Spring Cleaning for your Dating Life

[TheProspect]

It’s Spring Time.

Most of you should be familiar with the concept of “spring cleaning”, where one gives their living space a good thorough cleaning to tidy and freshen things up.

Our immediate physical environments have a huge effect on our mental health. A cluttered living space is usually the result of a cluttered mind. You can regain a sense of control by giving your place a good spring cleaning, which will also mentally benefit you by reducing your stress and improving your mood & focus…

… but how many of us ever do an intentional spring cleaning in our social lives?

At one point or another, we have all held onto a relationship that we no longer derived benefit from. In fact, I bet the majority of you reading this now are guilty of this right now, be it with a friend, a partner, or a plate.

I encourage you all to take stock of your social lives right now, especially your dating life. Evaluate your friendships and relationships. Assess the dynamic of each of the women you are dating.

Chances are, there's at least one or two individuals who you are CHOOSING to associate with that are bound to only bring you disappointment, frustration, and pain. If you are unsure about a particular person, it's probably that person you need to get rid of...

... but the sunk cost fallacy, scarcity mindset, and neediness makes you feel stuck.

I challenge you to remove yourself from that situation. Walk away, and set yourself free. Today.

[ Tip #7 - Never be afraid to walk away. ]

Admit when you have a losing hand and fold. We all have multiple instances where we held onto a relationship much longer than we should have, and we all know how that ended up.

A lot of the previous tips relate to this one:
- If she is giving you mixed signals, walk away. (Tip #2)
- Put the advice you received into practice, walk away. (Tip #3)
- It takes confidence to walk away and know you'll be okay. (Tip #4)
- Your girl ain't special nor irreplaceable. Walk away. (Tip #5)

Walking away from an undesirable situation is probably the most powerful thing you can do. Can you do it if need be?

Thought experiment: Try imagining right now initiating breaking it off with a plate, a girlfriend or your wife, just to prove that you can. Perhaps this is a girl you particularly like and enjoy spending time with -- let's say she didn't even do anything "wrong" per se. Notice any hesitation, or if you rationalize why you shouldn't. Notice the tendency to cling to a person, to a relationship, to a feeling, or to an idea.

"Never get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."

Feel free to discuss, add some spring cleaning tips, or report how your own spring cleaning is going.

Remember: It's never too late to start brand new.

Happy spring cleaning gentleman!

 

[Murk]

My spring cleaning is going well as I'm now single and dating from a more balanced and calculated mindset.

I also mopped all my floors and cleaned my skirting/coving 2 days ago. I will be repainting (it's been 5-6 years already) every room and ceiling and changing the blinds everywhere (already bought them 6 months ago). I did horde and live cluttered sometimes, then blitz when I need to.

More recently I've been keeping on top of everything as I go along, something so basic and simple but for some of us a difficult task. I have ADHD which manifests in self-destructive, distractive habits, outwardly perceived as lazy sometimes. But cutting sugar helped me control that last year.

I think freshening up my living space is top priority this month.

 

[BMX]

I just did without realizing you posted this. Cut off three friendships, each varying in length. Two of them were energy draining and became a giant waste of time. The third pretty much stood me up when we met up a month ago. The first two will remain blocked numbers. It's helping me work on bigger goals and not let myself become miserable as a result of these few.

 

[Stanley]

Great post and I think it is also important to surround yourself with positive relationships that bring value to your life.

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
― Mark Twain