"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Slaying hoodrats

H

Hockey Playa

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If youve seen the movie 40 year old virgin, where the guys tells the main charcter to go out and slay 20 or 30 hoodrats for practice at sex, i think there is some truth in that. I met this girl about a 4 or 5. She is older than me and probably more experience. She just wants sex she told me. i only have about 4 kills, and still very bad in bed i think. This girl lives a street over from me:O. Should i use her as a fu.ck buddy for practice, im pretty sure know one will find out either, shes an unknown.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Poonani Maker

Poonani Maker

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Sure man, go ahead. Even if they do find out, I wouldn't mind. I know right where to go for a hoodrat. I think I'm gonna hit that place up either Thursday or Friday and see what happens. I'm mean they'll just come up to you and tell you that they live right down the street if you wanta go ****. I usually turn them down, but.
 
P

Pro

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I'd say stab it all night mahn. 4 or 5 is like 6 or 7 in my book, because I'm on the whole "a girl gets a point or two" after you begin to kick it with her for many reasons. Do your thing mahn.
 
I

i am me

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and dont say **** to those *****es...all u gotta do is ask questions
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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V

ValleyDJing

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Personally I don't f.uck with anything lower than a 7, unless i'm in a slump, extremely wasted, or just horny as f.uck and have one that requires no effort; then I might stoop to a 6. But that 6 still has to have some redeeming qualities, like big boobs or a super nice ass.
 
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