worth remembering. Women are very emotional creatures. I always think of it as it is her job to recognize she's an emotional creature, but then to also keep her emotions under control to a large degree.

The man's job is to be like a rock, logical, stoic, largely unaffected by her ever changing moods. You act like you've seen it a million times. Like you are dealing with a child that hasn't had enough sleep. Something to the effect of, "listen, I think the world of you, but you are way over the top right now, when you are ready to interact civilly with me, I'll be here."

Another poster said that same advice and I totally agree. I am just saying that this is the most difficult thing to do in a relationship. It is much easier said than done. When someone that you support is mouthing off and saying that you are wrong it is incredibly difficult to not be like " stfu you cant even support yourself and you are telling me im wrong" lol.

 

[Pandora]

Pandora, what you are describing here sure sound like sh*t tests in order to assess your level of commitment.

Be careful here…fail too many sh*t tests and the girl will either leave or worse cheat.

Calling a woman out on her sh*t test is a legitimate response, but should she be reserved for when she is over the top.

I bet if you reflect on previous interactions, you will see a pattern and understand better what triggers these sh*t tests.

Well what usually happens is every once in a while we disagree on something. I am usually correct because the female is just acting on emotions. Let me give you an example that happened today.

Her: " When we have a baby lets get a cat ( she loves cats)"

Me: " Yeh thats cool but we should probably wait until the child is 1 or 2 yrs old. Cats can be dangerous to have around newborns. I know it's rare but it might hit the baby".

Her: " No that does not happen. Cats are safe" " I guess I dont know anything about animals"

Argument ensues but she tries her best to control her emotions but she is raging inside. We are both trying to be diplomatic but im pissed.

A quick Google check showed that yes cats have been know to smother a baby to death by accident.

Her: Basically backtracking and changing her original statement " oh i never said i needed a cat blah blah"

This is the type of stuff that pisses me off lol. Incompetent emotional creatures rebelling against every decision you make. To be fair she is usually very cooperative but I had to train her to obey.

 

[Gamisch]

You already know this, but it's worth remembering. Women are very emotional creatures. I always think of it as it is her job to recognize she's an emotional creature, but then to also keep her emotions under control to a large degree.

The man's job is to be like a rock, logical, stoic, largely unaffected by her ever changing moods. You act like you've seen it a million times. Like you are dealing with a child that hasn't had enough sleep. Something to the effect of, "listen, I think the world of you, but you are way over the top right now, when you are ready to interact civilly with me, I'll be here."

If you are over 30 and the majority of your relationships were toxic, you dont even (have to) pretend like you've seen it a million times.

The definition of insanity is...that's why these types of interactions can literally drive a man crazy.

Well what usually happens is every once in a while we disagree on something. I am usually correct because the female is just acting on emotions. Let me give you an example that happened today.

Her: " When we have a baby lets get a cat ( she loves cats)"

Me: " Yeh thats cool but we should probably wait until the child is 1 or 2 yrs old. Cats can be dangerous to have around newborns. I know it's rare but it might hit the baby".

Her: " No that does not happen. Cats are safe" " I guess I dont know anything about animals"

Argument ensues but she tries her best to control her emotions but she is raging inside. We are both trying to be diplomatic but im pissed.

A quick Google check showed that yes cats have been know to smother a baby to death by accident.

Her: Basically backtracking and changing her original statement " oh i never said i needed a cat blah blah"

This is the type of stuff that pisses me off lol. Incompetent emotional creatures rebelling against every decision you make. To be fair she is usually very cooperative but I had to train her to obey.

Well, if you build on a unstable foundation, only time will tell you what kinds of issues will arise.

The unstable foundation doesn't care you try to build a beautiful castle with good materials ; the bad foundation will make it collapse sooner or later.

Seems like you need a different type of woman. One that suits your own style of being better. Again a better/other foundation.

Or you should change some things about yourself. The other hard route but not less interesting. If you manage to become this unfazable dude, you'll benefit from this in every relationship you'll have with women. In this specific example you should already KNOW that it might (WOULD!) become a atmosphere poisoning debate. So you avoid it. Subtlety. Or obviously .

With women like these I've learned to rather ask than lecture. So you would say " do you think it's save to have a cat and baby together?" And let HER answer and lecture herself!

Lastly I wonder if you really want a baby thus cont(r)act for ever evah with this woman...sounds like you are rather enforcing leadership upon her, while she keeps fighting for independence. That's tiresome.

 

[Pandora]

If you are over 30 and the majority of your relationships were toxic, you dont even (have to) pretend like you've seen it a million times.

The definition of insanity is...that's why these types of interactions can literally drive a man crazy.

Well, if you build on a unstable foundation, only time will tell you what kinds of issues will arise.

The unstable foundation doesn't care you try to build a beautiful castle with good materials ; the bad foundation will make it collapse sooner or later.

Seems like you need a different type of woman. One that suits your own style of being better. Again a better/other foundation.

Or you should change some things about yourself. The other hard route but not less interesting. If you manage to become this unfazable dude, you'll benefit from this in every relationship you'll have with women. In this specific example you should already KNOW that it might (WOULD!) become a atmosphere poisoning debate. So you avoid it. Subtlety. Or obviously .

With women like these I've learned to rather ask than lecture. So you would say " do you think it's save to have a cat and baby together?" And let HER answer and lecture herself!

Lastly I wonder if you really want a baby thus cont(r)act for ever evah with this woman...sounds like you are rather enforcing leadership upon her, while she keeps fighting for independence. That's tiresome.

Yeh man I hear you. I never said all my relationships were toxic. I am saying that in general relationships between men and women are difficult.

They are difficult because the female is highly emotional. The only way to have peace is to treat them like a child. But even with a child it is easy to lose your cool.

The problem is that if you respond to her like a child that means you cant have respect for her. They are mutally exclusive.

We like to say " you just found the wrong girl". They are almost all the wrong girl. All women act like children ( all young women anyway).

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

@Pandora, to me, you're spot on.

IMO, there's two types of guys who let these types of indiscretions just roll off their chest:

Type A: Beta simp, pleaser type. If she gets mad at him for something that she in fact caused. He will go out and buy her flowers just to try to appease her. "Happy wife, happy life" type mentality.

Type B: User. He'll laugh on the inside at her childishness. He doesn't care, he thinks it's cute and funny. She's providing something to him, sex, money, something...all the while he's bullsh1tting her on his true intentions. Therefore, he doesn't really care. He doesn't respect her or think of her as an equal. She's an object to him.


BTW: This thread and the "Heartfelt Apology" thread are very similar.

 

[Pandora]

@Pandora, to me, you're spot on.

IMO, there's two types of guys who let these types of indiscretions just roll off their chest:

Type A: Beta simp, pleaser type. If she gets mad at him for something that she in fact caused. He will go out and buy her flowers just to try to appease her. "Happy wife, happy life" type mentality.

Type B: User. He'll laugh on the inside at her childishness. He doesn't care, he thinks it's cute and funny. She's providing something to him, sex, money, something...all the while he's bullsh1tting her on his true intentions. Therefore, he doesn't really care. He doesn't respect her or think of her as an equal. She's an object to him.


BTW: This thread and the "Heartfelt Apology" thread are very similar.

Bro this spot on. Your articulated what I am trying to say. The type B guy is ideal. But in order to be the type B guy you ACTUALLY have to not give a damn about the girl deep down inside. So its a Catch 22.

You cant love and respect a female and ALSO be able to let her stupidity roll off your back.

 

[bmp2cpm]

Well what usually happens is every once in a while we disagree on something. I am usually correct because the female is just acting on emotions. Let me give you an example that happened today.

Her: " When we have a baby lets get a cat ( she loves cats)"

Translation:

“I’m getting mixed signals from Pandora.

I’m unsure about his commitment level.

I should do a little fishing expedition to reel in his commitment.

Let’s talk about a baby but I’ll add in a cat to lessen the seriousness of this sh*t test.”

Pandora gives his response, as usual.

Her: “Son of b*tch! I’m even more unsure about his commitment level after this sh*t test. I need the come up with a bigger sh*t test.”

Rinse and repeat as her sh*t tests become more and more emotional.

 

[Pandora]

Translation:

“I’m getting mixed signals from Pandora.

I’m unsure about his commitment level.

I should do a little fishing expedition to reel in his commitment.

Let’s talk about a baby but I’ll add in a cat to lessen the seriousness of this sh*t test.”

Pandora gives his response, as usual.

Her: “Son of b*tch! I’m even more unsure about his commitment level after this sh*t test. I need the come up with a bigger sh*t test.”

Rinse and repeat as her sh*t tests become more and more emotional.

Hahah you might be right.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Pandora,
Be like the Chinese from whom one may learn a lot,just smile and be sympathetic,if they irrupt like Vesuvius,and a Tzumani threatens to drown you,dont swim aginst it,just go under till it has passed come up and act as though nothing has happened....Fer Chris'sake never,but never try and reason with them,they aint wired for that!