Social Phobia

[Prestige]

Alright.. so I really want to change myself and the way people view me and feel about me, both male and female.. Im the guy that everyone is nice to, but poeple are only cool with me if im there at the time.. they talk to me when they see me and make plans or something , but then they never call,msg or invite me out to parties or anything.

I read this quote in the Bible and i have a few questions about it..

"There was a time that I suffered from social phobia, then I realized some of the mistakes I was making that kept me from vibing properly.

1- Talking/moving too fast.
2- Not maintaining eye contact.
3- Not talking at all, lost in my own thoughts and spacing out.
4- Nervous fidgeting, closed body language.
5- Censoring my words, being insincere.
6- Getting offended when people poked fun at me.
7- Worrying about the impression I was making.
8- Over-selling myself, trying to be 'cool' "

Pretty much describes me to a Tee. I think the ones that are the worst for me are 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 and 8 and I was wondering if u guys had any tips or ways to practise this ****..

Ohhh, and one more thing.. when someone actually does invite me to go out.. I always seem to **** myself over because I get all freaked out of the above 'list' and I go into like panic mode and it ruins any good,positive 'state' I may have been in.

 

[playboy_supreme]

1. slow down you speach, learn when to pause. walk at a steady confident pace

2. keep eye contact always. who looks away first looses. by keeping eye contact you can also observe for IOIs

3. Concentrate and be in the moment. dont detach your self, thinking can happen in your own time. this one is hard to stop i suffer from it when im bored and tend to let my mind wonder into possible senarios. keep your mind fixed on what you are doing, people are saying and look for ways to join in instead of day dreaming

4 again concentrate, keep your mind in the moment and be aware of what your doing. if you catch your self fidgeting then stop. be aware of your body language. do a search on how to read and project it.

5. people are not going to be offended by what you say! say what you want and dont give a f**k.

6. depends on the fun poking need more info. but learn some c&f or amog tactics. learn to take a joke and poke fun at your self as well as others in a playful fashion demonstrating your not up your own ass

7. thats your ego talking. your trying to hard to be perfect. no one but me is perfect . let your self go. if some one doesnt like you. good for them. you dont need every one to like you. if you make a bad impression so what? do you really care that much if some ones made a bad impression on you?

8. dont act!!! become. you know what you want to be so become it. dont try and spit out some cool phrase uve heard on a TV show, dont dress in the latest trend of clothing if it doesnt suit you. dont follow others you percieve to be cool. weather you are cool or not doesnt matter. if you are a strong confident person who has fun, can hold a conversation, can laugh, can make people laugh, can show people a good time and can create attraction in any one you want. then why does it matter if some one says ur uncool

most of what you are doing is all down to inner game and emotional controll. i can see now the person you want to be and the person you are. the only thing stopping you is your self. you are trying to hard to be perfect. you are going to get humiliated, shot down, made fun off, f**k things up. its how you deal with these things that count. eventually you wont recognise these things any more for what they are because you will have learned to deal with them appropreatly.

read this
http://www.goal-setting-guide.com/ebooks/powerofconcentration/1.html

its a free ebook called the power of concentration. despite the title its about more than concentration. but this will open your eyes to alot of things and hopefully stop your mind from wondering and motivate you to make a change

heres a small piece

Everyone really wants to do something, but there are few that will put forward the needed effort to make the necessary sacrifice to secure it. There is only one way to accomplish anything and that is to go ahead and do it. A man may accomplish almost anything today, if he just sets his heart on doing it and lets nothing interfere with his progress. Obstacles are quickly overcome by the man that sets out to accomplish his heart's desire. The "bigger" the man, the smaller the obstacle appears. The "smaller" the man the greater the obstacle appears. Always look at the advantage you gain by overcoming obstacles, and it will give you the needed courage for their conquest.

 

[everywomanshero]

First, I think you do have a serious problem. One that should result in a trip to your Doctor. You probably need some sort of anxiety reducing help that no one here i qualified to provide you with.

Once you've done that it's time to "feel the fear and doit it anyway". You just have to ****ing do it at that point, no other way around it. Reading magazines and doing self-hypnosis won't cut it. You can try finding a wing man which will make it easier, but at some point you gotta ****ing do it man.

Shark's Basic Playboy CD is very good for crossing the line into action, IMHO.