Starting conversation and not giving attention paradox

[nelysses]

I have something that I couldn't understand about it.
Both social media and in real life. As a man I should start conversation with a girl.
I read some books it says "Don't give tooo much attention for first times, Don't give the reins(ropes) to her."
But When I try to pick a girl up or start a conversation from Instagram She chooses me, Not I'm choosing her.
So before everything I gave her a choosing change. She Can accept or reject me.
What you guys think about that?

Also IRL I go and say Hi, I'm nely, I like you bla bla but In some books and articles they say "Don't say a girl you like her at the first times"
In Instagram I try to impress a girl with my first messages but books says "Don't try to impress her it's not masculine you are the prize bla bla"

We are prizes but We try to pick her up and she chooses me or not. So What should we do?
If I go a Museum and I see a girl looking something I say something about that. I find a common thing etc. I don't go and say her I like you. Or if she is a girl from my friend group I just talk to her. I don't say her I like her but at the end of everything everybody knows We guys trying to impress hers. What about that?

 

[nelysses]

Any ideas?

 

[Agamemnon43]

There isn't just one type of approach, we are all different and guys will swear that their method is the best.. find what suits your character the most and polish it.
However, starting a converstation and giving too much attention are two different things. You can meet girls with your intention obvious but never appear too needy and desperate. First give some attention, then pull back. Rinse and repeat until you see she shows interest. Personally, that's what suits me best. I'm not an aggresive seduction type of guy and telling a girl i like her outright is so out of my character, i could never pull it off.
Anyway, as guys, we definitely have to approach first, unless you're fking henry cavill or something, which you are not probably.

 

[nelysses]

"You look interesting, kitten. Tell me about yourself."

Actually they rejected me with this xd
I Don't know it can be about difference between cultures. I live in Turkey, In a small town.
Some days ago a video go viral in turkey and woman says "While I was in Turkey, I could match with anyone I wanted on Tinder. I came to England and not everyone likes me. While I was in Turkey, men were jumping on me."

I can truely say Not all but some girls are more egoist in Turkey. So I don't know it can be about cultural differences.