Struggling with women's inability to keep their word

[Atom Smasher]

Let me add that I think this is the SS forum at its finest - A mature discussion completely absent of flames (so far). It's great to be able to kick ideas around with mutual respect even when we disagree.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Qualification and force-framing will solve a lot of that. An example:

"I like how you keep your word and have principles. Between you and me a lot of women these days are really poor relationship material because they can't honor their promises. I'm glad you're not like that."

It's kludgey a bit because I'm trying to give an example that tracks to what you need to do, but I think you get the point. You qualify them for meeting your standards, then disqualify others for a specific reason that you dislike. This will cause them, for a short period anyway, to rise up to your standards and be wary of falling out of favor.

You know it's funny, Nutz, I came up with that technique on my own a few years ago and used it consciously to great effect, and I completely forgot about it. Excellent reminder. Thank you. It's back in my repertoire.

 

[jophil28]

But I have caught her not keeping her word several times, and I have been having to teach her that it is important that we keep our word. I feel like a kindergarten teacher, because that's when this stuff is usually covered.

You are right, of course.
"Teaching" a woman to keep her word and honor her promises is tedious and burdensome . You are in fact, parenting her - and you are doing work that should have been done by her caregivers a long time ago..
You and I (and perhaps a few others here) have lived in a time when women did not behave with the entitlement mentality that they display today.
IF you cast your mind back to the seventies and even earlier, MEN made the rules and set the guidelines, and woman followed and complied. The consequences were understood and they were often severe.

For a start, there were fewer automatic "free passes" for women back then- iF she screwed up the office she got her marching orders and she was replaced.
No HR shrews back then to come to her rescue .
If she broke a core agreement in her marriage, she ended up in court with a divorce and a meagre property settlement - all added to the shame that she experienced as a "divorced woman".

So what has changed?
In a nutshell, men have allowed their own beliefs and their own behavior to be hijacked and changed by numerous forces which masqueraded as "fairness and equality", but which really were designed to destroy tradition and custom and shift power from HIM to HER.
And what we have today is the inevitable result of the success of that process.

Women have always "been emotional" but they have not always acted on their emotions becaus to do so brought loss.
Awareness of potential consequences can apply some some powerful brakes .

So what can be done by us to re-assert our rightful leadership ?
Firstly it is wise to assume that women no longer come to us with a functioning moral compass . It is up to us to create one for her, oil it, test it, calibrate it, and hand it to her with instructions on its proper use.
Secondly, the imposition of consequences in vital. Mostly this involves no more than a temporary withdrawal of what she values most - our attention and affection.

Ultimately we need to find the courage to reclaim our just leadership and discard those women who do not like it.