"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

So I met this chick and I think I'm off to a bad start already....

XMinister

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Since I recently began stepping my game up (started a year ago), its been a fun ride. I met a lot of beautiful women and I have become comfortable around them. I've had a few heart breaks, but its all part of progress. So last week I met this great chick. She has a lot of the same interests, she was a lot less shallow than most of the other chicks I hung around with, etc, so I was very interested in finding out more about her and I noticed she was really into me too too. She kept complementing me about some of my features (muscles, eyes, habits, etc) and kept telling me how much I turned her on. We made out, F'ed, and ended the night. She said she wants to know more about me and she wants to meet up again soon.

So without thinking, I text her two days later saying "lets hang out tomorrow" and she didn't respond. So I called her the next day and she didn't pick up. So I left it how it was. Two days later, she text me saying "sorry, I have been caught up at school, its finals week, but yeah, I'd definitely love to hang out again soon ;)" So I text her the next day and said "alright, good luck with school, lets hook up this weekend then." and I sent it without realizing that I was sounding kind of desperate. Maybe I'm over thinking, but I think I am definitely leaning towards the desperate side already in the situation, but I'm glad I caught it earlier than later.

So how do you guys think I can redeem myself here? I feel like I am already setting myself up for failure, so I want to try to reverse that.

Another thing I want to ask my more experienced comrades is about being "rough".

This seems to be a common denominator with a few of the girls I've been with recently, especially my ex.

They want me to get "rough". I have got pretty aggressive with hair pulling ass slapping, etc, but beyond that, the only ideas I am getting of rough and aggressive are violent. This new girl also mentioned after we F'ed that she likes to be submissive and wants me to be a little rougher. I usually ignore such requests, but it seems I am getting that a lot from chicks recently.

So my second question would be, what are some tips or ideas about being rougher/more aggressive, aside from the things I mentioned above?

Thanks
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Iceberg

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XMinister said:
Maybe I'm over thinking, but I think I am definitely leaning towards the desperate side already in the situation, but I'm glad I caught it earlier than later.

So how do you guys think I can redeem myself here?
I think you're being a bit too hard on yourself. Yes, you are leaning towards the desperate side. But you're not there yet. I probably would have said the same thing you did. "No worries. I'll see what's up this weekend."

It's not so bad.

They want me to get "rough". I have got pretty aggressive with hair pulling ass slapping, etc, but beyond that, the only ideas I am getting of rough and aggressive are violent. This new girl also mentioned after we F'ed that she likes to be submissive and wants me to be a little rougher. I usually ignore such requests, but it seems I am getting that a lot from chicks recently.

So my second question would be, what are some tips or ideas about being rougher/more aggressive, aside from the things I mentioned above?

Thanks
Isn't it funny how chicks want you to basically beat the hell out of them during sex? It's like the opposite of what most of those guys walking around think. I swear, I haven't been with a girl yet who HASN'T wanted rough sex.

As far as roughness goes, I think you're doing it right. Ass slapping. Hair pulling. Light biting. And I don't like plowing away at a girl like a jackhammer, but hell, if they ask for it....do that too. This one chick last month bit me on my goddamn collar bone. I was bruised for a week. These chicks are violent, man...and then they'll wake up and make you some breakfast. Guess that's why I love them.
 

loveshogun

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Iceberg said:
As far as roughness goes, I think you're doing it right. Ass slapping. Hair pulling. Light biting. And I don't like plowing away at a girl like a jackhammer, but hell, if they ask for it....do that too. This one chick last month bit me on my goddamn collar bone. I was bruised for a week. These chicks are violent, man...and then they'll wake up and make you some breakfast. Guess that's why I love them.

Amen.

As for roughness, a good place to bite that is sensitive, but also resilient, is the girl's traps (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trapezius_muscle). Start with a nibble. Spanking is a big plus too, because the ass was made for whuppin'.

I'm currently investigating a ballerina who can touch the back of her head with her foot. One word: tight. Also, great spankin' ass.
 

XMinister

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Thanks

Thanks guys. Yeah, I guess it is too early to assume the worst. Yeah, the rough stuff gets a little confusing sometimes. I don't like the whole jackhammering thing either, but every time I think I'm getting too rough, I either get a hint or I've been straight up told to get a little rougher. I Haha, yeah, I know what you mean with these violent chicks. Every now and then I get a bloody lip or something from getting bite, random scratch marks, etc.....gotta love them!

Oh, Loveshogun I'll definitely try out the biting, the traps sound like a great idea. And good shi't with that ballerina! Sweet find.
 

XMinister

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UPDATE

So she hasn't responded to me after that. I ended up texting her again tonight. I just said something simple to test the waters. I said "how's practice going?" because she's on some lacrosse team. I'll wait to see what happens. I'm attempting to spin a few plates, but I'm really interested in that chick, I hate the waiting game......
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Chickfight

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yeah bro, its starting to get a desperate vibe, but you're def not there yet. I would not text her again until she hits you up and play it a bit more aloof. After you've had sex, you don't really have to pursue her anymore, she should be coming to you and she should also be the one trying to work towards a relationship, not you.

and yeah rough sex = good sex for most women ;)
 
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PrettyBoyAJ

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Just delete her number so you won't get into to much trouble. When she contacts you that is the only time you can respond.
 

XMinister

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Shi't, yeah. That's a good idea. I deleted her number. I should have thought of that sooner. Now I can't get in touch with her again so I should be better off and I can focus on other chicks for now. I'm a little too hard on myself. I figured I was already in at the point of no return with a huge desperation vibe, but when I think about it, but you're right, it seems I'm not fully there and I should stop while I'm ahead.

Thanks guys, I'll keep ya'll updates.
 

XMinister

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So she hasn't responded to me yet, but I know her show is tomorrow. I deleted her number, but I can find it in my call log. Back when we first hung out, she was telling she has a show coming up and I can come if I'd like. A few friends of mine suggested that I should give her a call or send a text asking her where the show is and that I'd like to support her. Now in my opinion, I think its a bad idea and I should forget about her for now, but all my buddies are telling me otherwise. What do you guys think?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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crazyboy

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Now you sound kinda desperate look if a woman is interested in you should make easy for you to see her .
 

Iceberg

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XMinister said:
So she hasn't responded to me yet, but I know her show is tomorrow. I deleted her number, but I can find it in my call log. Back when we first hung out, she was telling she has a show coming up and I can come if I'd like. A few friends of mine suggested that I should give her a call or send a text asking her where the show is and that I'd like to support her. Now in my opinion, I think its a bad idea and I should forget about her for now, but all my buddies are telling me otherwise. What do you guys think?
Desperation.
 

XMinister

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Okay, I figured I was acting pretty gay. Although this chick was pretty chill. I'll just continue on my quest of spinning plates and leave it up to her whether she wants to hit me up or not. I recently broke off from a bad relationship, so I guess the effects haven't wore off and its effecting my other relationships with women.......
 

Deadly_Ripped

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This is why I don't initiate texts when I first meet a girl... it always leaves me feeling sooo insecure immediately after. Then I'm tempted to check my phone and re-read what I sent and analyze it.

The phone call/voicemail takes more balls, but it's also WAY more effective than texts.
 

LoneWolf

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man i feel you i do.. i know how you feel. but you have to stop before you lose her. i was doing the same thing with the girl im seeing. i stopped texting and calling and she came back to me. i think you might of went overboard though. you should only ever text/call a girl ONCE after you fuk them or even wait for them to contact you. that's just how it is. you should of only texted once maybe 4 days later after the sex and say "hey lets catch up on saturday."

either way, when you texted her and called, she stopped responding after the first time. if a girl is really into you she WILL COME BACK TO YOU.

you going through your call logs is too much bro, stop it. go find other girls, if this one doesn't come back it's your fault. damage has been done, don't make it even worse. the only thing you can do now is leave her alone and she'll come back if she wants. if not, move on.

oh and also, when you contact a girl and she doesn't reply, you have to assume that's the end of it. one of my rules is when i contact a girl via text or call, and they don't reply, i assume they aren't interested and i move on. i never call or text again, ever.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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XMinister

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Thanks guys.

Deadly, I agree with you, I'm NEVER going to text again unless I'm responding to one, lesson learned. Calling is definitely the more assertive and manly approach.

Wolf, thanks bro. Its been a month since I last texted her and I believe her that she's super busy this whole month(finals, practicing for competition, parental curfew, etc), but she can't be THAT busy. I did f-up and good thing I posted before I sent another text, I don't want to make things worse, the advice here never fails so even if there is a small window open, I'll leave it at that rather than shut it completely. At this point, its been about a month, I think that's too much time to assume she's coming back, but I'll leave it alone and see what happens.........
 

JPlaya

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Honestly, how does it take two days for somebody to respond.
 

XMinister

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JPlaya, I found that weird too, that's why I sort of believe her that she's really busy. But the fact that she did respond made me believe that she's still interested. Plus the fact that she was all over me throwing out complements and saying how it was "fate" that we met and shi't. Then I began to get a little too eager after she text me that.......I just went through a bad break up two weeks before I met her. I figured I'd spin plates and get over the girl I broke up with, but I think it was too soon, my AFC'ness carried over to this chick, but I'm putting effort to not make it worse than it already is.
 
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