"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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social circle 30+ men

truthistruth

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How did you build your social circle who's with you for local events/ bars /vacation

if you are 30+ most of them married wont hang out with you
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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rhodey

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truthistruth said:
How did you build your social circle who's with you for local events/ bars /vacation

if you are 30+ most of them married wont hang out with you

Pursue YOUR hobbies. You will find like minded people that you can easily connect with.
 

zekko

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Find some guys around age 24 to hang out with. You don't have to hang around all people your own age.
 

AmIAFC

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truthistruth said:
How did you build your social circle who's with you for local events/ bars /vacation

if you are 30+ most of them married wont hang out with you
Follow rhodey's suggestion.

To expand on that, the only real reason younger people make friends so quickly is because they're locked in an institution (school) with hundreds and thousands of individual their age. Same applies to work.

You can't really just go out to short-term venues like a bar or club and expect to make a lot of new friends. Friendships tend to be forged within the confines of an institution, hobby, or close-knit community. You have to embrace or become a member of one of these to take serious strides in developing and expanding your social circle.
 

everywomanshero

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What do you want a huge posse of dudes for, unless you're seeking advice on how to pick up men? I have no advice on this as I am not gay. Generally, "wingmen" get in my way or gawk annoyingly rather than doing anything productive. I've found them be a pain in the ass in general. It might seem scary to go out alone, but really it is easier. I can only think of one time a wingman was truly nessicary and I didn't end up getting laid out of the deal anyway so....

As far as vacations, just take a woman with you or meet people once your flight is in. Plane rides can actually be a good place to meet women. Fly down to South America, you can meet all kind of women with no wingman needed or set up a bunch of Internet ladies in some random US city and then go bang them all one after another. There's too much pvssy to be had to be worrying about dudes imo
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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