TooColdUlrick
Master Don Juan
just an interesting story, don't know if it means anything, but this can go under the "young hot chick is intrigued by old man" category i suppose.
yesterday, there's a knock on my door. open it up and there's this young (i learned she was 20) hot azz chick standing there.
"TooCold, they're beating down your door...what to do???"
i always get young people knocking who are selling magazines and such. my condo complex isn't a 'secure' one, and we have 200 units, and it's pretty upscale, so it's an attractive target for door-to-door.
she's wearing a belly shirt and low riders (very low ones). nice tight tummy, b-cups, long straight sandy blonde hair, bubbly personality. the perfect little play toy
it's Saturday afterall, so i had my hoops in (both ears), a tank top and you could see the tats on my back and upper arms. she was checking me out.
"TooCold, wouldn't that be a tasty little Saturday afternoon snack?"
so, i hassle her right away about her trying to sell me magazine subscriptions.
it all went down something like this...
her: oh no, we're offering free steam cleaning for your carpet.
me: nothing is free, what's the catch?
her: no catch, it's a promotional offer for this new company, they're starting with TV ads soon. (or some sh!t like that).
me: what's the catch? i'm a business consultant and i teach business at *******. the jig is up.
her: no seriously, it's totally free!
me: am i suppose to tip you?
her: no, but if you have something to drink that would be kewl (e.g. kiddy talk for 'cool', as best i can tell)
me: how do i know you're not just casing my joint, and your gangsta buds aren't gonna rob me later?
her: ha ha (starts playing with her hair and using her chickness to rope me in).
me: okay, i'll let you clean my carpet, what is the procedure on this?
her: we can do it right now, we're doing a couple more in the complex. it'll take 30 minutes.
idle chit chat, all the while i'm totally harassing her.
...tells me her brothers go to michigan state, she's one of six children, with five brothers, that she's not going to college, etc... she says she knows all of the guy 'tricks'. "Bullsh!t, you don't know squat, honey". she says she's been on her own since she was 14. (didn't believe that one and didn't ask). i tell her she's just a troublemaker.
that was her new nickname. i kept calling her "Miss Troublemaker". she was diggin it. she gave me a playful little kick in the shin, so i knew i was "in". by this time, she was just inside my doorway.
then this dude pops up out of nowhere! it's her partner. he's been listening to this in the shadows. so he butts in and becomes a major c@ck block! basically, i just ignore EVERYTHING he was saying, the little prick. didn't even really look at him.
we now have the little prick in the convo...
me: who will be doing this cleaning?
her: either one of us
little prick: oh, probably ME! (i give him an icy glaze that says, SHUT THE FVCK UP B!TCH I AIN'T TALKING TO YOU. brianna definitely picks up on this and smiles)
me: i would prefer that you do the cleaning, brianna. i don't allow strange boys in my condo. (i did say 'boys').
little prick: (sheepishly disappears)
me: brianna, as you can see, i have hardwood floors. the only carpet is in my BEDROOM.
her: how convenient? (ah, nice, she's thinking about my d!ck)
me: yes, i knew you were coming so i rushed out and got myself hardwood floors.
her: ha ha (playing with hair)
me: okay, Miss Troublemaker, i'll let you clean my carpet (VERY suggestive tone)
SHE comes back in 20 minutes with her gear. i'm totally loving this! hot chick is gonna clean my carpet! she's kinda struggling, and i ain't helping her with sh!t, like other chumps have probably done. comments on my cool pad (it is cool), looking around with a "wow" look on her face.
in the bedroom, comments again, "cool" this "cool" that as i'm watching her clean the carpet. "you missed a spot", "i have a little stain over here", etc. i was just bossing her around, sarcastically.
she also had t-back undies. and that thing is riding up about 6 inches. i fvck with her on this.
oh yeah, my room was totally messy too. i mean they ambushed me! had grippers on the floor. we were joking about it. she was picking stuff up off the floor and throwing it on my bed. she was basically cleaning my room!
my rolex was on the nightstand. she PICKS IT UP (the nerve!) and says,
her: oooh...this is a nice watch, how much did it cost?
me: you can put it down now
she's over at my dresser and there's a little wad of 100's sitting there.
me: don't think about it, Miss Troublemaker
her: shut up!
blah, blah, blah...i was really harassing her and enjoying it.
asked her if she wanted something to drink. from the living room, i yell at her,
me: i have one pepsi and one corona, which will it be?
her: i'll take the CORONA! (duh!)
harassing her about drinking on the job, etc...
so she gets done, we're back in the living room. she's finishing up the corona as she's checking my stuff out. i mean, she's really intrigued by all of this, like a little kid (she is, basically). i have a nice place, professionally decorated (red walls, velvet sofa, nice antiques, blue velvet drapes, plasma). i dumped 30k into it, which is nothing, actually. and she's there, all sprawled out on my sofa saying, "oooohhh this is so comfortable...this is totally ragin'...what's this...i love that..." as she's investigating stuff.
her: oh, you have a boat? (pic in the corner with da boys on the boat)
me: yes, it's in Havasu
her: YOU go to Havasu?
me: yes, my buddy has a condo there
her: TOTALLY RAGIN'!!!!
blah, blah, blah,
her: are you married?
me: does it look like a chick lives here?
her: NO WAY!!! this is a TOTALLY RAGIN' PAD!!!
(god i love that young vibrant attitude! makes a man feel young, doesn't it?)
more chit chat. she leaves. i didn't ask for her number, didn't really care. i'm taking a break from chicks for a while.
couple of hours later, i go to get the mail, come back and notice a piece of paper on my screendoor. "(xxx) xxx-xxxx, Brianna".
she's 20. i don't think she's a gold digger. she's probably making $1,000 a month, struggling. a chick this age goes out with boys who make the same, live with their parents, spend half their money on their car, take chicks out to Taco Bell, and are otherwise chumps, who 1) don't know what sophisticated means and 2) couldn't 'afford' it if they did.
chicks like this are very interested in what "My World" is like (how single male grown ups live). i'll call her, and get her over here, since she digs my place so much and is probably wondering how i actually live my life. i wouldn't mind riding that a couple of times, now that i think about it
TOTALLY RAGIN'!!! RIGHT ON!!!
yesterday, there's a knock on my door. open it up and there's this young (i learned she was 20) hot azz chick standing there.
"TooCold, they're beating down your door...what to do???"
i always get young people knocking who are selling magazines and such. my condo complex isn't a 'secure' one, and we have 200 units, and it's pretty upscale, so it's an attractive target for door-to-door.
she's wearing a belly shirt and low riders (very low ones). nice tight tummy, b-cups, long straight sandy blonde hair, bubbly personality. the perfect little play toy
it's Saturday afterall, so i had my hoops in (both ears), a tank top and you could see the tats on my back and upper arms. she was checking me out.
"TooCold, wouldn't that be a tasty little Saturday afternoon snack?"
so, i hassle her right away about her trying to sell me magazine subscriptions.
it all went down something like this...
her: oh no, we're offering free steam cleaning for your carpet.
me: nothing is free, what's the catch?
her: no catch, it's a promotional offer for this new company, they're starting with TV ads soon. (or some sh!t like that).
me: what's the catch? i'm a business consultant and i teach business at *******. the jig is up.
her: no seriously, it's totally free!
me: am i suppose to tip you?
her: no, but if you have something to drink that would be kewl (e.g. kiddy talk for 'cool', as best i can tell
)me: how do i know you're not just casing my joint, and your gangsta buds aren't gonna rob me later?
her: ha ha (starts playing with her hair and using her chickness to rope me in).
me: okay, i'll let you clean my carpet, what is the procedure on this?
her: we can do it right now, we're doing a couple more in the complex. it'll take 30 minutes.
idle chit chat, all the while i'm totally harassing her.
...tells me her brothers go to michigan state, she's one of six children, with five brothers, that she's not going to college, etc... she says she knows all of the guy 'tricks'. "Bullsh!t, you don't know squat, honey". she says she's been on her own since she was 14. (didn't believe that one and didn't ask). i tell her she's just a troublemaker.
that was her new nickname. i kept calling her "Miss Troublemaker". she was diggin it. she gave me a playful little kick in the shin, so i knew i was "in". by this time, she was just inside my doorway.
then this dude pops up out of nowhere! it's her partner. he's been listening to this in the shadows. so he butts in and becomes a major c@ck block! basically, i just ignore EVERYTHING he was saying, the little prick. didn't even really look at him.
we now have the little prick in the convo...
me: who will be doing this cleaning?
her: either one of us
little prick: oh, probably ME! (i give him an icy glaze that says, SHUT THE FVCK UP B!TCH I AIN'T TALKING TO YOU. brianna definitely picks up on this and smiles)
me: i would prefer that you do the cleaning, brianna. i don't allow strange boys in my condo. (i did say 'boys').
little prick: (sheepishly disappears)
me: brianna, as you can see, i have hardwood floors. the only carpet is in my BEDROOM.
her: how convenient? (ah, nice, she's thinking about my d!ck)
me: yes, i knew you were coming so i rushed out and got myself hardwood floors.
her: ha ha (playing with hair)
me: okay, Miss Troublemaker, i'll let you clean my carpet (VERY suggestive tone)
SHE comes back in 20 minutes with her gear. i'm totally loving this! hot chick is gonna clean my carpet! she's kinda struggling, and i ain't helping her with sh!t, like other chumps have probably done. comments on my cool pad (it is cool), looking around with a "wow" look on her face.
in the bedroom, comments again, "cool" this "cool" that as i'm watching her clean the carpet. "you missed a spot", "i have a little stain over here", etc. i was just bossing her around, sarcastically.
she also had t-back undies. and that thing is riding up about 6 inches. i fvck with her on this.
oh yeah, my room was totally messy too. i mean they ambushed me! had grippers on the floor. we were joking about it. she was picking stuff up off the floor and throwing it on my bed. she was basically cleaning my room!
my rolex was on the nightstand. she PICKS IT UP (the nerve!) and says,
her: oooh...this is a nice watch, how much did it cost?
me: you can put it down now
she's over at my dresser and there's a little wad of 100's sitting there.
me: don't think about it, Miss Troublemaker
her: shut up!
blah, blah, blah...i was really harassing her and enjoying it.
asked her if she wanted something to drink. from the living room, i yell at her,
me: i have one pepsi and one corona, which will it be?
her: i'll take the CORONA! (duh!)
harassing her about drinking on the job, etc...
so she gets done, we're back in the living room. she's finishing up the corona as she's checking my stuff out. i mean, she's really intrigued by all of this, like a little kid (she is, basically). i have a nice place, professionally decorated (red walls, velvet sofa, nice antiques, blue velvet drapes, plasma). i dumped 30k into it, which is nothing, actually. and she's there, all sprawled out on my sofa saying, "oooohhh this is so comfortable...this is totally ragin'...what's this...i love that..." as she's investigating stuff.
her: oh, you have a boat? (pic in the corner with da boys on the boat)
me: yes, it's in Havasu
her: YOU go to Havasu?
me: yes, my buddy has a condo there
her: TOTALLY RAGIN'!!!!
blah, blah, blah,
her: are you married?
me: does it look like a chick lives here?
her: NO WAY!!! this is a TOTALLY RAGIN' PAD!!!
(god i love that young vibrant attitude! makes a man feel young, doesn't it?)
more chit chat. she leaves. i didn't ask for her number, didn't really care. i'm taking a break from chicks for a while.
couple of hours later, i go to get the mail, come back and notice a piece of paper on my screendoor. "(xxx) xxx-xxxx, Brianna".
she's 20. i don't think she's a gold digger. she's probably making $1,000 a month, struggling. a chick this age goes out with boys who make the same, live with their parents, spend half their money on their car, take chicks out to Taco Bell, and are otherwise chumps, who 1) don't know what sophisticated means and 2) couldn't 'afford' it if they did.
chicks like this are very interested in what "My World" is like (how single male grown ups live). i'll call her, and get her over here, since she digs my place so much and is probably wondering how i actually live my life. i wouldn't mind riding that a couple of times, now that i think about it
TOTALLY RAGIN'!!! RIGHT ON!!!
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