SpiceoftheOrient's Journal: The Path to True Alpha

[SpiceoftheOrient]

Friends, PUA's, Strugglers, lend me your ears. We who are about to Game salute you!

Hello all, I'm a long time guest lurker on these forums who has finally made an account and taken to calling himself SpiceoftheOrient and like all of you, I'm here to become the person I was meant to be. I tend to believe in and follow the more wholesome "light side" methods of guys like Roosh, Pook, and Krauser.

Now it's time to give you a little information about me. I'm a 17 year old Chinese guy who is about 5'5. When I was young (middle school and below), I was a rather shy kid around strangers, but perfectly at home with my friends. Up until this year, I had never kissed a girl and considered hugging too explicitly sexual. Thankfully I kissed two this year, but neither was particularly spectacular. The first one was terrible and nervous, probably even conducive to her rejecting me, and the second was drunk at a party. To compound this terrible perspective, also up until this year, maybe even two months ago, I never realized that women need sex as much as men do, possibly even more so. In retrospect, I realize that I must not have been
unattractive. A few pretty girls have told me straight up that they had a crush on me, but I was too oblivious and ignorant to see it. I want to shoot myself in the foot for being so goddamn blind. However, I do manage to get a fair amount of girls to grind with me on the dance floor, not that I think it's anything too special. I feel like I have been cheated. I feel I have been lied to. As the product of a strictly conservative christian family, I know I have been lied to. I have had no alpha male role model. My family's men are largely gameless, except for a single cousin who until another cousin did drugs, was the shame of the family and not a good role model anyhow. Friends at school were also largely gameless, with a single exception who only got ugly ass girls. But this year, one of them broke free from the chains that bound him in his quest for the ultimate *****. He went from being a loser to the right hand man of the school president (my high school's equivalent of Bill Clinton). Two girls chased him, one a busty white girl, the other a busty half white half asian. He eventually got with a flat asian chick, to my eternal puzzlement, but I think he'll pop up in my journal and have his story explained later. I, on the other hand, have been left with my **** in my hand and I wondered to myself late at night one day, "What the fak did he do right?" Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those stick skinny asian guys who sits in a corner and doesn't dare socialize. I've got a fantastic six pack, and enough muscle on my body to remove myself from the category of "six pack only because he's skinny". I'm not an antisocial asian who only hangs with his own kind either, I'm known as the asian kid who only hangs with white kids (and Indian ones). I actually enjoy meeting people and learning new things from them. I just can't manage to frame it sexually with girls. Besides the above reason, my biggest confidence cap has been my acne, severe acne. It started at the end of sophomore year, exploding across my forehead like a volcanic eruption. Miraculously, I was able to clear it all up by the beginning of senior year, with skin looking completely normal. Then a couple popped up on my cheeks. And then no more than a month after it looked like a redneck shotgunned me in the face with an acne can. I'm currently a little more than two months on accutane, but the scarring is absolutely horrible and it's better than its been before. My social confidence fell like a flying pegasus who's wings have been ripped off by the almighty hand of Hades. I became bitter and prone to long porn marathons. My personality began to warp from extrovert to bitter, spiteful introvert. I can barely even go in to the negative changes; it would take so long. Fortunately I noticed the shift and enacted a ruthless NO PMO campaign and ever since day 3 I've felt almost no desire to whack one, instead that desire has shifted to wanting a real woman. But hell, it's only day 5.

In my desperate search to remedy myself, I stumbled across "The Game" and Roosh V's web site, which in turn lead to multiple other sites like RSD, Krauser, the Book of Pook, and eventually this forum. I found that miraculously, I already had the traits of an alpha male, but society and my upbringing had repressed them to the point of almost no return. I know I have the
potential to be one of the greatest of leaders, the alpha of alphas. But I am chained, a Sisyphus rolling his boulder up the slopes of Tartarus, an elephant confined by a rope weak enough to be snapped by a toddler, yet too strongly ingrained in my mind for me to move it with all my strength. But I must persevere and break these chains, setting free the being I was meant to be, a true alpha. I am the Great Catch. I am the pinnacle of evolution. I can be something truly Great. I am resolved to swallow the red pill, however bitter and vile it may be, or die choking on it.

Thanks to all who read my Great Wall of text. I appreciate any feedback, even if you skim it. Special thanks to Mindgamez, whose journal I first discovered, NorwegianDJ, BPH and all the other journallers who have inspired me to start my own. I can't promise regular updates every day, but I'm shooting for at least once a week. It's going to be a long and hard journey, but if you bear with me I can promise an adventure and, when I reach the player level, fantastically written erotic scenes.

 

[SpiceoftheOrient]

April 11, 2013: My First Legitimate Night Game Experience

A 'friend' of mine at school took me out to grab some food during a free period. He eventually invited me to go to a club with him. I have a feeling he'll be a larger character in this journal later, so we'll call him S-man.

School ended, I went to lift/workout with my other friend, who has the same problems as me, despite being a swoll motherfaker and captain of the wrestling team. Thing is, he's a complete nice guy which you'd never expect from an aggressive wrestling background. I'll be talking about him a lot; I'll call him E-rock. E-rock isn't too into the partying stuff, and if I had to use one word to describe him, it would be the modern form of "gentleman" with all its nice guy connotations . It's so sad, I almost want to cry. And I barely understand basic game. The club scene is kinda dead from the start, but S-man assures me it will pick up later on. E-rock bails because he thinks it's going to be a flop from the start. We transfer my stuff from his car to S-man's car, partially because we're bored and partially so we can check if more people are coming later.

After standing outside of the club for maybe 30 minutes to avoid playing $20 instead of $15, me and S-man cave after watching 4 hot girls, 3 cute asians and a fine white girl go in. If I haven't said it already, "Spice likes da white pusseh." I wouldn't say no to a hot asian though.

S-man and I go into the club and sit around like chodes for half an hour. Two girls start to dance. There are maybe less than 25 people in the club. Maybe 6 of them are girls. The competition is all mexican gang bangers and spoiled white guys. Now comes the frustrating part. I apologize in advance to those of you experienced gamers who hate watching noobs ***** out. The 3 asians and tall blonde white chick, all start halfheartedly dancing in the
center of the room. Everyone can see them and I can literally feel all the other guys looking at them like hungry wolves. I say to S-man, "All they're waiting for is for one guy to look like he's having fun dancing with them. Let's go!" I can feel Roosh, Krauser and Pook all whispering in my head, Go on and dance you ***** But S-man says "No man, the time isn't right, you have to wait until other guys start dancing."I feel like that is a very beta attitude, but because I'm trying to form a connection to him for other opportunities, I wait. This process happens multiple times, with me telling him we should go, every inch of my gut urging me but he pussies out every time. I know it's half my fault too, I should have said "Fak yo ***** ****. I'm going." And I do say it, but I don't actually go.

Then the winds change. Some mexican wearing a wife beater grabs some girl by the hand and takes her up to dance. In 30 seconds, every other girl is pounced upon like a hapless rabbit and there are about 9 pairs grinding away on the dance floor. The pickings are slim and the girls tend to cluster together when not dancing. But this change helps me; it makes me ridiculously angry. How is this shady ass faker getting more ass than me, an
intelligent, classy young man? I shake his hand later for being such a bawss though. I go up to what I think is a cute white girl, maybe a 6, sitting down near her friend and pull up a chair next to her. I sarcastically say a classic Roosh line, "You look like you're having the most fun here." She laughs a little. Her friend introduces himself and sounds extremely homosexual,
"High five!" I high five him.
"What's your name?" I ask him.
"Max, how 'bout you?"
"Spice." I think I'm smiling, and I hope they don't notice my acne too much. To my surprise he says,
"Why don't you take her out to dance." I look at her expectantly.
She says, "Sorry, I can't."
I'm surprised that I really feel nothing at all when getting rejected. Like absolutely nothing, not even a pang of disapointment. Just an, "Alright, who's next."
Out of curiosity, I ask her, "Why not?"
She looks at her friend and says, "Dating."
I get up and walk away. S-man was in the bathroom, so I didn't have to deal with his dip**** rationalizations. It felt really good, liberating. No one there really knows me, no one even goes to my high school except for S-man. I had literally nothing to lose but my phantom ego. I talk to S-man again. He's still *****ing out. Soon some couples start freaking again. I see the hottest asian chick out of the "gang of four" standing alone in the middle of the dance floor,
texting as couples grind around her. There was no way I was letting some chode jack some fine asian ass from me. I tell S-man, "**** you I'm ****ing dancing with that chick." He tries to stop me but my legs are already moving. I tap her on the shoulder from behind, she's still texting. I pray the sweet baby Jesus loves me/won't let her notice my acne, "Are you free?" I ask this because I don't want to sound like an insecure faker saying "May I dance with you?" or a creeper just smacking his **** up on her. Opinions?

She looks back for a half second, "Oh you want to dance?" and backs her ass up into me. I put my hands on the outside of her thighs. She's not very good at it, not really rubbing up onto my **** at all. Not much passion either. But she looks pretty and young, her face doesn't have the beaten down weathering that most seniors from my high school do. I think it's due to the
academic stress. If I had to guess, I'd say she was at most sophomore, probably a freshman. I'm not quite sure how I feel about myself exploiting a nubile young, barely more than an 8th grader, like that. And she's quite easily the 2nd hottest girl there, a 6.5-7, I can't tell, most of the girls there are ugly as overgrown walruses. We grind for a couple minutes, my hands stay in the same place, and ironically it's S-man who tells me I shoulda been rubbing my hands all over her body, the first good piece of advice I've heard from him all day, which unfortunately came after we left the dance. While we're grinding she turns around and asks, "What high school do you go to?"
"Pistola (not actually the name). How about you?"
"Yorkshire. (Not actually name either). I remember Pistola!" She says excitedly, "We had a track meet over there!"
"What's your name?"
"Guenivere. (or was it Genivive?)"
"I'm Spice."
I'm thrilled to hear an IOI (I think). I forget what I said next, but her friend, the tall blonde dancing in front of us looks at S-man, who I now understand was lurking, and says "You're friend is standing awfully close behind you." I look over my shoulder and say, "I'm sorry, it's a shame how ***** these guys all are." ****y, I know, but I felt they deserved it. She laughs. I turn to S-man, "S-man, go." He walks up to her, and I can watch the insecurity
reek from his body language. I want to scream, but my ****'s getting ground on, so I'm kinda happy. I do realize though, that my belt is too fakin bulky and is blocking the sweet center of Guinevere's tight ass. Regrets. It probably doesn't feel so great either. Of course the blonde rejects S-man. The blonde pulls my girl way saying, "We'll be back in a minute." I walk off, satisfied that at least if I have failed all else, I've gotten one decent length grind in. S-man isn't impressed, actually he's more butthurt that I didn't move aside to give
him a turn. Something that I really hadn't thought about. Guinevere and her friend come back a few minutes later, I resume the grind. This time I'm talking with her friend the blonde, and the blonde says "You guys are grinding and I'm lonely dancing." Ever eager to get some white *****, I laugh and smile (I think I'm smiling), "Alright, then get over here." She backs off and I laugh and go back to grinding with Guinevere. The blonde pulls her off later and I officially think I've outstayed my welcome. Some girls just aren't open at the right time. Then the "gang of four" departed. I approach a few other girls but get blown out. I only approach a few because that's all there are, I swear there were no more than 6 out of 12 eligible girls that passed my boner test and out of those maybe only 2 were open to dancing. I see the girl I approached earlier, Max's bish, and realize she isn't a 6, but a 4.5-5. Her face and tits are fine, but from the waist down she's a chubby fak. I feel offended. A girl like her, rejects me, The Great Catch? How dare she! But I notice she doesn't dance with anyone else, so she must actually be dating. My ego mends. I even end up giving a pep talk to a mexican kid. We're talking about why no one's dancing, and I say to him, "It's because all the guys are pussies. Do you know the difference between me and all the other hopeless mofos?"
He shakes his head.
"It's because I don't care what the girls think of me. Do you know I've approached 8 girls tonight? Only 1 of them agreed to dance. But that was facking worth it. So get the fack up, stop *****ing out, and fackin ask some bishes to dance you ***** mofo." I just summarized the basics of every pickup manual in the history of the AFC.
His eyes light up. My eyes light up. I realize what I've just said and pray I don't get shanked. Thank god it's the good kind of light up. He smiles and walks off. I see him later with a fat blonde chick. I don't know what's up with mexicans and *cough* big boned women. But she's got big tits and her face isn't half bad, despite being a lesser breed of walrus, maybe a seal. I talk to him later and proudly smile as he tells all his friends what a great pep talk I
gave him. This must be how the great PUA teachers feel. The club holds nothing more for me. I approached all the girls I wanted, literally more than 50% of the girls there. It was a dead scene, but I"m hoping for a real wild one in the future.

 

[SpiceoftheOrient]

Oops. Double post.