"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Steps to greatness

udokaibeh

Don Juan
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So im a Highschool sophmore student who used to be (and kinda is) not popular. the way the people in my school view me is a little negative. Not in looks i dress pretty well but in personality. I used to be this shy kid when i was a freshman so i guess it stuck with me till this year. The problem though is that there is no way for me to change my personality seeing that people rarely invite me to do things. I am pretty cool with the "cool kids" in my school i give them handshakes and everything and even chill at school with them but they kind of look down on me. i feel like im just a tag along..... how do i fix this? i want to renovate my name and appearence before next year starts please any tips would be highly apreciated
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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LearningSlowly

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 8, 2011
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It happens very slowly. (Check my name, homie. I live by that.)

If you read my journal, I begin it with average social skills and NO reputation at school. The cool kids would barely talk to me. I started in the summer, and tried to change my image at the start of the school year.

I think there was a brief window right after the summer where, if I was who I am now, I could have really changed my social standing in a short time.

At this point though, after a semester and a half, I feel that I'm really making progress. I think I've set up momentum that will continue in the coming weeks.

Get started now, so that you'll be ready for next year. You'll find success when it comes. You can't make it come any sooner, but it will come, even if it's slow. (I wish I'd started this during sophomore year. You have time, keep working.)
 

NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
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You actually have to change you know. You can't change their perception of you to something you're not yet become. Changing does not revolve around being around the cool kids and being invited out. It revolves around what actions you take that shape your values, rules, and beliefs. You're independent on that journey.
 
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