Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

STD prevention and relationship progression

Life-Trainee

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 29, 2004
Messages
795
Reaction score
0
Location
Boston, MA
Never had sex with non-virgins so I'm dead scared of experimenting with "experienced" girls. How do you tell the girl to get tested before having sex without causing over-reaction on her part? STD's like warts are trasmitted even when condom is used through contact of unprotected areas.
 

dietzcoi

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 24, 2003
Messages
1,100
Reaction score
8
Location
Germany
I don't think you can order a girl to get tested.. at least I have never heard of anybody doing it, despite the rhetoric in the media nowadays.

Dietzcoi
 

penkitten

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2001
Messages
8,276
Reaction score
244
Age
46
Location
at our house
you could always make some little rules to live by...
for example:
1. only sleep with people you are in a serious relationship with
2. tell them about this upfront and also ask that they go get tested with you at a local clinic to make sure no one has some bad stuff.
3. if they really like you and are into you, they will see this as a smart and sexy healthy thing and they will do it.
 

diablo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 2, 2004
Messages
4,688
Reaction score
8
Location
Louisiana, USA
While related in part to health and fitness, you're asking the proper way to go about asking a girl to get tested... so off to Anything Else we go.

That being said, there's no way to beat around the bush (no pun intended) with a question like this. You can't exactly say "So, how about we go see a movie, then visit the health clinic and then I'll take you out to dinner?" You're going to have to explain why you want her to have this done - and you'll have to be willing for them to stick the catheter down your penis shaft as well. After all, how is she to know that you've really slept with nothing but virgins? How is she to know that even if you believe they were virgins that they really were? You're 22, if a girl who was 22 told me she'd slept with nothing but guys who were virgins I'd call her a dirty liar. I'd imagine it's probably the same for girls.

Be advised, don't just walk up and say "You've got to get tested before we sleep together"... she'll definitely take that as you saying "You're a dirty ***** and you probably have some disease you want to give me" - end of relationship. So, after you've maturely explained your logic and reasoning behind it, if she still refuses you have three options.

The first is to continue in a relationship with her that doesn't involve sex. The second is to throw caution to the wind and do like everybody else does, putting on some protection. The third is to end your time with her.

The first I don't like because I enjoy sex far too much to ever advise against someone else going without it. The second I don't really agree with because if she's refused to take a test, it gives the appearance that she has something to hide and therefore may in fact have a sexually transmitted disease... or that she might be a post-op transsexual. The third I like more than the other two, because you can find someone else - perhaps another virgin since you seem to do so well with them - to sleep with.
 

Cesare Cardinali

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 10, 2002
Messages
911
Reaction score
8
Hey dude,

You've got to accept a certain element of risk in your life as tough as that may seem. Either you accept it and live a happy life or you run for safety and be miserable. Do what is reasonable to protect yourself and from there live your life and handle whatever challenges come up with confidence.

With that said, it is unreasonable to demand a chick get tested simply because you have only slept with virgins. Sleeping with virgins is no guarantee that (a) they told you the truth that they are virgins or (b) that they are completely STD free (they could have gotten herpes from a toilet seat and the HPV virus could be present on her cervix due to some hereditary factors (Hey I've heard if happens!).

So anyways, I'm not saying this to scare you, but you need to accept a reasonable amount of risk. You can' t run from it. If she gets tested and is STD free you'll still have to accept that she may cheat and catch something two minutes after testing all clear in which case you're back where you started.

And finally, some STDs don't even show up on tests. For example, women get PAP smears to test for "abnormal cells" which could be a precurser to cervical cancer and which could have been caused by many factors one major one being a strain of the HPV virus that does not cause warts. Now a chick can get tested and be STD free today and then 6 months from now she's got an abnormal pap smear caused by HPV and did not cheat on you. She's at risk for cervical cancer and you've got zero risk because that strain causes no damage to men (no warts), but you may infect other chicks down the road. It is estimated that something like 80% of people have been exposed to this strain and most don't know it, have no symptoms, and do not test positive for it in STD tests (you can't test it for men and if a woman is healthy it doesn't really do anything and is undetectable too).

So the point is, no matter how much paranoia you think you'll cure by demanding she get tested, there are so many variables that you can't control so you're better off taking reasonable precautions and living your life.

I suggest the following:

1. Use a condom with the chicks no matter what. All the time and with each chick.

2. Get tested for STDs once a year and suggest to the girl that she do the same. Tell her that it's part of your yearly check up and that it's a mature thing for both of you to do together. If she agrees and you trust her, than you can trust that she won't cheat and will let you know if there is some health concern you should be aware of. If she objects or resists the idea then you should decide whether you can handle being with a girl that you don't trust, and boot her if you can't.

But as a sexually active male, you'll be dealing with all kinds of crazy sh*t from women and this is just something else that you need to manage first with your own emotions (i.e. don't worry irrationally) and then with the chicks.

Good luck.

Cesare Cardinali
 

thejuice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 21, 2002
Messages
598
Reaction score
0
Location
Pick a girl...
Be honest with the girl and tell her that you like to be safe. Ive had bad experiences where i thought i had something...i never did but the scare almost made me give up on sex altogether. If you get serious with the girl, ask her to get tested with you and get on a planned parenthood program where you get a shot or some pills for her. The only thing is to beware of are the side effects like deppression, etc.

My girl and i go tested together so we can be sure we can **** without a condom and not catch anything. Of course, shes on birth control so its all good

If its some girl you dont know, its a risk. Go with your instinct, inspect before you insert and look for the warning signs. Bad smell, redness where it shouldnt be, etc
 
Top