So quick question

[Stephen23]

I`m planning to start some serious change in my life i think my attention is on women too much maybe that`s why i cant seem to get them off that damn pedestal even when i`ve seen for myself time and time again just how women really are.

so what i plan to do is take a six months break from anything to do with woman(meaning acting like they don`t really exist) and work only on myself i`ve been meaning to hit the gym for a while now since i`m so insecure about being skinny so i got a gym membership and i`m starting in January i also want to find a hobby or a passion in the mean time while i`m just focusing on myself.

Now my question is should i really take a six months break from anything to do with women and work on myself or should i keep giving women attention while i work on myself?

 

[Fzatf]

I`m planning to start some serious change in my life i think my attention is on women too much maybe that`s why i cant seem to get them off that damn pedestal even when i`ve seen for myself time and time again just how women really are.

so what i plan to do is take a six months break from anything to do with woman(meaning acting like they don`t really exist) and work only on myself i`ve been meaning to hit the gym for a while now since i`m so insecure about being skinny so i got a gym membership and i`m starting in January i also want to find a hobby or a passion in the mean time while i`m just focusing on myself.

Now my question is should i really take a six months break from anything to do with women and work on myself or should i keep giving women attention while i work on myself?

Nothing wrong with taking a break from putting a lot of energy into women, but if you have an easy opportunity go for it. If a girl you like is showing interest or you feel like hitting a club or bar, you shouldn't shy from hitting on girls. You just don't need to put a bunch of hours in the week to make it happen.

As for gaining muscle mass, make sure you have a caloric surplus of 250-500 calories over your totally daily expenditure. This is easy to track with myfitnesspal app. There's some dispute about how much protein you really need, but those in the fitness industry advocate for 1g of protein per pound you weigh a day.

 

[ohrein]

There's some dispute about how much protein you really need, but those in the fitness industry advocate for 1g of protein per pound you weigh a day.

From what I've heard, the reputable number is 0.84g per lb of bodyweight. This number is conservative, meaning it's actually probably lower. 1g per lb is what I aim for though as there's no harm in extra, just understand it's not really doing anything in terms of muscle growth. I've consistently hit 1kg of gains per month for the whole year. Some of it is fat, but most of it is muscle. People who say 2-3g per lb are very wrong and there's plenty of great videos going over the studies that get you at the 0.84g. On the lower end, 0.6g per lb is thought to be sufficient, but not optimum.

 

[ohrein]

Now my question is should i really take a six months break from anything to do with women and work on myself or should i keep giving women attention while i work on myself?

Yes! I did a couple of years and it was well worth it. You come out with clarity, higher self worth, higher SMV. Build a life you love before you invite women into it.

 

[Serenity]

(meaning acting like they don`t really exist)

That's still a kind of reaction, you'll have to actively ignore them because you can't just act like they're not there when they are. When I had a break I didn't ignore them entirely, but I didn't try to game them either. I didn't go out of my way to try to get them, but I would casually chat just like I would with a guy if they were present. My break just lasted 3 weeks though, those 3 weeks of pure self focus did wonders. I felt a lot better, a lot less pressured, didn't care if my natural self would ruin chances and I felt free from the desire that had trapped me. The break ended because I met a girl, at no point in my interaction with her did I consciously concern myself with trying to attract her, but she was fun to talk to. One thing just led to the next and she went home with me, I didn't expect to hear from her after she left the next morning and I was fine with that. I had a bit of a dilemma when she sent me a text appreciating our time together and wanting to see me again. Should I respond or ignore? I responded saying she can come to my place again, I didn't want to waste time, if she really likes me she will come. My goal was after all to not involve myself with women, I just went along as she involved herself with me.

I think this was clearly a result of me being in a better state of mind. After a couple of years of struggling and trying a multitude of ways to attract women, I wasn't able to make anyone stay. Then as I finally got sick of it and gave up completely I got success with no effort at all. Life is ironic, there's more things I've gotten just as I give up my desire for it.

Desire clouds your judgement, it's a trap. Let go and it might come to you, if not you're at least free from the pain of not having it.

 

[Stephen23]

interesting I've never thought of it like that