"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Spinnin' Plates is WORK

Fumbduck

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It really is a full time job!
  • Casual Texting
  • Occasional use of facebook
  • Setting up dates/hang outs
  • Actually hanging out/going on dates
  • Making sure you don't run into any other "plates" while out
  • Remembering unique stories from each different girl
  • Surveying the venue when you're out to make sure no other plates/friends are there
  • Remembering to not tell the same stories more than once
  • etc, etc...

How do you guys keep track of everything? Any tips on how to maintain composure when you are dating multiple girls? (not bf/gf with multiple girls, but casually dating with the goal of finding someone who is relationship material) The way it's been going for me is that i've been dating a few girls now, if I go out with my boys and meet someone new i'll exchange numbers and take them out and get to know them as well. I am not tied down, free to see and talk to whoever I want. There is overlap, 5 girls could possibly text in one day, and I could see one girl Friday night, another Saturday, and a different one on Sunday. I don't see a problem with this, but girls may if they find out about it.

Anyone have experience dealing with this? What do you do when you're in a situation where you DO see another plate when you're out on a date? How do you handle the conversation of "are we exclusive", when you really don't want to be just yet, but you want to keep seeing her? I know these questions will eventually come, and I am perfectly happy "playing the field" for now.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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backbreaker

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one of hte better posts i have read here in a while actually.

it's like anyting else in life. You go years, sometimes a lifetime without having women (that you are interested in) like you, and then "boom!" all of sudden you are on center stage.

I went through a time, basically when I was 21 years old, that i had 2 full time jobs lol. Running my business, and spinning paltes. YOu are correct, it can be daunting. setting up dates, giving each of them attention, buying gifts for christmas, making sure you don't run into them.. for instance one of my plates worked at a bar that was very popular so i had to make sure i didn't go there, and one loved this one mexican resturant so you have to make sure that you don't go there to eat lol.

After about a year of that i said look, the pratically of spinning plates, is not to boost my ego but to find the best person i can for me as efficently as possible. Plus I am a classic workaholic, so i got ot the point that when i was single, 3 plates. no more. 2 serious plates and a backup plate/F buddy. That ismore than enough for me. 2 dates a week which ise about my limit time wise, maybe go spend the night at the f buddy's house 1 time a week.

Any more than that, you have to seriously look at your life and figure out what is important to you. I'm not taking any girl out in the fall while college football is on. I have a career. I go to the gym, i dont' watch a LOT of TV but i like a few TV shows and i like to watch them, and i get kinda pissy when i don't. IF you are going out 4-5 nights a week, that means you aren't doing something else.

when i saw a woman i liked, and i had plate, i would ask myself "am i more attracted to this woman than I am one of my plates now". If the answer was yes i would move forward, if not i would keep her in mind.
 

Fumbduck

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Thanks bro, I agree with you; I've noticed tons of posts about guys running back to ex's, no contact, "what does this text mean", she sneezed - does that mean she likes me, etc. But those are all topics for another thread...

Wanted to ask you something about your comment: "when i saw a woman i liked, and i had plate, i would ask myself "am i more attracted to this woman than I am one of my plates now". If the answer was yes i would move forward, if not i would keep her in mind."

What do you mean by this? Would you start to stack your plates or drop a few and focus on others?

This hits home for me because I have a girl who i've been seeing for a while, GREAT girl, great personality, great family, great attitude, great job, everything is great...but she's NOT sexual, and sometimes awkward with getting physical. I am attracted to her in the sense that she would be a fantastic girlfriend/wife because she is trustworthy and has a positive outlook on life. Unfortunately when I think about her I don't immediately think of sex.

NOW, i just met this other girl, just getting to know her, and she is also great and comes from a great family, has a great job, and IS sexual, but not slutty. I am very attracted to her in ways I am not attracted to the other. Just beginning the process but she has potential.

You seem to have been in this situation before, what would you do? Both are quality women.
 

Victory Unlimited

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Whenever attracting and keeping a whole "army of chicks" starts to feel more like work than fun---------you KNOW it's time to start doing something different.
 

Desdinova

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I tried dating 3 or 4 at a time, and it just eats up too many of my resources. I generally date only two at a time. The only exception is when I'm having a drought, and I'll set up lots of dates at once.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Crissco

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Desdinova said:
I tried dating 3 or 4 at a time, and it just eats up too many of my resources. I generally date only two at a time. The only exception is when I'm having a drought, and I'll set up lots of dates at once.
Same thing I was coming in to say...2 at a time work great, anymore its a hastle. Unless you have tons of free time and are bored.
 
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