So I actually made myself approach a girl who was exactly my taste tonight

[sazc]

If you want to appeal to her when you ask her out, then suggest doing something she is interested in/will like/something fun to do in the city.

I'm suggesting this based on the assumption that you asked these types of questions when you chatted her up the night you met her. If you suggest an activity you already know she likes doing, you will have a greater chance of success that she will say yes.

As far as get being newly single, don't smother her. That's probably why she hasn't responded to you, because you smothered her in text. It's not about the content, it's about the frequency.

When a guy really chats me up over text, I know he's interested. She just ended a relationship, she doesn't want to think a stranger is overly interested in her right now, she wants to have fun with someone, the kind of fun that leads EVENTUALLY to romance and falling in love.

So don't get mushy in text and don't over text her.

Recent mushy texting examples that I have encountered....

"good morning [name] I brought you a virtual latte from Starbucks, I hope you have a great day"

And

Me: " honestly, on old it seems to be a hit or miss with been, mostly miss"
Him "I'll prove to you that im different "

both of these examples demonstrate a man who is desperate, a man who measures his own value partly by having a woman

DO NOT be that man.

i say you figure out what type of date might appeal to her, and all her out for this weekend, a day date.

then you drop her off at home and head to the bars and do what amante asked you to do.

 

[RickTheToad]

45 minutes from Chicago? That's not bad or prohibitive at all.

I've got to tell you, dude... I used to spend a lot of time in the Chicago subs (around the Waukeegan area), and I found it ridiculously easy to pull attractive girls, even though I didn't know what I was doing. In fact, to this day I occasionally tell people how different and easy it is in Chicago than in NY.

Every trip out there netted me attractive companionship. If ever there was an easy environment, it's the Midwest in my experience.

Come to New York and you'll realize how hard it actually is. You've got the world at your fingertips, if only you will see that.

The problem with NY is it's so prohibitively expensive to get to the city; let alone get a drink with a lady. When I was in Queens in my 20's, it wasn't that bad, but now... Wow. I've tried, and the ladies are certainly attractive, but I'm spending 100 bucks just to get in and out of the city. Now, I hear they want to have another toll for congestion. What DiBlasio and Cuomo are doing are making Manhattan and Brooklyn prohibitively too expensive to commute to for social purposes. I've toyed with the idea of renting a small place in either, but the rents are just sky high.

@bigdave17, have you considered renting a small apt in Chicago? Maybe even split the rent with some of your friends to help lessen the cost? It could solve your issues in meeting the types of ladies you wish to meet. I have the reverse issue within ladies from Brooklyn and Manhattan. They will meet me in the city, but I just don't want to go down there due to the costs.

 

[RickTheToad]

If you want to appeal to her when you ask her out, then suggest doing something she is interested in/will like/something fun to do in the city.

I'm suggesting this based on the assumption that you asked these types of questions when you chatted her up the night you met her. If you suggest an activity you already know she likes doing, you will have a greater chance of success that she will say yes.

As far as get being newly single, don't smother her. That's probably why she hasn't responded to you, because you smothered her in text. It's not about the content, it's about the frequency.

When a guy really chats me up over text, I know he's interested. She just ended a relationship, she doesn't want to think a stranger is overly interested in her right now, she wants to have fun with someone, the kind of fun that leads EVENTUALLY to romance and falling in love.

So don't get mushy in text and don't over text her.

Recent mushy texting examples that I have encountered....

"good morning [name] I brought you a virtual latte from Starbucks, I hope you have a great day"

And

Me: " honestly, on old it seems to be a hit or miss with been, mostly miss"
Him "I'll prove to you that im different "

both of these examples demonstrate a man who is desperate, a man who measures his own value partly by having a woman

DO NOT be that man.

i say you figure out what type of date might appeal to her, and all her out for this weekend, a day date.

then you drop her off at home and head to the bars and do what amante asked you to do.

 

[RickTheToad]

If you want to appeal to her when you ask her out, then suggest doing something she is interested in/will like/something fun to do in the city.

I'm suggesting this based on the assumption that you asked these types of questions when you chatted her up the night you met her. If you suggest an activity you already know she likes doing, you will have a greater chance of success that she will say yes.

As far as get being newly single, don't smother her. That's probably why she hasn't responded to you, because you smothered her in text. It's not about the content, it's about the frequency.

When a guy really chats me up over text, I know he's interested. She just ended a relationship, she doesn't want to think a stranger is overly interested in her right now, she wants to have fun with someone, the kind of fun that leads EVENTUALLY to romance and falling in love.

So don't get mushy in text and don't over text her.

Recent mushy texting examples that I have encountered....

"good morning [name] I brought you a virtual latte from Starbucks, I hope you have a great day"

And

Me: " honestly, on old it seems to be a hit or miss with been, mostly miss"
Him "I'll prove to you that im different "

both of these examples demonstrate a man who is desperate, a man who measures his own value partly by having a woman

DO NOT be that man.

i say you figure out what type of date might appeal to her, and all her out for this weekend, a day date.

then you drop her off at home and head to the bars and do what amante asked you to do.

I think it depends on the type of text you are sending. If a dude can make it a bit sexual, but not in your face with innuendos and a wink face, that usually helps; IF the lady has some interest. At least, it doesn't give off the neediness or "friend" vibe. Replying in short one or two word texts do not work either. Cause then she could think the dude is a prick or not interested.

If a lady reaches out to me, I text a bit, but try to expand and find something I can turn into a bit of a mild risque type of chat to gauge her interest.

 

[bigdave17]

And you can know all of these things about a woman with a single glance? Without speaking one word to them?

Impressive.

You can tell based on how a woman looks, dresses, carries herself and how she speaks whether she's quality

A lot of it is obvious - nice fit body, cute face, no tattoos, looks good with minimal makeup, dresses and carries herself with close, has a kind look in the face, etc... i judge a lot based on body language and energy they express in addition to liking a fat ass and thick athletic legs

 

[bigdave17]

I keep telling you that you're far too particular, and you keep on posting about how few women fit your taste.

You're in boot camp, bro. Work on yourself with less than ideal women and then work your way up to your taste. You have to earn the right to date better women.

I assume the "headphone issue" is that they're working out with headphones and you can't make conversation. If that's correct, the solution is eye contact, a nod and a friendly half-smile. She will find a way to get near you without her headphones on.

I've already slept with the nonsense - single moms, chubby girls, women over 30

Now i need my hot Latina girlfriend

 

[Atom Smasher]

I've already slept with the nonsense - single moms, chubby girls, women over 30

Now i need my hot Latina girlfriend

Then you should stop complaining about the same old thing day after day here. What good is whining about it doing you? You don’t seriously think someone is going to give you a magic wand, do you?

You have all the knowledge you need to make something happen. But it takes more than knowledge. It takes some grit and determination to get the job done.

What do you think SoSuave is going to do for you at this point?

I think you’re about ready for a time-out.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Everybody, I’ve given Dave a 45 day time-out. He really needs to get away from this place and regain perspective.

If he wants to come back after 45 days he may, but he will most assuredly not be allowed to continue his current trajectory.

All of us, both mods and members, have been more than fair and patient. Clearly it’s time to act and give him time away, for his good and the forum’s.