strategically stuck

[pcbz]

Hi,
I'm new to the forums here, first post because (obviously) I'm stuck.

Theres girl I knew a couple of weeks before I broke up with my gf of 7 yrs because I kinda knew what I wanted in a girl after so long.

This girl too, recently broke up from her r/s of 4.

She had met my ex couple of times when we went out on group dinners etc.

Couple weeks ago, we happened to meet for the first time after I broke up, I had an attraction towards her.

This went on till now... and in between, we always met up in groups. She would ask me out on group dinner, outings etc. She called me to get ask for small favors. She also does small favors for me quite a few times, so much so that she considered herself my 'secretary'

V recently, I told her that I had to tell her something but it just wasn't quite right. Reason being, I don't want to be her rebound and vice-versa. We haven't gone on a one-to-one date before. I wanna wait till me and her sort our thoughts out, but I'm afraid of losing her to another guy or even worse, her ex who cheated on her.

I'm not a player, and I really think that we think on the same level and similar personality I can relate to. Pretty much, I'm sincere to give it a shot.

Thus I'm at a loss.

Help.

 

[Phyzzle]

I think you should go for it, and start trying to see her one on one. The whole key to not having a fast burn out rebound relationship is showing a little self control.

After seven years in a relationship, you've got to get used to seeing this one 3 times a week, tops. Don't let her get all clingy and get stuck up each other's a$$es right away, and there won't be a shocking break up.

Yeah, it would suck if she dumped you after a month to go back to her ex, or whatever, but it would suck more if you waited around for 6 months, she moved on, and you went the next 3 years without meeting a decent girl. So invite her to do something or other one-on-one.

 

[pcbz]

thanks

Yea.. I've been thinking along this aspect for a while. But I'm just hesitant.

Days ago, I told her that I've always had something to tell her but I think its not very appropriate. She replied, I think I know what u want to tell me.

Then I pulled back, and said, maybe sometime in the future will be better.

I actually wrote a letter intending to give it to her on her bday, popping the question, but that would be 5 mths from now. I thought I would be more sincere and appropriate this way, but my good friend said, 5 months is too long....

Thing is, I'm so sure it would be her, that I wouldn't mind waiting so that its the correct thing imo. But its killing me inside.

 

[Phyzzle]

You have to learn to do things more informally. There is no need to pop any question. Just start inviting her to go places with you. Be playful and affectionate. Less talk, more action. If she wants a formal relationship, she'll let you know.