Success with the Friendzone

[Mr Wright]

When I got into all this, the one thing which I wanted most was to be able to get out of the friendzone. When I was younger, it was hit and miss whether a girl was attracted to me or not and sometimes I'd go in too nicey nicey and end up basically being the gay best friend. But I have a couple of stories about how I've managed to beat the friendzone trap and power through with girls who used to say things to me like "I see you like a brother" or "you're like my gay best friend," yet I managed to recover from that(somehow) and actually screw these girls. I have other examples but I feel these stories could be some great marker posts and for guys who want to get out of the friendzone it could provide useful insight.


Before I start there are some important things that guys need to consider when escaping the friendzone:

• Why should a girl possibly risk your friendship? If she's a quality girl this makes it even harder because she will have options. You're her friend so she knows you, you stand out in some way, the fact that she knows you doesnt have to be a weakness, it can be a strength. Think about it from her point of you? Why should she give herself to you? You're her friend, at the start you will get a lot of these objections because it could be shocking for her.
• This does not happen quickly. Like most things in game, this is a slow persistent process, where you are showing her you are now a strong minded male, who is sexual and that you have selected her and by no uncertain terms you do not need this. If she knows you have other options, it helps because either way, you dont really care. Going away and coming back a "better" person also helps.
• Her opinion of you will have to change. If she hasn't touched your penis for the last however many years, it will take a change in mindset for her to actually do that. She will have to start seeing you as a sexual creature otherwise you're dead in the water. However, this does not mean you just go "yeah I banged this chick last week," you need to escalate on her. I have found this works best over time because then she can get used to the idea of you changing and being sexual. This means you have to lead, escalate but also know when to hold back, what your goal is and you know the girl well, you can use that to your addvantage.

1) The first time I ever got out of the friendzone

Background: Girl I went to school with, I thought she was hot. She used to constantly ask me for advice about some guy she thought was hot and I had mutual friends with this guy but yeah in general I was a pvssy about things.

How things changed: This was a few years ago but I specifically remember she came round to my house and I tried it on with her and she was having none of it, literally none of it. Anyway we spoke less for I'd say about 6 months and during this time, I started a FWB relationship with a close friend of hers. Then one day out of the blue I invited her around again, she said she wasnt sure about it, the time got changed a few times but eventually she came round. We just had a friendly catch up and watched some TV but then I turned the topic sexual and talked about her sexual experience. Eventually we got to the top of her getting licked out and she said she'd never had that done to her because she felt uncomfortable it. Spoiler, at this point 15 minutes later I was licking her out but coming up to that she was still showing no signs that this would happen. I also remember something happening which I dont recommend, I tried to escalate on her physically in quite an awkward setting, it was too contrived and even though it work I wouldnt recommend it because I remember trying to touch her breasts and her batting me away. But after that I verbally escalated on her telling her about how receiving oral sex is an enjoyable experience whilst looking into her eyes and then that was the point where I got the first glimpse that she was aroused. Then I started putting the hand up her skirt and she never stopped me...and I wont go into the rest.



2) Escaping with a hot close friend

Background: This is easily the most attractive girl that I know, gets attention everywhere she goes, when I was friends with her I know she was dating 2-3 guys but shes a princess type, at this stage she was still a virgin and since I've discovered she was stringing these guys along, going on date after date and not giving anything up. When we first met, she hated me.

How things changed: This girl was my girlfriend for a year and half so she has given me a pretty accurate description of how it went for her. She gradually grew to like me as a friend, we got on and even though I was always aware of how hot she was, I was never felt the pressure to get with her. Anyway one time we were out and we made out but she said she regretted it the next day, even had a chat about how it couldnt happen ever again. I remember I started to fancy her, we started spending more time together. During the time we spent together, I realised what she wanted, shes just romantic, respects herself a lot and expects to be treated in a certain way. She said she was aware that I liked her but she did nothing about it because she was used to her male friends eventually wanting more from her. But I started leading, we spoke a lot and the turning point was when we saw each other for the first time in about a month. We were in my room at uni on skype to friends and there was so much sexual tension, shes told me since that when she was sitting on my lap she was really wet and she wished that I kissed her. There's a lesson if you feel it(because I did) go for it. As it happens the next day we made out. The next part was steering her towards a relationship because she was unsure but I assured her that our friendship would still be strong and anything else would come naturally. Shes the only girl I've ever been in love with and together we both agree that it was so much better that we were friends in the first place, so use that. Use your friendship with a girl(as long as its genuine) as a solid base to build a relationship off of.


3) Childhood friend(toughest escape to date)

Background: Been friends since we went to school together when we were like 9. But then she had to get all sexy, took me a while to notice. We've been on holiday together as mates, I sort of look after her like a sister sometimes, she's a lovely girl. She had basically seen me as a gay best friend.

How things changed: This one is the most recent, as in this weekend and something I have been working on for a while. I have no romantic intentions for this girl and she knows that because I have explicitly told her that. We live quite far away during term time so I can only escalate via whatsapp, which can come across as not so serious. She says I'm a flirt and I've dated some of her friends. But recently we have been casually flirting, nothing too heavy until one day we got onto the topic of us sharing a girl together(shes bi) and then I started to notice just subtle signals. I'd make my intentions clear and she'd sort of laugh them off but one time when she was drunk, she gave the game away. We were in a club with her friend, who I used to date. Anyway because I was flirting with both of them, the girls friend basically spent all night trying coming on to me. And I could just tell that my friend was jealous, she snapped at me because her friend was seeing someone and just got all weird.

So this weekend, we go to the pub with mates...then we move on to a club and I've standardly run off talking to some girl but then I come back. I feel really good, great mojo and everything so I lead her to the smoking area, we're chatting and I can just sense that she wants me and she cant help but give in, so I kiss her but I back away first and say "woah this is a bit crazy" because it was something that had been built up to for such a long time. Also recently I've been having more success when I dont just go all out in the club and just hold back and be a little aloof, we leave and we lost a friend which annoying and almost killed the mood, she was insisting she wanted to get a cab home but I just told her to call one from mine. We got in and she "stayed the night"


But of course prevention is the best cure

4) A little example of how I prevent such crap from even happening these days. A girl on course at uni, my type, tall dark hair, light eyes. Casually had my eye on her all year(had a gf so didnt even attempt to talk to her) I got talking to her one day, we had a blast, got on instantly and she said to "oh I can tell we'll be such good friends," even when I could feel she found me attractive. But she was seeing a guy, however, as prevention is better than cure, I just told her straight up something along the lines of "we do get on well but I find you attractive and basically want to fvck you" (obviously not word for word but the vibe was right to say that kind of thing) and her eyes lit up and she agreed. As a side note, I can see why some guys dont trust girls because she introduced the guy she was seeing to me about 10 minutes after this conversation and I was back at hers 2 hours later. But the point I'm making is that with girls you have to lead, it's so important, especially with getting out of the friendzone. You will get a load of crap thrown at you from her about how they dont want to ruin the friendship and how they are unsure and you have to be man enough to navigate her through it all.


It's a messy process which you have to really have to be in the moment, there is a way out if you are just unapologetically attractive to her, she cant turn that part of her brain off. If you're making her wet, she will respond. Of course you have to adapt your approach depending on if you just want to sleep with her casually or if you want a relationship.

 

[Zarky]

When you're a kid, like you are OP, it's very difficult to avoid the friendzone simply because all the women you know are either family or school friends. However, once you get into your late 20s, 30s and beyond, the whole "friend zone" problem becomes less and less relevant.

Just FYI. Worry about other things, IMHO.

 

[Olivia]

When you're a kid, like you are OP, it's very difficult to avoid the friendzone simply because all the women you know are either family or school friends. However, once you get into your late 20s, 30s and beyond, the whole "friend zone" problem becomes less and less relevant.

Just FYI. Worry about other things, IMHO.

That is tru

 

[Deep Dish]

via Roissy:

1. Knock her out of her comfort zone with a surprise flirtatious vibe. Don’t overextend this. Too much shock to her system will drive her into a cocoon. You want to give her a small buzz, not an electric storm that immediately activates her anti-beta male, egg-preserving bïtch shield.

2. After your flirty expectation sabotage, promptly pull back into beta orbiter mode as if nothing unusual happened. Your goal is to strike a hot iron at the girl’s subconscious without alerting her conscious awake state. If she calls you out on your flirt, act like she’s weird for bringing it up. “I hope you don’t get the wrong idea” is a great line to drop at that moment.

3. Leave her on a good (i.e. congruent) note. But leave her for at least two weeks. During the interim, if your LJBF is strong, she will attempt to contact you asking why, as a friend, you’ve been incommunicado. Again, chastise her for being needy, and tell her you’ve been busy. Do not explain yourself beyond that.

4. Meet her again. Repeat the above three steps, with the exception that you will amp up the intensity and frequency of your sexual, aloof vibe each new time you hang out with her. You are in the process of acclimating her to your new, sexual self.

5. You can speed up the process by actively flirting with other girls in her field of view. Jealousy is the most powerful hacksaw against the chains of the friendzone.

6. When enough time has passed, and your shift from asexual lump to ****y bastard is almost complete, drop the following line on her (with brow deviously furrowed in deep, phony concern): “You’ve been flirting like crazy. I think we should be apart for a while so we don’t risk our friendship.” Wham. Game dynamite with the fuse attached right to her hamster’s anus. You’ve implied she’s falling for you, you’ve disqualified yourself by insisting that you need time away from her, and you’ve flipped the script so that any further interaction would require some amount of chasing by her.

7. If she agrees with you, admit defeat (to yourself) and move on. The LJBF was too powerful to overcome. If you have made an impact on her perception of you, her attitude will be different. She will act confused, half-heartedly agreeing only as a default response with nothing better to say, or disagreeing in mild protest. “Nooo, I’m not flirting with you.” (The very act of verbalizing this will put her in a chaser frame of mind.) Or: “Nooo, we can still be friends.” Either way, insist that you’re right to spend time apart until “the heat cools off”. But if she can “control herself around you”, you might be OK with hanging with her some more.

8. Segue like a diabetic tourist. Forcefully move the conversation away from the drama that just went down. Act like she’s a girl you just met. Gauge for positive reception. If she attempts to pull you back into a friendship frame, the attitude you want to avoid is sounding resentful. She’s testing you for congruency with your new identity. A funny quip like “Oh, man, it’s just not the same anymore. I already miss the old you” should do the trick to pass her test. Again, hit on another girl in front of her. Leave prematurely.

9. At some point you’ll have to make a bold move for her vagina. This is when verbal game stops and physical game revs into high gear. A lot of recovering betas make the mistake of letting the attraction and comfort phase of pickup drag on too long, for fear of losing the good feelings they are engendering in the woman to a sloppy bedroom move. “You’ve never seen this part of my life” is a great line to use on a former LJBF to persuade her to come to your place. It ignites a sense of wonder in her that she will presume is missing with a man she (thinks she) knows very well.

10. Does the above sound like a lot of work? You’re right, it is! Accept the challenge of converting an LJBF for its own sake, but if lay efficiency is your goal, you’d be better off pawning that girl buddy into social circle game with her hot, and relatively unfamiliar, friends.

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/06/14/how-do-i-get-out-of-the-friend-zone/​