Stay At Home Dad Myth

[resilient]

Scenario: Let's say the woman makes the big bucks and ends becoming the better breadwinner in the home... The man decides to work from home while watching the kids and doing home improvements around the house.

Would this situation work long term or would it crash in resentment on both sides?

Have you known any man that has successfully done this?

IMO... in today's feminized society, many women are beginning to take the wheel and command the ship in the marriage.

Long term emotionally, I don't think they could handle the stress over the years. My girlfriend has indirectly spoke of me doing design work from home while she handled work at the office as a top manager. She makes more than me now, but my gut doesn't set well with this.

 

[Latinoman]

I know of two men that this is happening.

1- This guy which wife makes much more money than him...he is now at home taking care of the kids. Personally...I met him once and felt kind of weird. Like she was the one buying his drinks. Damn.

2- My brother in law. My sister is a professional (a business manager). He does not work...however, his situation is different...he owns several public transportation vehicles which he lease and manage from his home. He used to drive one and got into a serious accident, so now he stays with the two boys (one a teenager and the other 11 or 12 years old). Now...my brother in law is a man not to messed with. A true street guy that changed once his kids came.


Myself for a short period of time (back in my 20s) went back to school and my ex-wife was working (I did the same for her after I finished). But, IMO, that's also a different situation (as it is an investment). I remember some of her co-workers (latinos) talking crap about me (behind my back). Oh well...most of them are making no more than 35K a year. I am in the six figures.

My point is...there are different situations.

 

[azanon]

Its not a good idea for anyone (man or woman) to be financially dependant on someone else, with no backup plan. It has nothing to do with gender. It shouldn't set well with anyone's gut to be one divorce away from being destitute.

 

[Desdinova]

Have you known any man that has successfully done this?

Yeah, and he smells like old crackers because he's too fvcking lazy to take a shower.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...
IMO... in today's feminized society, many women are beginning to take the wheel and command the ship in the marriage. ....

How is it defined who takes the wheel and what is entailed in commanding the ship?

• Financial decisions?
• Family decisions?
• Spousal decisions?
• Just making more money than the other spouse?

What I've seen destruct more families is when only one aspect is used to define steering the ship. Here's another analogy, attempting to fly a plane with only one of theses things; rudder, flaps, elevators, slats, spoiler, ailerons or stabilizers. You can only fractionally control the maneuverability of the plane with any one of these things. Its better controlled using all of the items. Also, consider early airliners needed both a pilot and a co-pilot for specific reasons other than saying that one of the two was in charge.

 

[MatureDJ]

Sounds like my cousin

After he and his wife had his child (actually, she became his wife post-conception), he decided that he wanted to be the house husband (he had been an on-again, off-again car salesman.) This seemed to work for a little while, but eventually his wife lost respect for him, and she pushed up the biitch factor until they finally separated.

It is quite understandable. For a long time, it has been engrained into the female psyche that the man be the provider (in the old days, it was bringing home the hunted animal, and defending the tribe.) Feminism has changed all that such that the high earning woman looks at a man as not much more than a sexual toy and sperm donor.

 

[penkitten]

when my aunt and uncle were young, my aunt made more money than my uncle and they could not find childcare in the early 80s so one of them had to stay home and be the house person.
not only did the aunt make twice as much money, but she also had kick ass benefits so she became the bread winner and he was the house husband.

he got the kids off to school and went to all the school events.
he did the household chores while she worked and the laundry and took care of the lawn.
he made dinner for the family.
he also had to make sure the kids were taken care of, homework done and etc.
they bragged about how well it worked out.

when the kids grew up and left home, it was hard for him to find a decent job because he had not had a job in sooooo long.


however my cousins did not turn out to be great adults. in fact, they turned out horrible.

could they have turned out different if my uncle was the bread winner and my aunt was home to spend time nurturing them? one will never know.

 

[resilient]

Update on this trend

I came across this good article today that speaks about the Stay At Home Dad Myth. You can probably already guess that once the man steps down and becomes the sole carer of the children at home and child care duties, etc. the woman slowly loses respect for the husband she married that gave up his masculinity.

Anyway, worth reading and tells of stories of homes split by this decision in the U.K. despite the growing trend:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=467390&in_page_id=1879