So they tell me to be a man...

[Stackthestyles]

You do know that I am, and always will be a child at heart. I can seduce women into calling me a cuddly koala bear. They'll hug me, nuzzle, cuddle, and snuggle with me. I love giving massages. Playing foolish games like making fart jokes, and teasing people because of their clothes is awesome.

Suddenly the concept of "BE A MAN" comes into play! I lose myself when I am surrounded by hardasses and jerks, my nice guy shines and I exemplify chivalry. I notice the dfference between the nice guy and the jerk. I dig through my mind and compare and contrast being in the "nice guy" state and the "MAN" state.

Every time a new concept comes to light, "be a man" is the resounding voice coming from the experienced players. They have their own style, and the way they describe it is those three words. We, as KBJ's rAFC's wbAFC's and aspiring DJ's are lost. "Be a man" means nothing to us. If we ask about drama, we are told we don't need it. We ask about neghits, we are told we don't need them. Awareness radius? Bogus. Routines? Crutches. Speed seduction? Creepy. AMOGing? ruthless. Peacocking? Flamingly flamboyant.

But the problem is that some of us ARE JUST LEARNING how to be man. So for us, we DO have to worry about doing these things, until eventually we are sure enough of ourselves that they come naturally. Until then it's all good and well to say "Just BE A MAN". But there are many of us who are thinking, "how?". Well...JUST BE A MAN!
You see it's not that much help. So learning to do you own stuff, and live your own life, and ensure a little bit of swing and sway in the relationship is something that some of us need to work on. It's not something that comes naturally to alot of the people that post here.

Which is why I ask.

I want to create drama in my own life. Drama that forces me to learn. I am willing to step beyond my boundaries.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

You're making the mistake of assuming that being a man means being an a$$hole.

The jerks do show much of the qualities that are what a "real man" is but they also exhibit behaviour that is childish, even more so than the "nice guy".
They are selfish, and belittle others to boost themselves up. Doesn't sound like a real man, to me.
What they do show is strength. They have spines. Nice guys don't.

A real man isn't a jerk, n'or a nice guy. He is a standup kinda guy. Never pushes others down but never ever lets himself be pushed around, either. He's never insulting but also is never looking to prove himself worthy of anyone else's attention or affection.

Jerks and nice guys are very simillar in mindset, though their ******d behaviour is extremely different.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

in my post above, the forum censored the word "o u t w a r d"?

 

[Jariel]

You're making the mistake of assuming that being a man means being an a$$hole.

The jerks do show much of the qualities that are what a "real man" is but they also exhibit behaviour that is childish, even more so than the "nice guy".
They are selfish, and belittle others to boost themselves up. Doesn't sound like a real man, to me.
What they do show is strength. They have spines. Nice guys don't.

A real man isn't a jerk, n'or a nice guy. He is a standup kinda guy. Never pushes others down but never ever lets himself be pushed around, either. He's never insulting but also is never looking to prove himself worthy of anyone else's attention or affection.

Jerks and nice guys are very simillar in mindset, though their ******d behaviour is extremely different.

I echo this!

 

[d9930380]

The Bad Ass Canadian - Good post.

I've been a nice guy all my life. Never wanted confrontation, held any bad feelings about people (girls or guys) hoping they would change and when they don't after time explode etc.

The truth is it all comes down to acceptance. We all want to be accepted and we do what we can to be accepted. Once you realise that you can't force someone to like you or accept you and you realise that by doing so they will respect you less - You come to the conclusion of "**** them" - I just wish I had of come to that MUCH earlier in life.

Definately if I have kids - I will teach them that. Something my parents never taught me, infact they did the opposite. Look for the good in everyone - What a load of religious bull**** - although on closer examination the bible doesn't even teach that.

 

[d9930380]

KillaPetehog - Good Post

 

[Bat]

A MAN takes power and takes control.
A Nice guy is a fukin bytch who lets his girl or his wife run the show.

A MAN takes care of his OWN needs, OWN dreams, OWN ambitions and OWN life before he helps others.
A Nice guy is the bytch who HELPS EVERYBODY and tries to HELP OTHERS..when he should be helping himself. He seeks to help other guys, when HE is clearly the one who needs help.

A MAN is willing to take risk, danger and he is not afraid of failure! He is A MAN WHO HAS SCARS. He has made mistakes and he has LEARNED FROM THEM!!!

A Nice Guy is the bytch who frustrates the fuk out of women because he is too afraid, too timid, too weak, too scared to accept risk and danger. He is a man of NO SCARS.

A MAN has the power to EMPOWER those who are weaker than him, the POWER to crush those who OPPOSE him.
A Nice guy is the bytch who lets people walk all over him.

A MAN DEALS WITH HIS OWN NEEDS.
The Nice Guy looks for the needs of others…and DOES NOT SEE..that HE is the one who needs help.

A MAN DOES NOT GIVE A FUK WHAT OTHERS THINK OF HIM. HE IS SECURE WITH HIMSELF.

The Nice Guy seeks approval from others. He is a bytch because he is AFRAID that others won’t like him…and so he acts a certain way and dresses a certain way. He seeks validation from people. IN his FEAR OF DISSAPPROVAL and in his attempts to get approval, he hides his sexuality and he repels women.

A MAN FACES DANGER, for he knows that ADVERSITY is the key to growth.
The Nice Guy avoids conflict, even if it is something that would help him grow.

A MAN KNOWS HIS FLAWS. HE DISPLAYS IT AS LOUD AS HE CAN SO THAT HE CAN LEARN FROM HIS MISTAKES. THEN HE FIXES THOSE FLAWS!!!

The Nice guy hides his mistakes and flaws. He is afraid. He is afraid that people will get mad at him, shame him and leave him if some mistake or shortcoming is exposed. HE IS A SHEEP. HE FOLLOWS OTHERS…AND FOR THIS REASON, HE WILL LIVE A LIFE OF MEDIOCRITY!!!

The Man knows that Life is meant to be difficult and he embraces a challenge! He is willing to take that RISK, to take that DANGER and to learn from it…for A MAN GROWS FROM HARDSHIP. A MAN GROWS FROM ADVERSITY. DIAMONDS WITH FLAWS ARE BETTER THAN FLAWLESS PEBBLES.

The Nice Guy seeks to find a happy-problem free life.

The Man has many friends. He has many female friends and male friends. He knows that the keys to woman’s heart is through his words. He is MAGNETIC. HE SPEAKS WITH ALL WOMEN with SEXUALITY and ROMANCE. He leaves NO ROOM FOR FRIENDSHIPS without Sex.

The Nice Guy has VERY few male friends. He looks down on the Jerk. He looks down on other men. He thinks and acts like a woman. He tries to get the approval of women and he tries to CONVINCE THEM that he is different from other men. Meanwhile, the MAN sleeps with these women..while the Nice Guy stands in awe. In his attempts to prove to the Woman that he IS NOT selfish, abusive, callous…etc…HE FAILS.

The Nice guy attempts to CONVINCE to seek affirmation.

The MAN ACTS.

Bravo!

 

[Rocko]

what they said up there

 

[Hawke]

Great post killaPetehog, just a couple of areas i'd like to hear your view on though. And others to if you have your opinions... which i'm sure you do.

A MAN takes care of his OWN needs, OWN dreams, OWN ambitions and OWN life before he helps others.
A Nice guy is the bytch who HELPS EVERYBODY and tries to HELP OTHERS..when he should be helping himself. He seeks to help other guys, when HE is clearly the one who needs help.

This area always get's me a little confused. I realise that you should take care of your needs first, your dreams, etc. But when it comes to helping others, i'm sure you don't mean that's a bad thing right? I mean even in the distant past the Alpha male of groups sorted out the problems of the group, and today in groups you always see that the main "leader" of the group is always makng sure that those in their group, their friends are ok.

So are you saying that it's just bad when your putting others needs before your own?

The Man has many friends. He has many female friends and male friends. He knows that the keys to woman’s heart is through his words. He is MAGNETIC. HE SPEAKS WITH ALL WOMEN with SEXUALITY and ROMANCE. He leaves NO ROOM FOR FRIENDSHIPS without Sex.

So the man is both friends with these women, these female friends, and yet has no room for friendships with women without sex... can you explain that in a clearer way.

 

[crumpiteer]

This area always get's me a little confused. I realise that you should take care of your needs first, your dreams, etc. But when it comes to helping others, i'm sure you don't mean that's a bad thing right? I mean even in the distant past the Alpha male of groups sorted out the problems of the group, and today in groups you always see that the main "leader" of the group is always makng sure that those in their group, their friends are ok.

So are you saying that it's just bad when your putting others needs before your own?

God helps those who help themselves.

if we don’t take care of ourselves, sooner or later we won’t be of much use to anyone else—or to ourselves. Just as the airline attendant tells you to put on your own oxygen mask in an emergency before helping a child with theirs, you must take care of your own basic needs before you can attend to the needs of others.

 

[Big Eee Zee]

being a man is complicated, you can define it so many ways...just be a good guy. stick to your convictions and dont let yourself be led any other way. it sounds like you're most of the way there as is, just make sure to take care of your responsibilities (money, eduction, lady etc...) and keep your eyes open.


you'll go far i think...

 

[DarkLight]

The Bad Ass Canadian/KillaPeteHog... great posts.

Its about Spine,Balls,heart and Spirit.

Quality character from the strength of your soul. Perseverance w. heart.

I saw a great message on a t-shirt today. It said... "let youself, be yourself"
And thats your true self. Not the conditioned little nice AFC self.

I'm talking the real man within you. The man that wants to ravenously connect with woman. The man that wants to fvck every hot piece of ass he sees while out. The man that wants to breathe deep, and jump off a cliff into the wild ocean.

To stand strong and powerful in the light of your courageous spirit. Without thought for what "others" think. For in truth, there is no "other." Share yourself and realize yourself. Be fearless and live your truth. Therin lies the beauty and glory of man... the power to live in realness. Live it!