"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Small tip on reducing flaking

vorbis

Senior Don Juan
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For me, after I got a bit better at chatting to girls, the problem of FLAKING reared its ugly head. Daygame or nightgame, you talk to her for a bit, get the number and you think nice one!

There are two avenues open to you now depending on her interest level.

Firstly is high interest level. You've been talking and building rapport, comfort etc. for a while (20 mins + as a guide) Essentially, you get the feeling that she's fairly into you. It appears that most tips on this site are geared towards this type of number close. I.e. wait 3 days, don't act too interested etc.

The second type of close is where that I was getting a LOT of flakes from. You meet a girl on the T, book store, at the bar while getting a drink. You chat and it goes well but the interaction time is only about 10 minutes or less. Here you do not have enough interest built to play the waiting game, she'll simply forget you. i wasted a lot of opportunities waiting a few days to call such a prospect (didn't even get them on the phone in some cases!).

What's been working recently is texting the girl on the same day I get her number! As an example, I number closed a girl while heading to meet my friends on Sat night, she was going to a different bar. In the past I would have waited a few days to call her and it would have been a bust.

Instead I texted her a few hours later asking if she found her bar. I got a reply that same night and called her Monday to set up a date. In another case, a girl texted me back that night at 1 in the morning asking where I was! Too bad my phone delivered the message in the morning :mad:

Ironically, it is socially acceptable to start texting a girl straight away (don't overdo the texts though!). Calling straight away would be seen as weird. Chances are she's still in a good state regarding you (hasn't had time to forget you) If she responds, one text or two back and forth and THEN the first call will be a lot smoother. Hope this is helpful for guys experiencing flaking.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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realsmoothie

Master Don Juan
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In my opinion, texting just sucks. It reeks of being girly. High school kids text.

I see no problem in calling back the same day. I actually think it's kind of cool, because after Swingers and all of this macho "disinterested" stuff came around, EVERYONE waits a few days to call.

(Heh... to quote the movie and tinker with it a bit "yeah, I used to wait three days, but now I think the same day is kind of money").

Calling right away might actually be a sign of self-confidence, at least with some girls. And they're not going to forget who you are if you do it early enough, as you said.
 

THE_ADDMAN

Master Don Juan
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I agree with ya smoothie. nothing wrong with calling sooner rather than later.

in the words of George Carlin: all about the CONTEXT
 

Nighthawk

Master Don Juan
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Pros and cons of texting aside, I approve of this tip but would suggest something cheekier like 'hey drunkie-pants, did you get home safely? Or are you dead in a ditch somewhere?'

Texting can be a way of supplementing your real life interactions or phone calls, but my tip is to make them funny, ****y and sexually suggestive as soon as possible. If you think that will put a girl off, try it and see.
 

Hitman10000

Master Don Juan
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Building rapport is necessarily, if you two click well in conversation the much more likely the two of you will see each other. If the convo sucks from one side or both sides it's not gonna work. I'm not asking you two talk to someone for 1-2 hours, 15 min a day on the phone is usually enough, if you want to communicate by word, keep it at email.. Text messaging, instant messaging is the lowest form of communication. If the communication just sucks it means the "vibe" isn't there and that in itself is pretty bad and would recommend that you cut losses or have the girl as backup (hoping she'll get better, which is probably not.)

Another thing, it's OKAY to talk all about yourself to help things roll by. A girl that is interested SHOULD be asking you questions and knowing more about yourself.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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