Today I ****ed up in my oral debate. Bad. Really ****ing bad...
It was bad to the point that the class panel of 'class judges' (Student Moot Court council) laughed in disbelief, and one of them clasped his hands over his head 'like wtf was that'. My professor gave me her feedback as "Excellent debate," but I know it's complete bull ****, it's graded on 'Good faith effort' and she softened her comment probably because she doesn't want to discourage me for my next debate tomorrow.
After my speech was over, I sat down, and my debate partner next to me put her hands over me, along with several other classmates putting their hands over my shoulder and arm to comfort me like some wounded dog. I thanked them and tried not to mind it but it was gut wrenching that all I could do was say 'thank you' and ignore it.
What hurts the most is the subtle side laugh a friend of mine gave after another friend looked over my draft, and asked if "I even wrote this?" I respect them a lot and they are extremely blunt and truthful, it's rare in my opinion to see that in law school, but I feel like no one takes me seriously as a professional.
I've been taking beatings throughout this first year and I keep thinking to myself, "I go through with this, and it's going to get better." But I've been taking losses and losses and even more losses, and I feel like a failure at my school now.
I don't want anyone in my family to worry with how much I'm struggling with school right now.
I don't have any intentions on quitting, but I just needed to share this with someone. Any suggestions or feedback is greatly appreciated.
It was bad to the point that the class panel of 'class judges' (Student Moot Court council) laughed in disbelief, and one of them clasped his hands over his head 'like wtf was that'. My professor gave me her feedback as "Excellent debate," but I know it's complete bull ****, it's graded on 'Good faith effort' and she softened her comment probably because she doesn't want to discourage me for my next debate tomorrow.
After my speech was over, I sat down, and my debate partner next to me put her hands over me, along with several other classmates putting their hands over my shoulder and arm to comfort me like some wounded dog. I thanked them and tried not to mind it but it was gut wrenching that all I could do was say 'thank you' and ignore it.
What hurts the most is the subtle side laugh a friend of mine gave after another friend looked over my draft, and asked if "I even wrote this?" I respect them a lot and they are extremely blunt and truthful, it's rare in my opinion to see that in law school, but I feel like no one takes me seriously as a professional.
I've been taking beatings throughout this first year and I keep thinking to myself, "I go through with this, and it's going to get better." But I've been taking losses and losses and even more losses, and I feel like a failure at my school now.
I don't want anyone in my family to worry with how much I'm struggling with school right now.
I don't have any intentions on quitting, but I just needed to share this with someone. Any suggestions or feedback is greatly appreciated.