Stuck in Life... What to do?

[silverwex]

Hey all,

Right Ive been stuck in a rut for the past (long) while in regard to life, and I dont have a clue what to do. I have a few options which are listed below - any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Also, I dont have many years left to travel, Im getting old!

BTW, I have about $4500 (3800 euro) to do something with.

OPTION 1
I always liked the idea of the States (Tampa, Cali, etc) and over the past while Ive been thinking of just going over there, try get some job and an apartment and see what happens. American chicks really appeal to me (and I love the way you guys approach them in the middle of the day in the middle of the street! lol, you wouldnt get away with that here!) Only thing is I COULDNT do this on my own as I dont think id be mentally strong enough for such a big step. If one of my mates decided to go along with it, it could be a real possibility! (anyone wanna offer me a job and accomm! lol)


OPTION 2
Get a FT job in my hometown (which is kinda crap at the moment - no-one about and really quiet, also the ladies scene isnt the greatest!) and get an apartment. Only thing is if I do this I may get too comfortable and not feel like doing anything else (travel etc.) and become set in my ways. One advantage is that I have a lot of friends around here at this moment in time.


OPTION 3
My good friend has moved to Essex, England and is there until next summer working. I tried my hand at england once before and got so homesick I had to come home - BUT he may have some contacts for jobs, accomm, etc... Something which I didnt have the last time I went.


OPTION 4
Continue to do what Im doing at the moment - PT job, crappy pay, boring evenings living at home, crappy weather - only thing that keeps me sane is my friends, social life at the weekends and, of course, my lifting!


OPTION 5
Move to a small university city only 45mins down the road. Has a great social life, nice chicks but I dont know anyone down there at this moment in time (damn I shoulda moved down there last year!).

So cmon guys! Help your bro out! lol. Anyone have any other 'OPTIONS'? Id love to hear em!

Cheers.

 

[dannyc]

Number 1 dude. Whats stopping you?

Go to Cali, there will be chicks galore out there. Mentally not right? Dude fuk that! You got to get out there and experience ****. When will you ever be mentally right then? There is no perfect time. Yes you will be alone but get a job, you'll get some friends through there OR try to get into college here. Is that possible?

All the other options suck ass. 5 doesnt seem bad, if you were to have a back up.

 

[silverwex]

Cheers for the reply man.

Thinking about it from the 3rd Person view it would seem so cool for people to say: 'Oh yeah! Silver went to Cali for a while!' or if it all came about perfectly it would be great to turn back and say 'Well, I did it! How mnay people have done that!' and it would be a great life experience.

But, the feeling of homesickness while in the UK was so intense - kinda scary to say the least!

 

[WesCottII]

I don't mean to be blunt, but you gonna let this homesickness stop you doing anything?

Moving to the USA is a chance most would kill for. Go for it, beat the homesickness, or it beats you.

 

[C00L]

save up 10k then move to america.

 

[Not Quite There]

I think you need to think about what you want to be doing long term mate.


Going travelling is a great experience, and can change you as a person, it definitly has matured me, but if you think your in a rut now, wait until you come back from travelling the world to your same old little town that never changes with the same old people doing the same old stuff, and all your new friends are 1000's of miles away and you have drifted away from all your old friends...

Also, your 23, same age as me, whilst it isn't exactly old, your not getting any younger, if you ever want to get some kind of career behing you, your better to do it now, because as you get older, people won't be so keen on you.

From what i gather though, it soudns like you don't know what you want in life, maybe going travelling for 6 months and a year will help you make your mind up and will be good.

What i'm getting at is, you will have the time of your life travelling, and maybe moving to the US might be right for you, but maybe your just running away from your life right now instead of trying to improve it at home. If you make a few insteps to improve it now, it may mean in a few years time you could be in a much better position than you will be after coming back travelling.

I've travelled a bit and had some amazing times and met some cool people, meeting girls in america and only having to speak and theyre already in love with you for your accent is a lot of fun, but that stuff gets old fast, theres not much future in it.

Right now I am back living at home, working in my new job trying to progress, and am looking out to get a mortgage on something. I've got friends all over the country, but am trying to spend my weekends at home o build up a social life here, at least for the time being anyhow, as i said in your other thread, once I get my professional qualifications, I may choose to work abroad then. but my plan is to have some kind of property here which i can rent out whilst away, because its most likely only going to go up in value.

I'm waffling on now, but what i'm trying to get across is you need to think a bit more long term about your goals/aspirations and why your in a rut exactly.

saying that though, maybe moving to the US might be the best thing you could ever do! who knows.....

 

[Scrumtulescence]

Dude, you should move to the US. Your current situation sounds like a rut, and there are a lot of places in the US that would be a nice change of place.

I'm in sort of the same position (except for the "not being american" thing). I'm 24, done with school, and I pretty much have fvck all for ideas on what I want to do...short-term, medium-term and long-term. The main problem is I had a bit of a rough pre-college life (mostly because of my overbearing, domineering mom), so I didn't really have my own life in highschool, and I had no life in college because I just didn't know how to connect with people and eventually became depressed and solitary.

So I'm now already in my mid-20s which freaks me out, done with "the best time of your life!" forever (late-teens/early-20s/school), have no social life or friends anymore, and aside from living on my own I feel like I've had about as much life experience as a 13 year old (yes even in that area).

All I want to do now in my life is to have fun and make up for all the missed experiences, but I'm forced to look for a job in a field I hate (IT) because I need the money, have some debt, and it's the only field where I could currently make significantly above minimum wage. I know I could work for a long while and save up some money to do something "fun" later, but I'd like to enjoy the last days of my youth youth while I can, and I imagine the more set into a career and adult life you are, the more difficult it is to break away from it.

And quite honestly at this point I don't really give a damn about career. My age is just a number, and I never really experienced what highschool and college life were like outside of academics. I just have no idea what to do with my life, and the thought of giving up on trying to make up for all those lost years and just resigning my life to the mundane 9-5 world is the worst feeling I've ever felt.

 

[seanchai]

What uni town would you move to? Maynooth?

Why not move to Dublin? I loved living there. If you decided you like all the Americans around in the city (sooo many Yankees there, most studying abroad or working on a visa after college), you could move to Cali afterwards. Expensive as sh!t though.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Americans have options like the Peace Corp. and Americorp. They combine travel with social service that looks good on a job application. Maybe your government or the EU offers similar opportunities in Europe. Or are there limited work opportunites in other EU countries?

Don't come to the US without having a job. It puts too much pressure on you to have to make money under the table. If you are here on a student visa, you can work at on-campus jobs.

Cruise Ship?
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=cruise+ship+jobs&btnG=Google+Search

 

[Diaoz]

The bigger question is if 1, how?

I'm considering taking a break from life, just leave it all behind and starting anew somewhere as well. But without a job or working visa, one can't stay in the States forever yeah? Getting one is one thing, getting one legally is another. Last thing I want is some post-911 immigration law locking me up

 

[silverwex]

Thanks for all the replies lads, excellent stuff. My dad has dual citizenship (Irish/American) is this an advantage?

but I'd like to enjoy the last days of my youth youth while I can

This is where Im 'coming' from. Truth being, I dont care much for long term career at the moment as I dont have a clue what to do.

So the common concensus is OPTION 1 then? - interesting.

Seanchai - No, waterford.

Bible_Belt: Good advice re: getting a job first, but how do you get a job without physically being there for an interview?

Diaoz: Good question, will look into that. Tho theres always the green card, J1 Visa etc...

Scrumtulescence: So what ya gonna do man?

Not Quite There: Thanks man, gave me some things to think about...

C00L: Why save 10k? Is that not way too much?

WesCott: People being blunt with me really gets me going, I hate when people are too nice, lol.

 

[C00L]

C00L: Why save 10k? Is that not way too much?

get your mind right homie, theres no such thing as way too much when it comes to cashola.

Making a transatlantic move is expensive sh1t. Plus having more money at your disposal will make things alot easier for you considering 10k will cover a years worth of rent or more (or less) depending on where you move.

That little bit of money you have is going to be gone fast if you move here to the states.

So like i said, save up a good deal of loot then move. You will have the cushioning of a nice bank account to keep you alive while you start hustlin up more cash wherever you land.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I meant have a green card, which will allow you to get a legal job. I think your dad can sponsor you.

http://faq.visapro.com/Family-Green-Card-FAQ2.asp

The paperwork is difficult, but it is possible to do it without an attorney. The fees alone, when I sponsored my then-wife ten years ago were almost $2,000 and in the post 9/11 environment, I don't know how long the wait would be. Before 9/11, it was about 18 months from filing until the green card interview.

http://uk.dir.yahoo.com/Education/Programmes/Student_Exchange/

 

[Diaoz]

question, if I don't have a relative in the states?

 

[comic_relief]

option 1

Comic_Relief

 

[dirtyvibe]

I suggest option 1 then joining the Irish Mafia. =)