Some real ex-GF advice

[GaryUranga]

So my gf brokeup with me last friday. Basically she told me our rel had too much fighting in it and it affected her a lot.

Basically I got really angry a lot and she cried every time, so she decided it would be best to break up cause it was becoming more of a huzzle than anything good and "it didnt feel the same anymore" she wanted it to be like it was before.

Well it doesnt end there.

I went chode on this (to myself, never showed it to her) and went to talk with her. Talked about it, same reasons stood except she admitted she still had strong emotions attached to me and such. To the point that right in our "breakup talk" I went in and madeout with her and she reciprocated, then I did it again and she bursted into tears about how this made things much harder. I never directly told her "lets get back together" but it was kinda implied in what I was saying.

She stood with her decition of ending it told me "her heart was telling her to stay with me but her mind said no" and that everytime shed see me her legs would shake or some other gay crap.

I admit some attraction might had been lost in the relationship as I didnt stand with my masculine polarity and became somewhat anti-social with her family and friends cause I just didnt give a **** about them.

Anyways, by the end of our breakup talk she actually came in to makeout with me I went for it, basically we brokeup with both of us still being strongly emotional for eachother.

This sorta put the ball on her fields since she brokeup with me, I decided to just cut off all contact, and if she contacted me I'd respond with indifference. Well thing is now shes telling all her friends about this abut how much of an ass Im being now.

I think I could pull this one back but it seems like shes waiting for me to go back and apologize for the fights so it can be all fine again (hurtful nicknames and fb statuses but acts normally when she talks to me over IM). If I did that thatd just make her be more the one in control which I know I dont want, how would I lead this situation the way I want it to without begging?

PS: I realize the usual advice is GET OVER IT CHODE but I'm willing to give it a good shot before I forget it since we got along pretty well.

 

[SoSuaveDude]

Dude, either way you look at it, she left you. Why does she deserve something she decided to give up on. Has she did anything to compliment your life throughout the relationship? To me it sounds like a plethora of drama on the horizon, and a relationship not worth repairing. This girl literally seems to drive you nuts, but you keep running back lol!

You even ask how to get her back without begging and forfeiting your balls to her. There is probably no way, as she most likely lost respect for you already. In the possible occurence of her trying to contact you, that is probably nothing more than an ego-seeking method for her. The moment you reveal your prominent feelings for her once again, her ego will inflate, and she will swiftly shoot you down again!

 

[starplayer]

Walk away.

I know you won't, but seriously man just forget her. Nothing good ever comes from these situations.

She ain't interested anymore. Anything she does now will be to mess with your head and keep you hooked. Don't play her games.

Accept it's over right now. Rip the band aid off fast and make the pain short and intense, not long and drawn out in the friendzone.

Walk away.

 

[Pierce]

Trust me man... you don't want a girl that broke up with you...She is just going to do it in the future. I'm sure you can find another girl that you won't have any problems with. Even if it was your fault.... you learn from your mistakes and get better.... you move on.....

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

You know you should walk away.

You know you should walk away because you have lessons to learn from this experience, but there's no such thing as a free education. Only through pain and loss do we really learn anything, most of the time.

You were wrong to be angry all the time, you were wrong to show frustration and impotent rage towards your ex. A man must be like a mountain, not to be moved by various things. That's why she broke up with you: you let her get to you.

Of course we don't know all the ins and outs, but we don't need to. There is a science by which a man loses the frame (and subsequently attraction), and those who are students of this science become adept at observing what really causes ltrs to fall apart. We have lived it, and we reinforce our own hard-fought educations by hearing stories such as yours.

Take it as a lesson learned, deliberate on your mistakes, and get back on that horse.

 

[backbreaker]

the only advice that should be given when dealing with ex's is just "no". no no no no no. xxxxxx. wrong answer. try again. leave her alone. id ont' care what she says. i don't care what you feel. grow some and move on.

 

[horaholic]

You are literally addicted to the feelings she gave you. You both are, actually. You need to kick this habit cold turkey. You both know the relationship isnt working, so you both need to suck it up and move on. You are a like heroin addict right now that just quit. its calling you, and you know it will feel SOOO good to just hit it one more time, but your brain knows it is the worst thing for you. Thats all breakups are... Quitting the dangerous drug of 'love' and pressing through the withdrawal symptoms, so you can be normal again. You were fine before you met her, and you will be fine again. In the meantime it will hurt, but you HAVE to suffer through it.

 

[NoCommitments]

you got along pretty well????? In your words... "Basically I got really angry a lot and she cried every time"

HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy Sh*t man! Well I'm not gonna do the usual "get over it, it's over" rap because your an A*shole!!

SOOOO Instead ... here is how you get her back!!!! I've done it. It works!!....

First. If you do talk to her you need to make it known that you deserve the world because you are King S*it (but in your own NICE words of course)
Then you say you woke up & realized how great & unique you are & how you deserve to be treated like a prince because you're King S*it (again in nicer terms)
Tell her you're going to date other ppl to find the girl that will treat you like King S*it

Then *important* you have to totally cut ties from her for a while..I would give it one month.. but since you're such a F*CKIN TOOL I guess wait like 1-2 weeks. in that time she will be GOING NUTS trying to figure out what you're doing & who you're with!!! but you need to be like Houdini. No one knows where u are or what ur up to... You tell her friends you're dating if they ask

Remember people work 10 times harder for things they can't have...And 100 times harder for things that are just out of their reach

SO GOOD LUCK YOU STUPID BOY!!!

You will regret this one day! & that will be the day that she really doesn't love you anymore because you chiseled all the love out of her.
Trust me I know from experience!!! I was in your shoes 1 yr ago...I'm still getting over her. it was a mess

 

[odawg]

I feel your pain bro, not an easy thing to go through at all.

I have been in a very similar situation for this past 5 months with my girl and believe it or not we just got back with her very recently.

Basically what you should do is take a break for a while. This is imperative, whether you like it or not. Then let her contact you. I repeat go cold turkey for a while and wait for her to contact you. This is where I went wrong....at the start I came running back and pushed her away even farther.

After she starts talking to you again, make her work for it and make her jealous of other girls. This is also imperative as it shows her that other girls want you. After a while if you start talking again, try to keep the upper hand at all times.

The number 1 rule is don't supplicate. If she wants you back, she will show enough signs of it, if not then just let it go.

I would also have a think, and ask yourself if she is really worth it? If she is average, just remember there are lots of average girls out there.

My girl was worth it and we are better than ever. I am glad we broke up because we both now appreciate each other more than before. The relationship has a better chance working now than it ever had.

Good luck, and enjoy the single life for while!

p.s. be respectful, and don't do or say anything out of spite that could give her any excuse not to get back.