some advice needed

[mark john]

Hi all:

I'm planning on meeting some nice woman for a coffee tomorrow night, and unless I screw up really bad, I know I can get a more formal date with this girl.

This girl is really bending over backwards to accomodate me and to see me. She has even e-mailed me to "have a good weekend", and even phoned my office number on a Saturday (I know because I have message display).

Anyhow, if things go good on the first real date, should I dive in for a kiss, or wait until a few more dates.

 

[golf299]

well, you've got to use your best judgment and instincts. i mean, if the date goes really well, then you should be more inclined to try for the kiss than if the date goes poorly. i wouldn't worry too much about the kiss. just focus on the date, and if you make all the right moves during the date, a kiss should be easy to go for. but, then again, if all does not go as well as you had hoped, giving her a hug and kiss on the cheek is not necessairly a death sentence. but, if it doesnt happen on the first date, i would definitely go for it on the second date, regardless. good luck.

 

[The_King]

Agreed...

I think you will know if a kiss is on the cards but hey what have you got to lose. If it just does not feel right to go for it on this date...I would definately make the move on the second date as you do not want to end up being just friends and another emotional tampon for her!.

Your a man and its your reality. Why wouldn't she want a kiss off you....you have alot going and like you say she seems very keen.
Just Do It. Let us know how it goes.

Take it easy..buddy!

 

[mark john]

finally got off the clueless AFC train

Hi all:

Took the girl out on a date yesterday evening to Starbucks for a coffee. I spent a total of $5 on this girl, instead of wining and dining her like a lot of AFC's do (no flowers, just coffee and a chat for almost two hours). And definitely laid off the heavy compliments, with the only one concerning a unique ring she was wearing.

She displayed most of the buying signals that I could think of (really dialated pupils, fiddling with her chain, tuggin her shirt up by the neck, leaning in close to me, playing with her hairtouching her cheek, etc). I really believed she was into me.

Before we ended our coffee date, I told her we should do this again and she agreed to call me in a couple of days. I said to myself "I will believe it when I hear it", but she e-mailed me and told me she would call me. Later she e-mailed me back and asked me if "I should call me at work, at home, or should I call you on Monday". I told her to call me at home, and I truly believe that was the first "test" she has tried to pull on me. I handled it with confidence, and like a true man, not a "nice guy".

Anyhow, if things go good on our second date, I'm going for the kiss. She'll definitely want it, and if I don't, then it's back to the LJBF bin for me. I definitely learned that lesson from the last babe I tried to pick up three months ago.

Is it normal for a guy to turn from a clueless AFC to something better? Is taking a chick out for pizza, and a walk after a good second date? Now that I have her complete attention, can I now take her by the hand (some dating "manuals" say not to take the woman's hand).

Also, thanks for the great tips from sosuave.com and the Don Juan forums. I never realized how clueless I really was before this. I will never be an AFC again.

Bye

p.s. was her e-mailing really a test?

 

[Umbra]

Sounds like she has a really high IL. Good work. However, I wouldn't recommend pizza and a walk for a second date. If you want a walk, try a picnic at a park or on the beach. If you want pizza, take her someplace fun, like a place with video games (yes, this is fun for a girl if you play the type of games she likes to play and tease her). Either way, you won't drop too much cash. I think you should go for the kiss, but make sure you warm her up with some kino first. Light touches on the small of her back to guide her when you walk, standing close besider her or behind her to help with video games, grabbing an elbow when laughing together. I wouldn't recommend holding her hand until the relationship gets more serious. And yes, it's totally normal for AFCs to graduate to being DJs. That's the whole point of this board.

 

[mark john]

A second date

I was thinking either taking her for a game of pool and having something to eat, or taking her to the golf driving range, then something to eat.

See seems really keen on the golf thing, same as myself.

Any tips on the abobe two second date suggestions? Any other suggestions for date #2?

Unlike date #1, how long should this one last?

Thanks all

 

[Reto]

A friend of mine took this girl he met to play Mini-Golf on thier second date.

I thought that was a good idea. A completely non-serious date.

Time? Play golf. Have dinner. Take her home.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about time. Just have a good time and a PLAN. I really screwed up a date by having no plan...Got to be in control...

 

[Umbra]

Both are good for a second date (I hope you mean mini-golf or putt-putt, not a REAL driving range). Although pool will give you a better chance at kino.

 

[GynecologyEnthusiast]

If a woman has high interest in you, you can take her to the pig farm to roll around in slop and she will happily agree.

 

[Bungo Pony]

Mark John, sounds like you're doing really well with this girl. It really doesn't matter where you take her, as long as you make it fun. If you've got a sense of humor, it shouldn't be a problem. People watching is a great way to stimulate conversation. The great thing is you can watch people wherever you are - the park, Pizza Hut, Golfing, etc.

Keep up the good work!

 

[mark john]

Can you turn a girl that LJBF'd you back into a potential g/f if you show up with another chick?

 

[mark john]

Thanks Reto. Your right about the PLAN. I just set up date #2, and definitely had the PLAN laid out for pizza and a few games of pool. She agreed to the whole plan. She asked if I wanted to do it tommorrow, but I stuck with my PLAN for Monday evening, and she agreed again.

Man, is this chick throwing multiple "Tests" at me. I think that if I agreed to see her too soon, I would look like a wussie and be whipped. What do you think? Thanks.

 

[mark john]

and be thrown into the "Let's just be friends" bin.

That one really sucks.

 

[mark john]

Bam

Date #2 very successul. Went to a movie, long walk, then something light to eat. Lasted about three and a half hours, and then went for the kiss at the end.

She really wanted it and had no objections. Next date is already set up.

Thanks all.