"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Some weird woman issue...and a funk I must get out of

JohnChops

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Alright I decided to finally make an account on here, since i have been reading these articles for a little over a year now. And my god the information is amazing and blew my mind at first. But now im stuck in this weird issue. Here it goes...

So about a year ago I met this girl at the club and i got her number and we hung out and hooked up a lot after that. We had the best conversations , they were deep, fun, and exciting. We talked pretty much everyday just about whatever to keep each other entertained. So turns out this girl is actually one of my friends sisters ...... lol go figure right? So I found out cause i was over his house one day and she walked outside and i literally did not know what to say at that point. So after that we still hung out anyway and for some reason i started to get feelings for this girl. I honestly had no idea why because i usually dont get feelings that quick or that often like this. They were pretty strong so i tried to ignore them but then i started to get into some weird funk and it really messed up my personality because I went from a full fledged dj to a low beta male -__-.

At this point I just said screw it and decided to tell her what was going on and I did and she came in saying ohh we cant be more than friends because your my brothers friend and all that ****. So i was a little pissed and eventually tried to forget about it which took me a long time.

Now its march 2012 so its been about a year since i stopped speaking to her and i finally felt my old dj self coming back, id go up to women in confidence, didnt care what people thought of me, the usual. And i get a text from her saying " Hey i miss you we need to hang out, why dont we hangout anymore" and pretty much along those lines.

We hung out yesterday and my god it brought back every single feeling i had for this girl. And now it seems like i cant get my mind off her again. Did another stupid thing, she asked me why i deleted her number out of my phone and i simply said "I liked you, i needed to forget about you because i knew i couldnt have you" exact words. So she replies " Well i like you to but its just not possible" ..... honestly that pissed me off even more. The fact that she likes me but suggests that we dont hangout anymore, cant be more than friends all because we now work together(now) and im her brothers friend.... So i sit her left with some bull**** feelings i dont want and im very confused.

Can anyone help shed some light on this situation and possibly give me some advice? Ive never been at this stage before. And sorry for the long story lol but thanks if you read it.

-JohnChops
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Yo'Mama

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Now I've stopped doing it myself, every time I read one of these posts it just amazes me the way us guys let ourselves get sucked into the idiot games women play. Don't we have anything better to do really? Do we value ourselves so little?
 

JohnChops

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Seriously its like a little slip up we have once and awhile and it really messes you up. Yeah your definitely right flush , now how do i forget about this girl ?
 

Iceberg

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JohnChops said:
Seriously its like a little slip up we have once and awhile and it really messes you up. Yeah your definitely right flush , now how do i forget about this girl ?
You seem like a pretty smart guy. I'm pretty sure you know how to forget about the girl. The answer is right under your nose.

I'm going to go out on a limb (and correct me if I'm wrong), but my gut is telling me that you haven't had sex with this girl. It just doesn't seem like a sexual relationship. It seems like, maybe you guys make out or whatever, and have your "deep conversations" and then go your separate ways.

Maybe it's just that whenever a guy starts talking about how he enjoyed really deep conversations with a girl, and how he felt the need to profess his feelings to her, it just says to me, "They haven't banged." Maybe because banging eliminates the need to profess feelings, since you've already physically displayed that you like each other...on some level.


Anyway, just recognize things for what they are. She's a girl who never really provided you with anything. And she knows you want her. And it doesn't matter to her....she just wants attention, and if that means she has to hurt you to get it, then she will. That's not a good person.
 

JohnChops

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Iceberg said:
You seem like a pretty smart guy. I'm pretty sure you know how to forget about the girl. The answer is right under your nose.

I'm going to go out on a limb (and correct me if I'm wrong), but my gut is telling me that you haven't had sex with this girl. It just doesn't seem like a sexual relationship. It seems like, maybe you guys make out or whatever, and have your "deep conversations" and then go your separate ways.

Maybe it's just that whenever a guy starts talking about how he enjoyed really deep conversations with a girl, and how he felt the need to profess his feelings to her, it just says to me, "They haven't banged." Maybe because banging eliminates the need to profess feelings, since you've already physically displayed that you like each other...on some level.


Anyway, just recognize things for what they are. She's a girl who never really provided you with anything. And she knows you want her. And it doesn't matter to her....she just wants attention, and if that means she has to hurt you to get it, then she will. That's not a good person.
The most we ever did was her giving me head. So your right on that one we haven't banged. It was just a weird and untimely kind of thing, sort of blindsided me but yah she really is a bad person for messing around with me and I don't really need her. I figure it's time to focus on keeping myself busy and chatting up some women ;). Ha I knew it was a good idea to make an account on here .
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Leopold

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This is not good... I think telling a girl you like/love her is a big mistake. I always heard about not tell.. but SHOW with your actions.

She already knows you are into her. She just not playing by your rules and it feels to me that you already lost a lot of power and control. Just let her go... go ghost like they say.

Try to meet other girls and forget about this attention harlot. I would pretty much ignore her as much as I can unless she comes back crawling ready in some lingerie ready to bang and not to talk about.

No more pretty talk... action Action ACTION!!
 

SoSuave666

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I just joined this site so it is hard for me to give feedback and expect respect with my answers. However, I will try anyway.

I have been in this situation. One of my best friends from HS has a beautiful younger sister. She was always in to me and I was always in to her. Nothing ever amounted to it because of ME. I couldn't get it on with HER because of MY friend being HER brother. Read that again. If a woman is interested in you, no matter the bounds, she will fornicate with you.

She is clearly using you for validation of her own ego. Women need to inflate their ego every so often. Facebook, Twitter, Texting, and E-mails are great ways for them to get validation without actually putting in much effort. Her meeting up with you is just a means to keep your interest level up.

I say this reluctantly, but if you DO want her, the only way is to be extremely hot and cold. If she is attractive, this type of behavior is very powerful.

My advice: move on.
 

JohnChops

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Another quick question , when your in that weird type of funk where you almost feel awkward to a point where you cant pick up women anymore ... and you know this was the cause of it, how do you get out of it? just by moving on?
 
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